THE JEWISH QUARTERBACK

[Richard Cranium]

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.


KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says."You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,


"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!”

 

[JB400]

https://www.forbbodiesonly.com/moparforum/threads/the-jewish-quarterback.155289/

 

[Bb70charger500]

Jezzz rc get your crap together

 

[Wingfoot]

June, 2018, my nephew (Bobby) and his wife (Amanda) took a pleasure trip to Chicago. The two are a handsome looking couple living in Kansas City in their early 30s with money and dress the part. Bobby is a small business entrepreneur and carries his high-end Apple - MacBook Pro® where ever he goes.

​

Bobby & Amanda rode on the Chicago "L" Subway and carried the laptop with them. When they both stepped off the car neither had the laptop. Once past the door, Bobby turned back to get his laptop and it was gone. The laptop was out of Bobby and Amanda's sight less than 5 seconds and then it was GONE!

To add insult to injury, Bobby quickly spanned the subway car to see where it may have gone when a black guy stuck a pistol in Bobby's gut and demanded Bobby's wallet! A fellow subway passenger, a Good Samaritan black guy, stood up to the assailant with the pistol and said, "Not today." The would-be mugger put his pistol back into his pocket and walked off the subway car without saying a word. Bobby was stunned over the whole ordeal.

Bobby had an iPhone app that put a GPS tracker on the laptop and quickly filed a police report. The police officer told Bobby the laptop landed in the most dangerous part of Chicago and was not going to risk his people to retrieve a laptop. A report was also filed on the failed aggravated robbery but realized that was going nowhere quick.

Bobby and Amanda learned valuable lessons on this trip.

 

[Brandy]

Buy a crappy laptop? Or, don't go to Chitown?

 

[69BBody]

Buy a crappy laptop? Or, don't go to Chitown?

Or rent a mopar?

 

[YY1]

In high density cities you just don't flaunt that kind of stuff in the open, and certainly don't set it down unattended.

I've been in much less populated places where if you set your wallet on the counter to count bills at the register, it will be gone before you even realize you've set it down. Mind you, you are less than 12 inches away, and looking in the general direction of it the entire time.

 

[GetX'd]

The company I worked for before retiring is based in Chicago. Home office is down n the financial district. I’ve been there many times. Used to stay right down off Wabash. It’s a shame what’s going on there cause in most respects it’s a great city. Finally got Emanuel to bail out as mayor cause things have gotten worse under his leadership or lack of it.

 

[YY1]

It's not just Chicago, and it's not recent.

Philadelphia, Baltimore, Tampa, even blue collar Dayton OH.

As far back as I can remember.

In the downtown area, you just don't do that, or you lose it.

 

[danf_fl]

It's not just Chicago, and it's not recent.

Philadelphia, Baltimore, Tampa, even blue collar Dayton OH.

As far back as I can remember.

In the downtown area, you just don't do that, or you lose it.

And most of these cities are led by Democrats. Makes one wonder.........