waroc
Well-Known Member
- Local time
- 4:47 AM
- Joined
- May 22, 2010
- Messages
- 58
- Reaction score
- 16
- Location
- Illinois / Wisconsin border
:headbang: So, I am really into one of the best books I have ever read, trying to beat the heat in the coolness of my front porch. Lounging, sideways in my porch-swing, I donned the cottoniest pair of 1980's shorts that allow for cool breezes to keep the sweat out of the folds.
A good book can prevent you from paying proper attention--just as I realized a large bee had flown into the left leg of my shorts, I was stung on my left nut. In immediate reaction to the pain, my left leg shot up and I smashed my big toe into the arm of the swing. In an instant of time, too small to measure, my balled fist was slamming down to vanquish the source of the pain..... an overwellming thought of horror crossed into my mind in mid-stroke but it was too late; I smashed my very own (precious) balls with the vengeance of a trained MMA fighter.
Oh the excruciating pain... not only that the throbing in my big toe was keeping in prefect tune with my beating heart ( which by the way was quickly approaching heart attack levels ) my nuts felt like they where under attack from a company of taliban terrorists.
I immediately curled up into a fetal position and rolled over onto the floor directly beneath my front porch swing. My eyes were teared-up and I realized that I was, hysterically laughing and crying at the same time. Oh, and to the bicyclists passing by my place at that time: Your eyes and ears were not playing tricks on you, and I am not an insane asylum escapee.
Now, as i lay there, looking up at the bottom of my formally comfortable front porch roost, quickly approaching the nothingness of unconciousness and sweet relief from the overwellming, firey pain that was at that very instant causing my balls to swell to titanic porportions, my final thoughts drift towards the " happy " ending of this story.... at least I got that effin' bee.
:3gears:
A good book can prevent you from paying proper attention--just as I realized a large bee had flown into the left leg of my shorts, I was stung on my left nut. In immediate reaction to the pain, my left leg shot up and I smashed my big toe into the arm of the swing. In an instant of time, too small to measure, my balled fist was slamming down to vanquish the source of the pain..... an overwellming thought of horror crossed into my mind in mid-stroke but it was too late; I smashed my very own (precious) balls with the vengeance of a trained MMA fighter.
Oh the excruciating pain... not only that the throbing in my big toe was keeping in prefect tune with my beating heart ( which by the way was quickly approaching heart attack levels ) my nuts felt like they where under attack from a company of taliban terrorists.
I immediately curled up into a fetal position and rolled over onto the floor directly beneath my front porch swing. My eyes were teared-up and I realized that I was, hysterically laughing and crying at the same time. Oh, and to the bicyclists passing by my place at that time: Your eyes and ears were not playing tricks on you, and I am not an insane asylum escapee.
Now, as i lay there, looking up at the bottom of my formally comfortable front porch roost, quickly approaching the nothingness of unconciousness and sweet relief from the overwellming, firey pain that was at that very instant causing my balls to swell to titanic porportions, my final thoughts drift towards the " happy " ending of this story.... at least I got that effin' bee.
:3gears:
