You gotta be gidding me

[747mopar]

Anybody have a garage buddy that tends to take things a little to far. I have a friend that hangs around on the weeknights to lend a hand when needed and drink a few beers(I'll have a few shots hear and there but don't like getting sloshed). Friday night I was trying to make some progress when my eyes started watering from the smoke (wood burner), I went out to see what was going on and there he was, door hanging open on the stove and him laying on the floor passed out. I looked around to see what he'd been doing and there was 5 empty Bud Light Tall boys and an almost empty pint of Firewater "WOW" he only weighs about 120 lb. I covered him up and hoped he'd just sleep it off but I wasn't that fortunate 10 min later I hear a crash, he's on the floor again, bleeding and now there is something sprayed all over my kerosene heater and the floor is wet. I literally loaded him up took him home and put him in his bed so he wouldn't wake his parents up "I was pissed". Now I'm trying to decide whether or not to even have him around anymore, I don't need that kind of ****. He's a good guy that just hasn't had much luck in life so I kinda feel bad for him and would like to help him out. He's not a car guy but is a damn good knife maker, he's making me a new hunting knife right now and really does have talent just doesn't apply himself. I don't know, I should probably just put a drinking limit in place for the garage "no drunks". Last night I left him at home and enjoyed a peaceful night of progress. What would you do?

 

[99ss]

Talk to him is the easiest thing to do. In fact I would have him read your thread and let him see what he did and the concerns.

 

[HT413]

Enforce the drinking limit and just maybe you can be his first step toward controlling his drinking. Toss him out of your life just doesnt sound right to me. Just my humble opinion.

 

[68sportsatelliteragtop]

If he is truly a friend, talk with him about his drinking if it is really a problem. If he gets hammered on rare occasions, that's one thing, regularly, that's another. Let him know when you are in the shop to get something done you appreciate his help but don't need the distraction of a drunk who could end up hurting himself.

 

[caveman85635]

When I was in my garage, there was always a group of friends around, which I enjoyed. Once in a while, someone would drink too much and get too rowdy. I didn't like that much. I had to have a talk with two guys about there drinking too much at my place, and they are not welcome back if they continue to get out of hand. Both of them tamed their game, and things were great.

So, I say have a talk with him about his drinking. One more occurrence and I wouldn't welcome him back.

 

[Budnicks]

747mopar If he is really drinking too much, all the time, loses focus, blindly going thru life, he should be guided toward getting some professional help, an intervention with his peers/friends or maybe even take him to AA.... I have had a few buddies, that refused to grow up, a brother that had/has substance &/or alcohol abuse... There's no easy answer, it really depends on the person & situations, especially if you care about the person, maybe you can just lay down some rules/laws & see where it goes from there, maybe he just needs some limits/guidance or structure in his life.... At 53 y/o Believe me, I'm no tea totaler at all, I grew up in the 70's, I do enjoy a good beer here & there &/or sometimes a spirited libation {usually some good bourbon, whiskey or vodka mixed drinks}, at the appropriate time & place, but never/ever if I have to drive anywhere & I don't drink, just to get fallen' down drunk, don't get me wrong, I've been there a time or two also... I grew up with my step father Bob & my Pops being "heavy drinkers", that was their era, filter-less cigarettes & booze, every day & night.... I live with an OCD obsessed, hypochondriac, narcissistic & narcoleptic, asthmatic, drunk, my old Pops drinks probably an average of 20+ oz.'s of either rot gut, Early Times or Evan Williams 80 proof Bourbon/Whiskey/booze every damn night, I don't know how he does it, really wish he wouldn't either... My younger brother Tim is the same way... If they truly have a drinking problem, all the complaining & rules don't help, believe me I've dealt with all of them now, I usually just try to make sure he's safe, I bitch at him about his being a drunk "allot", all it does is make him mad at me & he's kind of too old to change what he's done for probably 50+ years now.... That's big part of why I have him living with me now, no-one else could handle it, he kind of listens to me... He's the nicest & most caring/gracious/giving guy in the world, "before he starts hitting the booze about 3:00-3:30pm every damn day"... I feel for you, good luck...

 

[747mopar]

Good advice, "wow" didn't expect so much feedback on this. One of my intentions for having him around other than the company was to hopefully show him what hard work and dedication can do. I'm not tooting my horn but I work my *** off for everything I have and in my opinion "I've got it made". Don't get me wrong I'm by no means rich or even well to do but what I don't have in money I make up for in work like my house, I built it from the basement up only hiring the carpet to be installed other than that I built all of it. I was hoping he would see that if you want something and are willing to work for it anything is possible instead I think he gets discouraged. I won't kick him to the curb but at the same time I don't like telling people what to do so I'll just say no more getting slobbering drunk and leave it at that. After all it wouldn't be right to not have him there to celebrate the maiden voyage.:headbang:

 

[sublimegtx]

Good Luck. Hope it turns out well. Last thing you need is for him to get hurt or start your place on fire!

 

[Richard Cranium]

Unfortunately, other than voicing your concern, there's nothing you can do. He has to realize all on his own that he's got a problem.


I don't drink; never liked the taste of alcohol and I took a lot of crap from my peers in my younger years because of that. Some of those kids did become alcoholics and eventually, I stopped hanging out with the heavy drinkers in my early 20s. I can remember bumping into one years later and he told me that he wished he was like me and never drank.

 

[Budnicks]

Unfortunately, other than voicing your concern, there's nothing you can do. He has to realize all on his own that he's got a problem.


I don't drink; never liked the taste of alcohol and I took a lot of crap from my peers in my younger years because of that. Some of those kids did become alcoholics and eventually, I stopped hanging out with the heavy drinkers in my early 20s. I can remember bumping into one years later and he told me that he wished he was like me and never drank.

yep I agree, at one point they need to do it or realize it, then grow up & find it out for themselves, you may be able to guide them, but not because it doesn't fit someone else's, wants &/or needs, they ultimately need to find there own path so to speek...

 

[ws27]

The best thing you can do is set rules for YOUR garage. If they need to be no drinking then so be it. He needs to choose what he wants to do.

 

[Budnicks]

Good advice, "wow" didn't expect so much feedback on this. One of my intentions for having him around other than the company was to hopefully show him what hard work and dedication can do. I'm not tooting my horn but I work my *** off for everything I have and in my opinion "I've got it made". Don't get me wrong I'm by no means rich or even well to do but what I don't have in money I make up for in work like my house, I built it from the basement up only hiring the carpet to be installed other than that I built all of it. I was hoping he would see that if you want something and are willing to work for it anything is possible instead I think he gets discouraged. I won't kick him to the curb but at the same time I don't like telling people what to do so I'll just say no more getting slobbering drunk and leave it at that. After all it wouldn't be right to not have him there to celebrate the maiden voyage.:headbang:

I agree... Being a good friend & a good role model, can't hurt either...

 

[RustyRatRod]

Tell him no drinkin at your place anymore. That's how people get hurt. If he's a real friend, he'll understand, if not, you didn't need him anyway.

 

[69rtse4spd]

I don;t drink so no problem, but yea have a talk with him.

 

[roadrunnerman]

I'm not a heavy or light drinker by any standards but have done some major drinking in my younger days. Like everybody else has said, you might need to talk to him. Maybe have your camera close by. The next time he goes overboard on drinking, take a photo and show him how he drinks then tell him you appreciate him coming over to talk and keep you company but for his safety and the safety of yourself, family, and your car he needs to curb his drinking a little bit. Maybe set a limit as too how much you will allow. The next time he passes out, you might not be able to find out in time.

 

[Propwash]

Wow...Last belligerent drunk that made an *** of himself ended up getting tossed in my swimming pool to chill out. Hasn't been back since. I'd Tell him to cut the circus show or hit the road..Sounds like the situation could have been lot worse and very quickly. I have a bunch of buddies that swing by and tip a few back (including some moochers), but they always have enough respect for myself, the wife and my property to keep it under control. One's got to wonder how much class and respect for you and yours this guy has if he get's to the point of destroying stuff and putting your family and property in jeopardy. I'm sure most of known folks that hit the bottle hard and some friendly advice can go far, but something like that I would imagine you either need to take a real serious look at getting the guy help (if he's receptive to it) or booting him out the door, being he's putting you on an edge of a cliff as well. Good luck.

 

[Northwest]

A He's a good guy that just hasn't had much luck in life so I kinda feel bad for him and would like to help him out. He's not a car guy but is a damn good knife maker, he's making me a new hunting knife right now and really does have talent just doesn't apply himself. I don't know, I should probably just put a drinking limit in place for the garage "no drunks". Last night I left him at home and enjoyed a peaceful night of progress. What would you do?

Sounds like you and your buddy are young-ish. I had a friend that was just like you described when I was young-ish. I just couldn't keep up, and frankly wasn't that interested. His life had to crash in many ways before he woke up and dealt with it. He stopped drinking and replaced it with excercise. Strangely enough - 20 years later - the dude has practically exercised himself to death. (multiple fractures, joint replacements, etc. and he's just over 40)

What I have learned that there are people who have addictions. Whether its drink, drug, sex, work, etc - these folks need to channel their energies on a consistent basis into something 'good' or it goes into something 'bad', or whatever. If your buddy is that out of control on a regular basis - no talking is going to do any good. He needs to find a way to deal with his addiction. You can point it out - but that's about all.

 

[747mopar]

Sounds like you and your buddy are young-ish. I had a friend that was just like you described when I was young-ish. I just couldn't keep up, and frankly wasn't that interested. His life had to crash in many ways before he woke up and dealt with it. He stopped drinking and replaced it with excercise. Strangely enough - 20 years later - the dude has practically exercised himself to death. (multiple fractures, joint replacements, etc. and he's just over 40)

What I have learned that there are people who have addictions. Whether its drink, drug, sex, work, etc - these folks need to channel their energies on a consistent basis into something 'good' or it goes into something 'bad', or whatever. If your buddy is that out of control on a regular basis - no talking is going to do any good. He needs to find a way to deal with his addiction. You can point it out - but that's about all.

I wouldn't say I'm young "36" maybe to some. I want to clear one thing up and that is that my garage is nearly a 1/8 mile from my house "I would never allow that kind of stuff go on around my family". I to never had much of a taste for alcohol but do appreciate the occasional firewater or rum but I keep it well under control spacing the shots and never getting to the point that I can't think intelligently. Growing up I got stupid drunk and sick enough times I don't go there anymore as a result I usually ended up being the babysitter, I 36 with a family and I'm over it. Usually he brings a six pack and everything is fine so maybe I'll start there and just tell him no more liquor.

 

[747mopar]

Well, I went to pick him up last Friday and didn't have to say a thing. He quickly said that he wasn't mixing liquor anymore, the night went well. Guess he learned on his own.

 

[Sonny Black]

AA