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Man test

Richard Cranium

FBBO Gold Member
FBBO Gold Member
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MAN TEST

1. If you are over forty and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws and whines to be fed.. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your *** over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, ring pops, baby pacifiers or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a gaylord.. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet or tits. Anything else and you are a homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'decaf soy latte'. If you've put a decaf soy latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free *** passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge of being a salami smuggler.
 
Damn Right, With flying Red White and Blue colors. No F----n chartreuse here , What color is that anyway ? Ha ha
 
What about flying the rainbow flag.....? You didn't say anything about that vs. the Don't a tread on Me flag.......
 
What about flying the rainbow flag.....? You didn't say anything about that vs. the Don't a tread on Me flag.......

sheeeit. if you you're flying the rainbow flag, guaranteed your a cock gobbler.
 
Damn Right, With flying Red White and Blue colors. No F----n chartreuse here , What color is that anyway ? Ha ha
Only reason I know that color,is C.W.McCall,the song convoy,"eleven long haired friends of Jesus in a chartreuse micro bus" I think it's green of some kind. lol:lol:
 
I have to admit to enjoying an occasional Barista made Flat White....but that don't mean that I blow the meat whistle.
I do like eating raw oysters, even though they feel like cold snot going down my throat. :lol:
 
I have to admit to enjoying an occasional Barista made Flat White....but that don't mean that I blow the meat whistle.
I do like eating raw oysters, even though they feel like cold snot going down my throat. :lol:


I have never tried eating raw oysters. What is the pay off/up slide? :poke:
 
I have never tried eating raw oysters. What is the pay off/up slide? :poke:
Apparently they put more lead in your pencil. I usually use my computer these days, so I'm wondering about the up side myself. :lol:
 
what's with the coffee crap ? never touched it never will ! there would be 5 -6 million pissed off tea drinking aussies if that was a true measure
 
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