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The Americans With No Abilities Act (ANAA) Funny read

Timmayy

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The Americans With No Abilities Act (ANAA)



The Democrat Senators are considering sweeping legislation that would provide new benefits for many more Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills and ambition.

“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.”

In a Capitol Hill press conference, Nancy Pelosi pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, “Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?”

“As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember “righty tighty, lefty loosey”. “This new law should be real good for people like me. I'll finally have job security.” With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Sen. Dick Durbin, II: “As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.”



This message was approved by Diane Feinstein, Barbara Boxer, Maxine (WaWa) Waters & Nancy Pelosi.
 
Pretty funny but sadly I can see this actually happening. Send this off to Yale and see the special snowflakes dancing in the street believing this to be true.
 
HEY, I resemble that remark! I'm offended. [Not]
 
SSR should be checking that out..
 
I think many of the managers at my job have used this. This is obviously a joke, but it does raise a question for all of us. For people who don't "try"....you're on your own buddy.

But for people who try hard, care about their work, but just don't have any "high tech skill".....like general laborers, assembly line, cashiers (fyi-I've done all these jobs at one time) it's sort of an issue. As we become more & more automated with robotics & self-check-out lanes in grocery stores, etc. a lot of these people are losing their jobs. Some good, hard-working people at my work just lost their jobs because a machine replaced them. They're not slackers...they're hard workers, but don't have a college degree or a "skilled trade" they can fall back on. Personally, I think we should do whatever we can to help re-train good, hard-working individuals. Otherwise, they'll just end up on welfare. I'd rather re-train them & let them pay their own way.
 
That's a point of view. Another would be that we as a society, and companies in general, should not be saddled with the costs of retraining those who were previously satisfied with their positions. So satisfied, that even knowing that automation was coming, and who didn't know...really, they did nothing to ready themselves to take advantage of the change by learning new skills. You might say well if they were working 12 hour days or nights, and raising a family, how could they do that? The same way my Dad did it in 1974, night school 5 nights a week to learn CNC machine operation while having 12 hour days in the foundry breaking his strong back and raising six children under the age of 18. The point is that as a worker, you gotta want it, not wait for it to be given to you after the fact.
 
That's a point of view. Another would be that we as a society, and companies in general, should not be saddled with the costs of retraining those who were previously satisfied with their positions. So satisfied, that even knowing that automation was coming, and who didn't know...really, they did nothing to ready themselves to take advantage of the change by learning new skills. You might say well if they were working 12 hour days or nights, and raising a family, how could they do that? The same way my Dad did it in 1974, night school 5 nights a week to learn CNC machine operation while having 12 hour days in the foundry breaking his strong back and raising six children under the age of 18. The point is that as a worker, you gotta want it, not wait for it to be given to you after the fact.

You make a good point Ghost. I'm "skilled" but more and more it seems like I don't have enough "skill" to make a decent living and it's my own fault/laziness to blame. After the "economy meltdown of 2008/2009" I got laid off, worked a low-paying job and now that I'm back in my profession, my pay is like $20k less than it used to be ten years ago.... and I wasn't even replaced by a robot. Overall, pay seems to be quite lower. People who lost their jobs are back to work now, but at much lower salaries. Also, it seems like the days of starting at a "ground floor" job, working there for 40 yrs., moving your way up through hard work, etc. are long gone. Companies get "raided & flipped", bought/sold, etc. I've had 3 companies collapse and/or sell out to another company right from under my feet during my career.
 
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I understand the problem. I'm sorry your caught in that mess. It's never a simple black or white answer to these complex issues that are affected by so many things beyond our control. Those days are pretty much gone, your right. The service industry is drying up on many fronts and others are coming to the fore. I should think that a young person who wants remain employed would research just where the new opportunities will be emerging over the next decade or so and then get themselves lined out to take advantage of them. The academic counselors will be doing that as well, if they're any good. I wish you luck.
I came into the workplace for real, other than summer jobs, in 1974. There were literally no jobs to be had. Adults were working the jobs that usually went to young people. The military was my route out and up. Stayed 30 years.
 
The Americans With No Abilities Act (ANAA)



The Democrat Senators are considering sweeping legislation that would provide new benefits for many more Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills and ambition.

“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.”

In a Capitol Hill press conference, Nancy Pelosi pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, “Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?”

“As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember “righty tighty, lefty loosey”. “This new law should be real good for people like me. I'll finally have job security.” With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------Funny but out of those idiots, I can believe it !





This message was approved by Diane Feinstein, Barbara Boxer, Maxine (WaWa) Waters & Nancy Pelosi.
 
I understand the problem. I'm sorry your caught in that mess. It's never a simple black or white answer to these complex issues that are affected by so many things beyond our control. Those days are pretty much gone, your right. The service industry is drying up on many fronts and others are coming to the fore. I should think that a young person who wants remain employed would research just where the new opportunities will be emerging over the next decade or so and then get themselves lined out to take advantage of them. The academic counselors will be doing that as well, if they're any good. I wish you luck.
I came into the workplace for real, other than summer jobs, in 1974. There were literally no jobs to be had. Adults were working the jobs that usually went to young people. The military was my route out and up. Stayed 30 years.

Hey Ghost, thanks... but stuff happens & I'm still breathing. You're right, it's a tough thing to work out, no matter what you do. If you say "everyone is on their own" some good people with get screwed. If you say "here's the bread line" some slackers will get in that line for sure. Tough, tough question. Honestly, I "think" I'm too old to re-train, but maybe that's just my own lazy excuse....hard to say.
 
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