Dating a Sister-in-Law?

[Bruzilla]

I'm going to throw this out here because I've been asked for some advice on a personal matter, and I'm really not sure what to say.

Here's the situation. A guy has a pretty substantial relationship with a gal. They date for two years, move in together and live that way for a couple of years and then decide to get married last November. The guy is very close with his wife's family.

Two months ago, he finds out his new bride started having an affair with some douchebag she met back in March, just five months after the wedding. She lies and lies about it for a month, and then when she finally gets cornered she does the old "three times" confession (you can't say you only slept with a guy once 'cause no one will believe you, and you can't say how many times you really did as they'll hate you, so you say "three" as that's the lowest believable number). I then heard that a couple of years ago, they briefly separated because the guy wanted her to focus on finishing school and getting her degree, and while he remained faithful to her, she was banging at least three (there's that three again) other guys.

So my advice was to drop this tramp like a hot rock. She's worthless, and right now you have little shared property and no kids, so count this as a blessing. He opted to go the other way and give her that always-failing "one more chance", which I have no doubt she'll be out banging another "soul mate" in a few months.

This is where things get difficult. Said tramp has a gorgeous sister who has been crushing on this guy since he started dating her sister. This gal is everything her sister isn't. She's smart, funny, shares the same interests, quick to help, etc., and the guy has loads more in common with her than the gal he married. Now said sister-in-law is making it pretty obvious she's interested in a relationship with this guy and if there were no family issues I would say he should ditch the tramp and hook up with this girl... but we're talking sisters, we're talking lots of family drama, and the potential for a lot of hostility.

So... should he pass or play?

 

[Slap Stick]

Play....for now.

 

[dieseldazzle]

Pass. Plenty of fish in the sea. Tell him to open up his eyes to his self worth.

 

[steve from staten island]

First off i only talk to my very closest friends on these types of matters. I only have one very close friend who was in a similar situation and id never talk about his ex like you are talking about his. I only hope you dont refer to his wife to him like you are doing here. If I'm wrong my apologies. The other thing is this aint Ann Landers and the opinions( including mine) id hesitate to take to seriously.
Your friend needs to make this decision as does his ex's sister in law. It could ruin a family for the rest of there lives. The relationship between sisters is also something to be considered. While a spouse cheating is a issue the door swings both ways and plenty of guys do the same thing. The issue is why did she do it? Myself id divorce her now before they build up to much common property or more importantly have children.
In todays society were sex is constantly everywhere we turn from TV to going shopping, were self satisfaction is drummed into people's heads as the most important thing in the world this is why we have so much declining morals and cheating.
So to answer your question my opinion is not relevant and neither is yours or anyone else's. This friend if he is your brother, your son or your closest friend is the only way id talk to someone about this. Other than that id offer support but leave the rest up to the person involved, least it come back some day and bite you on the ***. MYOB is the order of the day.

 

[Car Nut]

Pass, sounds like it runs in the family, they're both tramps!

 

[super-bee_ski]

Pass. Plenty of fish in the sea. Tell him to open up his eyes to his self worth.

X2
I'm with dieseldazzle guys!

 

[5.7 hemi]

Gotta get a test drive in before ya make any hasty decisions!

 

[MarPar]

PASS. ok, maybe bang the sister a couple of times just to get back at the whore and then drop them both like a bad habit.

 

[65-440]

Play ! ... he doesn't have to marry the sister, but definitely play !

 

[91r/t]

Just don't knock her up!!!

 

[Mogre]

Sounds like the makings for a Jerry Springer show.

 

[Bruzilla]

First off i only talk to my very closest friends on these types of matters. I only have one very close friend who was in a similar situation and id never talk about his ex like you are talking about his. I only hope you dont refer to his wife to him like you are doing here. If I'm wrong my apologies. The other thing is this aint Ann Landers and the opinions( including mine) id hesitate to take to seriously.
Your friend needs to make this decision as does his ex's sister in law. It could ruin a family for the rest of there lives. The relationship between sisters is also something to be considered. While a spouse cheating is a issue the door swings both ways and plenty of guys do the same thing. The issue is why did she do it? Myself id divorce her now before they build up to much common property or more importantly have children.
In todays society were sex is constantly everywhere we turn from TV to going shopping, were self satisfaction is drummed into people's heads as the most important thing in the world this is why we have so much declining morals and cheating.
So to answer your question my opinion is not relevant and neither is yours or anyone else's. This friend if he is your brother, your son or your closest friend is the only way id talk to someone about this. Other than that id offer support but leave the rest up to the person involved, least it come back some day and bite you on the ***. MYOB is the order of the day.

First, none of you know any of these folks, so it's not like I'm asking for opinions about people we all know, which I wouldn't do. Second, I do talk about his wife the way I did on here. In fact, she has refused to even come near me since all this broke because she knows full well how I feel about her, which is the same way I feel about all people who act that way. As I told this guy, I was an AW in the Navy. AWs had the highest divorce rate in the Navy, the Navy the highest in the military, the military the highest in America, and America the highest in the world, so I've seen a ton of relationships go south and usually always for a fairly consistent set of reasons and with a consistent set of actions and reactions. So there's nothing she could say to me that I haven't heard several times before.

As for the issue being why she did it, who cares? She lied about having an affair for months. What makes you think you would ever get the truth about motive from a woman like that? This is what happens when you throw away your credibility... no one can take you at your word for anything after that.

As for asking advice, I never assume to think I know everything, which is why I don't feel uncomfortable asking you guys for some input, which is likely the reason this guy who's not a close friend but not casual either felt he should ask me for my opinion. I'm nothing but a guy in the neighborhood with a cool car he likes to talk about, so I'm to him what you guys are to me.

 

[eldubb440]

bang that bitch like a screen door in a hurricane!

 

[steve from staten island]

First, none of you know any of these folks, so it's not like I'm asking for opinions about people we all know, which I wouldn't do. Second, I do talk about his wife the way I did on here. In fact, she has refused to even come near me since all this broke because she knows full well how I feel about her, which is the same way I feel about all people who act that way. As I told this guy, I was an AW in the Navy. AWs had the highest divorce rate in the Navy, the Navy the highest in the military, the military the highest in America, and America the highest in the world, so I've seen a ton of relationships go south and usually always for a fairly consistent set of reasons and with a consistent set of actions and reactions. So there's nothing she could say to me that I haven't heard several times before.

As for the issue being why she did it, who cares? She lied about having an affair for months. What makes you think you would ever get the truth about motive from a woman like that? This is what happens when you throw away your credibility... no one can take you at your word for anything after that.

As for asking advice, I never assume to think I know everything, which is why I don't feel uncomfortable asking you guys for some input, which is likely the reason this guy who's not a close friend but not casual either felt he should ask me for my opinion. I'm nothing but a guy in the neighborhood with a cool car he likes to talk about, so I'm to him what you guys are to me.

Don't get so twisted i said if i was wrong my apologies . My experience over my life with this stuff is offer condolences but not get involved. People often ask others whom there not that close with for personal advise because there looking for others to tell them what a POS there spouse was, they want approval and nothing more. I just went through this with a friend from work. The old story my wife the bitch did this and that and now were getting divorced, poor me. The best advise you could ever give this guy would be to see a professional or his pastor, a lawyer goes without saying.
Your as usual opinionated and think you always know whats right. its none of your business and i fail to see why you'd make it your business to meddle in someones martial affairs then post it on a car forum. Its like you need reassurance and i aint giving it. I do have to wonder if your buddy was caught screwing his old girlfriend what your reaction would be

 

[Mike67]

You don't **** where you eat and you don't eat where you ****...although it might be intriguing in a taboo sense it would make for a disturbing family dynamic if it ever came to that.
One of my closest friends ex ended up marrying his brother, kids in each that really ended up being f'ed up....uncle became step dad and the aunt became a step mom....that was too much for them to understand at thier small ages...

 

[MiradaMegaCab]

As being that there are no kids involved..... I don't see any major issues from him dating the sister...

Shania Twain did the whole swap and is happy.....
Shania Twain addressed her bitter, bizarre 'spouse swap' on Wednesday night's episode of Watch What Happens Live.

Seven years ago, Robert 'Mutt' Lange - the father of her 13-year-old son Eja - left Shania for her longtime secretary and best friend, Marie-Anne Thiébaud.

The divorce caused the 49-year-old singer to come down with dysphonia until she wed Marie-Anne's Swiss ex-husband Frédéric in 2011.

So the two couples above effectively swapped partners.....

 

[khryslerkid]

Stay the F out of it!

He'll make his decision without you being blamed for the outcome.

 

[69a100]

Hello, Payton Place? I have a story line for you!

 

[NJRR]

First thing, if your friend is done with his wife, he should divorce her and start living separately. After that, both him and the sister can decide if they want to get involved with each other. Your friend owes no loyalty or consideration to the wife since it was her actions that destroyed the marriage.

 

[Bladecutter]

Run from both! 'nuf said.