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Say Goodbye To Toilet Paper

Didn’t they used to market that as a hemorrhoid remover?
 
Now, let's look at this differently. Scratch (pun intended) that first idea, but I could see this as a good back scratcher. What say you ?
 
How do you clean that thing? Wait, don't answer, I don't want to know.
 
Just have your local Geek Squad install one of these for you. And hope it doesn't need a software upgrade while you're downloading.
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$10K will purchase a lot of TP and air freshener.
Or this:
 
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