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I get disappointed a lot...

All I can say Ed is one day at a time. We were told we will have trails and tribulations in our life. I have not walked in your shoes but I do know what pain and depression is. There are days when I am done but He has us here for a reason. His ways are higher then ours my friend. You take care Ed. David
 
Y'see, you get disappointed a lot because you're an "optimist". I, on the other hand, am a pessimist. I think everything is going to turn out like ****. So when it does, which is usually the case, I'm not disappointed. However, when things don't turn out like **** I'm overjoyed. So in a nutshell, I'm rarely disappointed and occasionally very happy. I love being an pessimist!
We have a winner (although I suspect, an unwitting one... :) ).
Congrats Mr. Kent - you'ce stumbled upon my core motivation for starting this thread, namely, that I am indeed
an optimist
in a universe that eats such for lunch.
Unfortunately, I'm an optimist in a world designed to constantly consume, erode, take advantage of and generally
whiz in ones' Wheaties...

But instead of taking the tack Mr. Kent here is a proponent of, I've steadfastly refused to accept that odds are, life
is out to get me - and instead, I am totally invested in hope.
Some used to call being such a "hopeless romantic" - or at the most crude, a gullible fool - but it's what makes me
get up in the morning
. There simply has to be a goal, a possibility of making something better....
A purpose to life for me, which for most of my 40+ year career in fire protection was my job itself.
Well, silly me...more on that later.

Now, don't get me wrong - there's been times in my earlier life where I actually enjoyed engaging in the competition and
could be a right arsehole as the situation dictated; I could go toe to toe with the best of them if I chose to.
Takes a lot of energy to engage in such, though - and as one ages, wisens up and yes, eventually gets worn down
and attacked by ones' own body with all manner of physical maladies, eventually one sees the light on all that - if you're
lucky enough to still be self-aware to do so of course.
Ok, enough with all that - suffice to say I've always fallen back on my upbringing and conscience and chosen the high road
when it comes to a given situation - at least to the point of always trying to do the right thing, even if it put me at a
distinct disadvantage (which it very often did).
I may have screwed it up a few times, but anyone who's ever really known me knows not to question intent or integrity -
and that is very much by design.

"So what, Ed? What's different now?" you might ask.
Therein lies the rest of the story here.... ok, to review:
I'm an optimist and insist doggedly on getting back up and trying again, every damn time I've had my ***
handed to me for being so, insisting on trusting the next one until they give me reason not to.

To do so in this world is a recipe for constant disappointment, see?
The difference now, though?
My last employment was no exception, but it finally drove home that I may have finally seen the light...
I bought the line of the supervisor that I was to come on board and build his service department (he didn't have one)
in my area of expertise, just like I've done other places several times before.
I believed him...and instead spent the next year and a half treading water.
Turns out, their goal was to try to obtain ownership of my reputation in the business, along with that always valuable
customer list that I've acquired over the decades.

No dice there, pony boy - ain't my first rodeo, saw that one coming; my obligation to all those folks on the list is to
retain integrity and look out for their best interests even if I was no longer in a position to help them.
Further, the local office (come to find out later) was under corporate orders to "get a fire guy" in-house - any fire
guy - and get him on a leash for later.
Turns out, that was to be me...
I left a perfectly good job for this, mind you. Optimistic! Possible improvement in career! Oy...

A funny thing happened on the way to all that, though - I figured out what their game was and refused to comply, insisting
that I be allowed to perform the duties I had signed up for.
Once they figured out I was no rube, they instead hired a younger banty rooster and gave him marching orders to "wear
the old guy out - make him do menial tasks, drive hundreds of miles a week, wear him out...."
I instantly saw the game - and a younger me might have engaged competition mode - and I certainly felt betrayed and
once again felt the victim for believing someones' promises and took them at their word.

But...

This time, after a particularly enjoyable (but exhausting) final annual inspection of a local tech college (I always loved "visiting"
with customers and doing what I'm best at in the process), when the orders from Banty Rooster boy for the next day involved
the usual, now tiresome "get in the Transit and drive 90 miles to the next one"... I refused, flatly.
Knowing that meant instant loss of good wages, instead something in me just said "that's enough".
They were incredulous. How DARE I tell them I was resigning? Totally screwed up their plans...
But I did.
In that instant, I chose to finally break the lifelong "no good deed goes unpunished" chain I had lived and simply go home.
"Y'all come fetch all your company crap, I'm done."

Consider it a defeat and me a beaten man, if that's as simple as you'd like to see it.
Me, I know it's a ton more than that - all part of getting my final house in order, really - and although I've not a lot to show
for all the efforts, I walk away from a lifelong career that no longer has any use for me - but also, with my head still up
and my integrity and optimism intact.
So yeah, I get disappointed a lot - but at least now I acknowledge that it isn't any different in this world for anyone else
and I'll continue to look for reasons to get up in the morning that doesn't involve seeking some sort of reckoning or
justice in this world.
I'll generate my own, thanks.
 
I didn't get the skinny on it. Remember I cut you off short when you started to tell me and I said I'll wait till I read it in one of "Ed's Story Time" threads. :)
Ah - and I DO plan on writing that story soon my friend. It's oddly funny as hell, at my expense. :)
 
Ed,
You have a way with words that very few people possess. Reading anything from you on his site has always made my day in one way or another. It seems that as I age & go through more pain & disappointments, I somehow find a kind of comfort in your posts that helps me to persevere and keep a more positive outlook on life; even as my own health seems to be waning. So, I just want to thank you for the intended & unintended ways your posts have brought me a better way of seeing things in many ways & on many levels. Whatever is coming in the future, just know that you have had a very positive effect on an untold number of folks in your life as well as my own outlook and I am sure many others can echo my sentiments. Much like the words spoken in that Star Trek movie from Captain Kirk about Spock "You were the most HUMAN!" May the rest of your days, however many, be filled with comfort and contentment. Thank you & God Bess You!
-Brian
God love ya man, you humble me! Thank you.
You sound like my wife in that she also tries to tell me that my observations of being "forgotten" in my profession
isn't so much the fact that I didn't do some good as it is more human nature that most folks don't find it easy to
let one another know they appreciate the effort oftentimes.
I hope she's right about that...
Anyways, she IS correct that even if nobody else says much about what I've done, I know...and so does He. :praying:
I find some comfort in that, I truly do.

A quick note on my health: I recently had all manner of tests run (like they do with people like me - I fascinate 'em,
you know, such a specimen for studying!) and I shocked them all with bloodworks that showed remarkablly good
results, especially for a dead guy. :thumbsup:
When the doc insisted I fess up on some great strides I must be making on my diet or exercise regimens, I literally
snickered and said "yeah, riiiight doc". :)
She said "well, how do you explain this then?"
I gave her two possibilities:
Lab mixed up my results with someone healthier - or - I asked the doc if she was aware how a light bulb will
sometimes burn really brightly right before it blows out.
She says "sure"....then as she saw my grin, she got the inference. :)
I can still put on the show of being "ok" for the time I'm in with this or that doc - but in reality, my tank is empty,
depleted, batteries near dead without hope of recharging...and that's ok, kinda knew it was coming.

So...
From the land of poor guys eating cat food off social security checks from here on in, I salute you sir!
God bless and keep you and yours. This ain't over yet! :thumbsup:
 
All I can say Ed is one day at a time. We were told we will have trails and tribulations in our life. I have not walked in your shoes but I do know what pain and depression is. There are days when I am done but He has us here for a reason. His ways are higher then ours my friend. You take care Ed. David
Yes sir, He does. Drives me batty trying to figure it out, too. :)
 
I’m a little confused here on the subject of your posts . It feels like it went from mostly talking about your dire medical situation to a rather lengthy statement about your job dealings. To me , those two are pretty far apart in the subject of life and death. Also…I have to be straight with you , talking about being optimistic as you do and then post complaints in the form of how life is mistreating you in the physical health area and your job troubles , really doesn’t come across as optimism to me.
 
I’m a little confused here on the subject of your posts . It feels like it went from mostly talking about your dire medical situation to a rather lengthy statement about your job dealings. To me , those two are pretty far apart in the subject of life and death. Also…I have to be straight with you , talking about being optimistic as you do and then post complaints in the form of how life is mistreating you in the physical health area and your job troubles , really doesn’t come across as optimism to me.
I think Ed is just letting us know that Life sucks sometimes. And most people will let you down.
 
I think Ed is just letting us know that Life sucks sometimes. And most people will let you down.
Well that’s fair enough. No doubt many of us here have had our trials and tribulations with life’s inequities, myself included. I believe when you get punched by life , you regroup and look forward to the next day as a time to change things. If not for yourself then for your kids and anyone else around you. People letting you down? No doubt You leave them behind and move on, like you have done your whole life.
 
I’m a little confused here on the subject of your posts . It feels like it went from mostly talking about your dire medical situation to a rather lengthy statement about your job dealings. To me , those two are pretty far apart in the subject of life and death. Also…I have to be straight with you , talking about being optimistic as you do and then post complaints in the form of how life is mistreating you in the physical health area and your job troubles , really doesn’t come across as optimism to me.
I'll put you down as a critic then, fair enough. Seems you're cherry-picking parts and bits of what I write, though.

Even more fair would be to note that you haven't been around here comparatively long enough to have sampled
all I've posted over the years here and therefore have, at best, a partially incomplete basis to form an opinion on, eh?

Your objections are duly noted. You've every right to them, just as I have to disagree with you - and I do have the
advantage of knowing the writer pretty well. :)
 
I think Ed is just letting us know that Life sucks sometimes. And most people will let you down.
Part of it, sure - but there's so much more beyond that - which was the point of the post, as I've extensively
explained in subsequent posts, my friend.
The story may begin there, but it sure didn't end there... :)
 
[QUOTE="moparedtn, post: 913208259,

Even more fair would be to note that you haven't been around here comparatively long enough to have sampled
all I've posted over the years here and therefore have, at best, a partially incomplete basis to form an opinion on, eh?


It seems that by this statement above ( yes , I cherry picked it ) you use this forum more for gathering friends and sharing somewhat personal conversations. There is nothing wrong with that for the some of you who do, For myself , I’ve joined here to ask car related questions, possibly help someone else, buy parts, and sometimes be very amused.
One may ask me , well why do you read these posts? I would say that you don’t always know what the content is by the title. Also , you can get sucked in deeper as you read on.
Afterwords I ask myself, was all that drama worth reading?
A: No. So I will make a conscious effort to avoid these in the future when possible and you won’t have to see the lesser opinions of a guy who has not been on fbbo as long as you and your cronies.
 
I have to agree with the above. Your first post comes across as a cry for help, from someone seriously ill or extremely depressed.

People take the time to read this and most think of, and offer up support and helpful advice, and most are told "that's not what I meant, only a select few know what I mean, the rest of you have to wait for the grand unveiling".

Then you post a somewhat upbeat story about telling work to jam the job up their ***.

Glad to hear your health check went well.
 
I have to agree with the above. Your first post comes across as a cry for help, from someone seriously ill or extremely depressed.

People take the time to read this and most think of, and offer up support and helpful advice, and most are told "that's not what I meant, only a select few know what I mean, the rest of you have to wait for the grand unveiling".

Then you post a somewhat upbeat story about telling work to jam the job up their ***.

Glad to hear your health check went well.
Unbelievable. You said exactly what I was trying to say, in far less words. Thanks.
 
I'm actually feeling up. (Yes countdown to retirement is 4 months.) But I'm still having decent success on car duties. Even looking to possibly add to the stable? I target cars that are drivable, but need TLC. Especially if non-number matching. So not to pay numbers matching prices.

So feeling actually alittle younger than just one year ago. Lol.
 
I'm actually feeling up. (Yes countdown to retirement is 4 months.) But I'm still having decent success on car duties. Even looking to possibly add to the stable? I target cars that are drivable, but need TLC. Especially if non-number matching. So not to pay numbers matching prices.

So feeling actually alittle younger than just one year ago. Lol.
It’s funny how that happens. Myself I picked up a 76 dodge b100 van last year to play around with. Immediately got the restoration blood flowing.
 
It’s funny how that happens. Myself I picked up a 76 dodge b100 van last year to play around with. Immediately got the restoration blood flowing.
It really is. My B-body is a blessing. I add new radiator and add shoud. Fuel gauge starts working. For first time since I owned. I have a whole new float and sending unit. But it started working. For no reason?

It's the car. I've never had a car like this. The more you rub and love. The more she responds. (And yes, it's a she as a good girl. Bad? BAD BOY!!!)
 
That’s the way to go. Positive energy.
Instead of waking up the next day and being disappointed. Wake up knowing you are going to do some of things to your car that you were thinking about when you were falling asleep!
 
[QUOTE="moparedtn, post: 913208259,

Even more fair would be to note that you haven't been around here comparatively long enough to have sampled
all I've posted over the years here and therefore have, at best, a partially incomplete basis to form an opinion on, eh?


It seems that by this statement above ( yes , I cherry picked it ) you use this forum more for gathering friends and sharing somewhat personal conversations. There is nothing wrong with that for the some of you who do, For myself , I’ve joined here to ask car related questions, possibly help someone else, buy parts, and sometimes be very amused.
One may ask me , well why do you read these posts? I would say that you don’t always know what the content is by the title. Also , you can get sucked in deeper as you read on.
Afterwords I ask myself, was all that drama worth reading?
A: No. So I will make a conscious effort to avoid these in the future when possible and you won’t have to see the lesser opinions of a guy who has not been on fbbo as long as you and your cronies.
I don't necessarily object to opposing viewpoints - or even snipes, for that matter.
What I don't have much use for, on this forum or in life in general, are those who develop their opinions
in a manner I call "***-backwards" - they arrive at the opinion first, then go about attempting to dig up
("cherry pick") "facts" that support that opinion.

That's illogical and to be honest, it's how most of our media works these days, too.
It's all of little use - all negative, no attempts to contribute positively, etc. (sniping).
Instead, I like to see people do what I try to do - when it's time to find out about a given subject
(I've decided I'm interested enough to delve into it some), I go about doing my "homework" (due
dilligence), then once I feel I've gathered enough facts (not "spin" - actual tangible, verifiable facts)
then I feel comfortable formulating an opinion on the subject.
That's the logical way to go about it - rather than go off half-cocked and make statements that intend
only to be critical.

As it is, I understand that what I write, some folks just don't care for. That's normal and fine, too - it's
just that most of them don't feel the need to comment, rather arriving at what you've now decided to
do - ignore future posts and move on.
Either way, I wish you the best and thanks for stopping in - but understand, I write these mainly for
myself as a form of steam release. If anyone else finds anything useful in them, great!
If not, I'm moving on nonetheless.
 
I'm actually feeling up. (Yes countdown to retirement is 4 months.) But I'm still having decent success on car duties. Even looking to possibly add to the stable? I target cars that are drivable, but need TLC. Especially if non-number matching. So not to pay numbers matching prices.

So feeling actually alittle younger than just one year ago. Lol.
Right there with ya, my friend. Signing up for social security was quite the event, but between that getting done
and finally letting go of the 40+ years has been incredibly freeing - quite a load off, as it were!
Example:
I keep in touch with the other handful of like companies in the region that do what I used to do and to a man,
they all express not so much the same old competitive banter we engaged in over the decades, but instead they
express concern for my health and are shocked when I tell them I actually feel better than I have in years. :)

Now of course, is the challenge of trying to stay on top of all the things my wife has "found" for me to do. :thumbsup:
 
I have to agree with the above. Your first post comes across as a cry for help, from someone seriously ill or extremely depressed.

People take the time to read this and most think of, and offer up support and helpful advice, and most are told "that's not what I meant, only a select few know what I mean, the rest of you have to wait for the grand unveiling".

Then you post a somewhat upbeat story about telling work to jam the job up their ***.

Glad to hear your health check went well.
Sharp as a tack, sir. Mentally, I'm in as good a place right now as I have been in probably 15 years or so...
You've missed the point of this exercise if you think otherwise.
I'll try to summarize briefly:
1. I acknowledge most all of my initial post as a goodly part of my history (and I'm betting I'm not alone with
some of it). Just stating what I've experienced, as a base for what comes next...
2. I then state at the end of that initial post that I still get up in the morning looking for constructive things
to engage with - with the hope in my heart that I'll engage with like-minded folks in doing so.
They're out there - in fact, they're the majority, silent though they may be.
I enjoy hell out of engaging with strangers anywhere - the store, social events, wherever.
Nobody is a stranger to me and I approach each encounter as if it's going to be a good one.
3. I then in subsequent posts try to answer questions, correct misinterpretations, tell the usual obligatory
obvious snipers to take a hike and wait for someone to figure out why i posted to begin with...
and looky there!

Some folks, the ones who are actually open-minded when they read it and "get it", start offering up positive
constructive comments, which lead to to eventual purpose of the post, which I'll state as plainly as I can:
At this point in my life, I can now look back at all that and acknowledge it for what it is -
it no longer has any bearing in my life and I've let it go - stopped trying to "fix" it.

How incredibly freeing that is! 20 pounds, right off my stooped shoulders...

I know how the world worked for me - how despite all the dishonesty and such, I managed to provide for
a family, build my homestead on the ridge, have a wonderful wife who can both support and critique as
needed - and of course, pour my soul into Fred the GTX!

Despite all the trevails, I stand today a blessed man and I damn well know it.
 
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