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Let's post some fun stuff here

An 85-year-old man went in for his routine physical, and the doctor handed him a small jar.
“Take this home,” the doctor said, “and bring back a sperm sample tomorrow.”
The next day, the man came back with the jar — completely empty and spotless.
The doctor raised an eyebrow. “What happened?”
The old man sighed. “Well, Doc, I tried with my right hand… nothing. Then my left hand… still nothing. So I asked my wife for help. She tried with both hands, then her mouth — first with her teeth in, then without — but no luck. So we even called our neighbor Arleen. She tried with her hands, her armpit, and even between her knees, but still nothing.”
The doctor, horrified, said, “You asked your neighbor to help?”
The old man shrugged and said, “Yep… none of us could get the damn jar open!”

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Tom
 
AI? Maybe maybe not. That's a fisheye lens, distorts the image. Think I see a driveway across the street but not sure.
 
Looks like the driveway might "snake" from far right.
 
Cute observations
My wife wants me to wear a bracelet that belonged to her grandfather. It says "Do Not Resuscitate."

It's been months since I bought the book, How To Scam People On Line. It still hasn't arrived yet.

If you have a red wine stain on your carpet, get some white wine and drink it until you don't care anymore.

One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.

Even rarer than a doctor who can't stand the sight of blood is a lawyer who can't stand the sight of money.

If your palm itches, you are going to get something. If your crotch itches, you've already got it.

My wife and I decided to never go to bed angry. We've been awake since Tuesday.

My wife said: "That's the 4th time you've gone back for dessert! Doesn't it embarrass you?" I said: "No, I keep telling them it's for you."

My wife and I started role-playing in the bedroom. Her favourite is The Sexy Librarian, where I have to sit quietly while she reads a book

Being old is when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go too.

I now know how it will all end for me, one of my kids will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

At a wedding reception, someone yelled: "All married people, please stand next to the one person that has made your life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed to death.

I met my wife at a single's night. I was surprised because I thought she was home with the kids.

I want someone I can share my entire life with who will leave me alone most of the time.

Yesterday I bought a world map, gave my wife a dart, and said, "Throw this and wherever it lands, I will take you on vacation." We're spending 3 weeks behind the fridge.
 
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