Anger Management

[1 Wild R/T]

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out
on
someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten
to
make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying
"Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right number,
you
idiot!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number
to
call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're the idiot!" and
hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'idiot' next to it,
and
put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying
bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an
idiot!" and then hang up. It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'idiot'
calling
would have to stop. So, I called his number and (disguising my voice
and making up a name) said, "Hi, this is John Smith from AT&T. I'm
calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
and said, "That's because you're an idiot!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign
in
his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first idiot (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW idiot,
too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes,
it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said,
"Yes,
I live at 34 Oak Tree Blvd. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked
right out in front." I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name
is
Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He
said, "I'm home every evening after five." I said, "Listen, Don, can
I
tell you something?" He said, "Yes?" I said, "Don, you're an idiot!"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now,
when I
had a problem, I had two idiots to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called Idiot #1. He said, "Hello." I
said, "You're an idiot!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you
still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I
said,
"Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Idiot, I live at 34 Oak
Tree Blvd. It's a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in
front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, idiot,"
and hung up.

Then I called Idiot #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, idiot,"
He
yelled, "If I ever find out who you are ..." I interrupted and said,
"You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your head in!" I answered,
"Well, idiot, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now!" Then I
hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34
Oak
Tree Blvd. and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oak Tree
Blvd.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Oak Tree Blvd. I got
there
just in time to watch two idiots beating the fool out of each other in
front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works.