roadrunnerman
Well-Known Member
The following are actual court reporter statements made by attorneys and witnesses that are compiled in a book called "DISORDER IN THE COURT"
Attorney; What was the first thing your husband said to you this morning?
Witness; He said " Where am I Cathy?"
Attorney; And why did that upset you?
Witness; My name is Susan.
*
Attorney; What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
Witness; Gucci sweats and reeboks.
*
Attorney; Are you sexually active?
Witness; No, I just lie there.
*
Attorney; What is your date of birth?
Witness; July 18th
Attorney; What year?
Witness; Every year.
*
Attorney; How old is your son, the one living with you?
Witness; 35 or 38, I can't remember which.
Attorney; How long has he been living with you?
Witness; 45 years
*
Attorney; This Myasthemio Gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Witness; Yes.
Attorney; And in what way does it affect your memory?
Witness; I forget
Attorney; You forgot? Can you give me an example of something you forgot?
*
Attorney; The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?
Witness; He's 20, much like your IQ.
*
Attorney; Were you present when your picture was taken?
Witness; Are you shitting me?
*
Attorney; So, the date of conception (of the baby) was august 8th?
Witness; Yes.
Attorney; And what were you doing at that time?
Witness; Getting laid.
*
Attorney; She had 3 children, right?
Witness; Yes.
Attorney; How many were boys?
Witness; None.
Attorney; Were there any girls?
Witness; Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a different attorney?
*
Attorney; How was your last marriage terminated?
Witness; By death.
Attorney; And by whose death was it terminated?
Witness; Take a guess.
*
Attorney; Can you describe the individual?
Witness; He was about medium height and had a beard.
Attorney; Was this a male or female?
Witness; Unless the circus was in town, I'm going with male.
*
Attorney; Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your lawyer this morning?
Witness; No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
*
Attorney; Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Witness; All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
*
Attorney; ALL your responses MUST be oral,ok? What school did you go to?
Witness; Oral.
*
Attorney; Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Witness; The autopsy was started around 8:30 pm.
Attorney; And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
Witness; If not, he was by the time I finished.
*
Attorney; Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Witness; Are you qualified to ask that question?
*
The last one I have.
*
Attorney; Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness; No.
Attorney; Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness; No.
Attorney; Did you check for breathing?
Witness; No.
Attorney; So, then is it possible the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness; No.
Attorney; How can you be so sure, doctor?
Witness; Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Attorney; I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
Witness; Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Attorney; What was the first thing your husband said to you this morning?
Witness; He said " Where am I Cathy?"
Attorney; And why did that upset you?
Witness; My name is Susan.
*
Attorney; What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
Witness; Gucci sweats and reeboks.
*
Attorney; Are you sexually active?
Witness; No, I just lie there.
*
Attorney; What is your date of birth?
Witness; July 18th
Attorney; What year?
Witness; Every year.
*
Attorney; How old is your son, the one living with you?
Witness; 35 or 38, I can't remember which.
Attorney; How long has he been living with you?
Witness; 45 years
*
Attorney; This Myasthemio Gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Witness; Yes.
Attorney; And in what way does it affect your memory?
Witness; I forget
Attorney; You forgot? Can you give me an example of something you forgot?
*
Attorney; The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?
Witness; He's 20, much like your IQ.
*
Attorney; Were you present when your picture was taken?
Witness; Are you shitting me?
*
Attorney; So, the date of conception (of the baby) was august 8th?
Witness; Yes.
Attorney; And what were you doing at that time?
Witness; Getting laid.
*
Attorney; She had 3 children, right?
Witness; Yes.
Attorney; How many were boys?
Witness; None.
Attorney; Were there any girls?
Witness; Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a different attorney?
*
Attorney; How was your last marriage terminated?
Witness; By death.
Attorney; And by whose death was it terminated?
Witness; Take a guess.
*
Attorney; Can you describe the individual?
Witness; He was about medium height and had a beard.
Attorney; Was this a male or female?
Witness; Unless the circus was in town, I'm going with male.
*
Attorney; Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your lawyer this morning?
Witness; No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
*
Attorney; Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Witness; All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
*
Attorney; ALL your responses MUST be oral,ok? What school did you go to?
Witness; Oral.
*
Attorney; Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Witness; The autopsy was started around 8:30 pm.
Attorney; And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
Witness; If not, he was by the time I finished.
*
Attorney; Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Witness; Are you qualified to ask that question?
*
The last one I have.
*
Attorney; Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness; No.
Attorney; Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness; No.
Attorney; Did you check for breathing?
Witness; No.
Attorney; So, then is it possible the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness; No.
Attorney; How can you be so sure, doctor?
Witness; Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Attorney; I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
Witness; Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
