Do you dread family gatherings?

[Kern Dog]

The acceptance of a declared gay or lesbian family member is not easy. Some strongly feel that they are deviants, perverts and freaks. Me? I used to feel that way but over time, I have changed. I do not think these people choose to feel that way any more than I choose to be attracted to women. It sounds strange but consider this....I hate beer but others just love it. I hate seafood, others love it. THey cannot understand why I hate that stuff, I cannot understand why they LOVE it. THey must feel the same attraction as I do, just not toward the opposite sex. Yeah, it is hard to imagine but this is what I have come to believe.
My older brother was openly gay but did not force his lifestyle on people. He lived his life, bothered nobody and was not an embarrassment to himself. He had "friends" at family gatherings but they never flaunted their feelings, they never showed any signs of affection.

 

[coronet68mx]

I was born January 4hth 1976 and my sister December 18th also 1976 so am only 11 months older than her (or she please corrected me if i wrote it wrong ) but I agree with you Greg she born that way and it's no surprise to me when she declared , why ? she NEVER not even when we were kids play with dolls , use dresses, she never use my mom's heels as toys, she always have male friend and use short hair so , she is not a freak or a deviant just like girls and born that way my mom saw that too and she said she is her daughter and no matter what my mom love her, and despite all my differences with my sister it require a lots off balls to declare lesbian so all my respect to her

 

[Pops1967GTX]

It never fails, that someone ....​

 

[ZR9B]

I'm from a family of 8....all of us but 1 has at least 2 kids some 3 some 4. 2 brothers live out of state so we don't see them. Parents are long gone. I have nefews and neices all over the place. My sister's do all the cooking and I enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners alot . My brother in law's always have the good booze. This is the first year since I don't know when almost all of us backed out for one reason or another. I stayed home and cooked 4 Porter house steak's with all the fixings. I can't say I miss the big gathering but it was different for sure! Now for the good booze!

 

[68sprtsat383]

Holidays are not the same since my mom passed 6yrs ago. My family doesn't get together for nothing anymore. My wife and I just do our own thing or hang out with her family.

 

[GetX'd]

I come from a large family. Nine kids then Mom and Dad. Parents are both gone and I’ve lost 3of my brothers. Two of them I was very close to, the third just passed a couple of months ago -very unexpectedly. The other two passed at the young ages of 31 and 40 something. I still miss them a great deal. Since my Mom passed things haven’t been the same although my sister does a good job of trying to keep everyone together. She has the family house so the gathering place is the same. A lot of the cousins and nieces and nephews come and even though I live out of state I’ve done a pretty good job of keeping relationships with the young ones. The siblings are a mixed bag. We all get together on Christmas and have a pretty good time. We all still come home for the holidays like when my Mom was alive. Without any kids of my own and a wife that’s an immigrant from where they don’t celebrate holidays - it would be pretty lonely if I didn’t go back home for Christmas. Thanksgiving is a barren holiday for me. The wife is a nurse and works so I’m on my own watching football and having a self made Cornish Game Hen. Been that way for years. I don’t really care for the holidays but for the most part enjoy the family gatherings. They’re getting a bit scaled down now,that people are passing. Sad part of life tht feels like it goes on for a lifetime because of the big family, early losses, mid life losses and now the later in life losses. Seems like the holidays emphasize those losses. Sad part is we know there are more to come. Life is short -try to enjoy things while we can and thank the good Lord for all we have.

 

[WileERobby]

The acceptance of a declared gay or lesbian family member is not easy. Some strongly feel that they are deviants, perverts and freaks. Me? I used to feel that way but over time, I have changed. I do not think these people choose to feel that way any more than I choose to be attracted to women. It sounds strange but consider this....I hate beer but others just love it. I hate seafood, others love it. THey cannot understand why I hate that stuff, I cannot understand why they LOVE it. THey must feel the same attraction as I do, just not toward the opposite sex. Yeah, it is hard to imagine but this is what I have come to believe.
My older brother was openly gay but did not force his lifestyle on people. He lived his life, bothered nobody and was not an embarrassment to himself. He had "friends" at family gatherings but they never flaunted their feelings, they never showed any signs of affection.

Excellent comment, very well stated. We have a gay couple in our extended family, they've attended gatherings, occasions, etc and those guys are the best people you could know. All the family loves them, nobody cares. It's not "what" you are, it's how you act. A person can be an asshole, no matter what their sexual preference is. I like the analogy you give, I feel the same way. To each, his own. I love and respect them because they're good people. And, I love beer and seafood !!!

 

[747mopar]

Had a great Thanksgiving! My brother in law and I after eating rounded up the kids and went hiking, little did I know what was only a few miles away! This place was incredible, I was in awe trying to visualize what it once was? First we come up on a lock (lot's of old canals in my area) then walk through a train tunnel chiseled through solid rock.. super cool! Next we end up on a cliff ovetlooking the river and I mean waaaay up, made me nervous it was so high! We work our way down and towards the bottom it appears to be a loading area all built from stone on the riverside and still has some of the solid steel rails partially in tact with 1930's dates carved in stone. It appears that it may have been a pretty major transport hub with a lock, river loading dock and the train all intersecting? Very neat 3 mile hike!

 

[Dennis H]

Had a good Thanksgiving at a neighbors house. 12 people, some of them family of the host. My elderly parents are in Florida, and I would have really enjoyed being with them. Warm in San Jose, ran the ac all day. Not sure if I passed the social encounter test. Politics came up, but I stayed out. No booze due to working that night. If I talk -it's too much. Or too loud. If not, then Linda comments that I'm being quiet. I wish she'd just ignore me.

 

[BeeKool]

Only immediate family so things were good.
Any political talk mirrored what we talk about here on fbbo.

Enough leftovers to feed me for a week

 

[Speedbird]

I didn't notice the mention of children until the second page.
Post 33 confirmed what I suspected from the OP; no descendants.
I suppose that can leave a hole.

(Insert dramatic pause here)

Being a patriarch is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
Stay young in heart.

(Another pause here)


Nice hole in the rock.
Nice day out with the kids in God's creation and man's handiwork.
Was that in Ohio?
Near Cleveland by any chance?

 

[Speedbird]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Had a great Thanksgiving! My brother in law and I after eating rounded up the kids and went hiking, little did I know what was only a few miles away! This place was incredible, I was in awe trying to visualize what it once was? First we come up on a lock (lot's of old canals in my area) then walk through a train tunnel chiseled through solid rock.. super cool! Next we end up on a cliff ovetlooking the river and I mean waaaay up, made me nervous it was so high! We work our way down and towards the bottom it appears to be a loading area all built from stone on the riverside and still has some of the solid steel rails partially in tact with 1930's dates carved in stone. It appears that it may have been a pretty major transport hub with a lock, river loading dock and the train all intersecting? Very neat 3 mile hike!View attachment 542894 View attachment 542895 View attachment 542893 View attachment 542892 View attachment 542887

 

[Dennis H]

Ah, the kids. They are back East. We moved 3000 miles to escape from the kids. And, their crappy boyfriends and sperm donors. They are middle aged now. They are still in the house. It is by no means an income prorperty.

 

[747mopar]

I didn't notice the mention of children until the second page.
Post 33 confirmed what I suspected from the OP; no descendants.
I suppose that can leave a hole.

(Insert dramatic pause here)

Being a patriarch is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
Stay young in heart.

(Another pause here)


Nice hole in the rock.
Nice day out with the kids in God's creation and man's handiwork.
Was that in Ohio?
Near Cleveland by any chance?

It's near Frazeysburg Ohio.. Without kids I wouldn't care one way or the other, I dread them growing up!

 

[steve from staten island]

It's near Frazeysburg Ohio.. Without kids I wouldn't care one way or the other, I dread them growing up!

But then you get grandchildren (with the grace of God)and it makes having your own kids worthwhile LOL!!

 

[themechanic]

Is it just me or is this thread extremely depressing? I love my family and like to attend family gatherings when I am able. However, due to migraine headaches I miss most of them. Over the last twenty years I have gotten used to spending my holidays alone. And, if you've ever had a headache you will know what a blessing this is to be somewhere quiet. Yesterday, only my oldest sister called to see if I was coming for Thanksgiving. I used to "call in sick" but by now they all know why if I'm not there. My good friend Justin in Texas texted me well wishes, too.

I have a very large family that gets larger every year. Dad went to heaven in 1994. Mom will be 79 and still strong in a few weeks. There are currently four generations represented and we are only a few years from the possibility of a fifth. My three sisters used to hold the gatherings until this year my middle sister's son, who got a new job and larger home, took charge. My daughter had my ex-wife over for dinner. She appreciates that I would rather not share a meal with her mother. I will try to make the trip for leftovers this weekend.

One may be thankful to God, which is what the holiday is set aside for, with or without family, with or without turkey and dressing, with or without (fill in the blank). But first, one needs a heart filled with gratitude and knowledge of where the blessings come from. I have gone weeks without a shower (in desert training). I now give thanks for every shower. I have learned that no matter where I am to bow my head and pray and give thanks for every meal. Just a few weeks ago a couple in their 60s came over to the table where my aunt and uncle and I were sharing a meal and thanked us for praying. The lady said, "you just don't see people do that in public anymore". There are a lot of things to be thankful for if you look for them. Lots of little things you take for granted daily.

So, I urge all of you to think about what you take for granted; car starts every time, check clears the bank, test results are good, whatever it may be and begin to give thanks every day not just on Thanksgiving Day.

In every thing give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus in regard to you. I Thessalonians 5:18

 

[Kern Dog]

Our Thanksgiving was split this year. One person requested that we have it on two separate days so she could spend the actual Thanksgiving with her fiances family. I was annoyed at first since but instead, just four of us got together HERE at my place yesterday. It was a nice time being a smaller group. Everyone had a voice, everyone got to listen, none of the 17 people talking at once stuff. Today is Thanksgiving 2.0 though. I am tempted to skip it but that would cause some animosity.

 

[mmissile]

Me, my wife, and the dogs. That's our pack. I'm not a holiday-person, and would rather things were like any other day. My wife likes to put up decorations for the different holidays. I just smile and play along.

 

[Bladecutter]

I like Christmas lights, anytime, especially Blue & Green.
I used to love the Thanksgiving & X-mas holidays,,,now it's the season of greed & it taints my love

 

[Pops1967GTX]