Hypothetical Question

[BeepBeepRR]

Scenario.

Oldest kid from wife's previous marriage wants to go to a wedding for his half brother. But the caveat is that he has to pick up his biological father due to a self inflicted bout of the shakes "DT's" from detoxing and he cant drive. Son wants to borrow step fathers car to go to the wedding and pick up his bio father. Should the step father allow for the stepson to pick up his biological father in his vehicle. Or is the stepfather being a complete asshole for not wanting that dude in his car that he paid for.

The mother thinks he (the step father)) being a selfish asshole and is currently mad at him for not allowing this to happen. Step son allowed the insurance to lapse on his car that the stepfather provided. Biological father couldn't be bothered to help out in any way to get a car for the kid. I say kid but the stepson is 34 years old.

So I guess the question is

What would you do in this situation?
Suck up the pride and let them ride?
Take the heat from the wife for denying this to happen. "She can only be mad for a little while right?"
Take the heat from the kid whom is pissed at you for not allowing him to use the car? "He can only be mad for a little while right?"

 

[dadsbee]

Life is too short and good wimmin are hard to find...

 

[Richard Cranium]

Will “Here Comes The Bride” be played on banjos?

 

[BeepBeepRR]

Will “Here Comes The Bride” be played on banjos?

lol.. Possibly we "I mean they" are in Georgia.

 

[RemCharger]

The stepfather can only be mad for a little while, right?
Be the bigger dude. Take the high road.

 

[davek]

Just let it happen for this wedding. Life is short. Step kids can be a PITA but there is a limit.

 

[69conv]

Uber

 

[Don selleck]

let it happen, it makes you a way better man than everyone already knows.

 

[moparsaver]

Let it be.

34……… Stepson needs to pay his own insurance.

 

[Triplegreen500]

So, stepson still has a stepfather-provided car, but no insurance to be able to drive it?

It sounds like a pattern, from the information in your original post...

If it were me? Hammer him on the insurance. If he can't/won't? Drive them yourself. We leave at XX hour, and I'll pick you up at YY hour. That way you aren't standing between him and the wedding (or his biodad), but you also aren't rewarding what appears (again - appears) to be a pattern of behavior.

Another question - biodad has DTs and can't drive. Does he have a car? Can't son drive that? Or do you just have a car that stepson wants to drive?

 

[khryslerkid]

Stepson has no insurance so he can't drive.

 

[Don selleck]

Ya no insurance is a deal killer didn't see that part, have to agree with triple green

 

[33 IMP]

A nineties K-car, okay. Winter beater on snow tires? Okay. Kid pays for one days insurance.
Your roadrunner? Not a chance in hell!
Stepson is 34, can't be bothered to buy his own car, can't be bothered to keep a GIFT car insured, but wants YOUR help, and YOUR car. (But not you driving it)
Not a f#@king chance!

Edit: sounds like the hypothetical mother cares more about her (apparently worthless) hypothetical son and the no-good drunk she dumped, than the hypothetical good man she's got now.

 

[ckessel]

I thought the Gerry Springer show ended.

 

[71RRHI]

My gut reaction at first was suck it up to keep the peace in the family. I'm talking about your wife and step son. Who cares what the other guy feels. But I can understand not wanting the other guy in your car.
The other option to consider is get the step son insurance for his car in his name. Most companies allow you to pay in installments. Make the first installment payment then tell the step son to be responsible and make the rest of the installments. If he does he has insurance. If he doesn't then he looses it, but the wedding will be over, and the wife will have no reason to be upset.

 

[BeepBeepRR]

The hypothetical stepfather got the stepson a car, it was told to him that he needed to retain a job and insurance. Stepfather was not going to pay for the stepsons insurance. Its a 2010 Chevy Cobalt just a cheap little beater. He moved away with some internet skank and then became jobless and has been jobless and doesn't care about getting his car back on the road. But yet he wants to borrow the stepfathers car to go pick up his worthless bio dad and go to the wedding. The Bio dad did absolutely nothing for the kid since he was 2 and a half years old. Quite frankly the hypothetical stepfather wouldn't give the guy 2 squirts of piss if he was on fire.

 

[BeepBeepRR]

My gut reaction at first was suck it to keep the peace in the family. I'm talking about your wife and step son. Who cares what the other guy feels. But I can understand not wanting the other guy in your car.
The other option to consider is get the step son insurance for his car in his name. Most companies allow you to pay in installments. Make the first installment payment then tell the step son to be responsible and make the rest of the installments. If he does he has insurance. If he doesn't then he looses it, but the wedding will be over, and the wife will have no reason to be upset.

Hes 34 years old pretty sure he should be paying his own damn way lol. Stepdad can't and shouldn't keep paying for his kids until they outlive him. Stepdad has 2 biological kids that both work and pay their bills. One is paying her own way through school and has 2 jobs. The other has a 40 hour a week job and goes to it every day. But the oldest stepson is not putting in any effort to further himself. NONE what so ever.

 

[BeepBeepRR]

So, stepson still has a stepfather-provided car, but no insurance to be able to drive it?

It sounds like a pattern, from the information in your original post...

If it were me? Hammer him on the insurance. If he can't/won't? Drive them yourself. We leave at XX hour, and I'll pick you up at YY hour. That way you aren't standing between him and the wedding (or his biodad), but you also aren't rewarding what appears (again - appears) to be a pattern of behavior.

Another question - biodad has DTs and can't drive. Does he have a car? Can't son drive that? Or do you just have a car that stepson wants to drive?

Biodad was brought down from KY to somewhere where stepson was supposed to pick him up from. I guess the answer is, that if he does have a vehicle its in KY.

 

[33 IMP]

Hes 34 years old pretty sure he should be paying his own damn way lol. Stepdad can't and shouldn't keep paying for his kids until they outlive him. Stepdad has 2 biological kids that both work and pay their bills. One is paying her own way through school and has 2 jobs. The other has a 40 hour a week job and goes to it every day. But the oldest stepson is not putting in any effort to further himself. NONE what so ever.

Zero hypothetical effort? Zero hypothetical help, in ANY way.
Let whoever brought hypothetical bio-drunk from Kentucky take him to the hypothetical wedding.

 

[71RRHI]

I'm a step father also, so I get it. Fortunately I don't have the hyperthetical problems like you have. Third option is take your stepson to get a rental car in his name. But pay for it, and get the full insurance package so nothing comes back to you. You can also tell him that it's not a freebie, and He needs to pay you back. That way if he doesn't pay you back, next time you can remind the wife He still owes you from the the last time.
I agree at 34 the hypothetical step son needs to grow up and become a man and take care of himself. But remember he still your wife's son, women tend to be more emotional then logical in these types of situations, just trying to keep the peace.