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Let's post some fun stuff here
- Thread starter Snowtrooper1966
- Start date
A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son’s innocence, the mother turns around and says, “Don’t worry. That was an insect.” To which one of the boys replies, “I’m surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!”
HemiLane
Well-Known Member
bm02tj
Well-Known Member
WALMART DOCTOR
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Doug says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.“
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor." So, Doug deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart..
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Doug began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.
Doug hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Walmart
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Doug says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.“
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor." So, Doug deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart..
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Doug began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.
Doug hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Walmart
Three guys go on a ski trip together. When they get to the ski lodge there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, “Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job.” The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up and says that he’s had the same dream, too. The guy in the middle says, “Wow that’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing.”
In the morning Tom calls to his boss:
– Good morning, boss, unfortunately, I’m not coming to work today. I’m really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my both hands and legs hurt, so I’m not coming into work.”
The boss replies:
– You know Tom; I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that.
2 hours later Bob calls:
– Boss, I followed your advice, and I feel great! I’ll be at work soon. By the way, you got a nice house.
– Good morning, boss, unfortunately, I’m not coming to work today. I’m really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my both hands and legs hurt, so I’m not coming into work.”
The boss replies:
– You know Tom; I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that.
2 hours later Bob calls:
– Boss, I followed your advice, and I feel great! I’ll be at work soon. By the way, you got a nice house.
Photon440
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Photon440
Well-Known Member
- Local time
- 12:10 AM
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- 33,945
- Location
- Surrey, B.C. Canada
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