LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK:

[bm02tj]

LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK:

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's... farm, and we all

saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."


The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned

by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the

word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons

but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

 

[oldbee]

I for one, have missed the little bum!!!!

 

[Ranger16]

Go Johnny go, go... Johnny be bad. Gotta love 'Little Johnny".

 

[cryplydog]

Back where I came from as a kid they were called Johnny Fu*$er Fast jokes!

 

[Car Nut]

 

[kiwigtx]

 

[NJRR]

The teacher was going through the alphabet asking the students to say a word that starts with that letter.

She asked " who knows a word with the letter A ?"

Little Johnny is jumping up and down waving his hands but teacher knows he will say a bad word. She picks on Molly, Molly says apple, teacher says very good Molly.

She asked " who knows a word with the letter B ?"

Again, little Johnny is jumping up and down waving his hands but teacher knows he will say a bad word. She picks on Suzy, Suzy says ball, teacher says very good Suzy.

This goes on and on till the letter R. Nobody except Little Johnny is raising their hand. She wracks her brain but can't think of one bad word that begins with the letter R, so decides to give Johnny a chance. She picks on Johnny.

Little Johnny says " Rats teacher, big ******* rats !!!!!!

 

[Scott Engelhardt]

Teacher was asking student to use the same word in a sentence two times. The word was Fabulous. She called on Amy even though Johnie had his hand high. Amy said my mother threw a fabulous party and everyone had a fabulous time. Very good Amy, Johnie was going nuts but she called on Darla. My mother bought a fabulous new dress and she looked fabulous wearing it. Very good Darla. All the while the teacher was thinking there is no way he can screw this up, okay Johnie. Last night we were eating dinner and my older sister told dad she is pregnant, my dad said fabulous just f#@$% fabulous

 

[Xp29h]

Little Johnny sitting in class and the teacher announces its time to do a math problem. The teacher pipes up and asks, “if you have 3 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one bird, how many do you have left?” All kinds of hands go up including johnny’s. She thinks a bit and can’t come up with anything bad that little Johnny can say, so she calls on him.

Johnny proudly gives the answer, zero! The teacher asked him to explain. Johnny said, “if you shoot one bird off the fence, the bang from the gun would scare the rest away, leaving no birds on the fence.” The teacher says, “Johnny, I see where you went with this. The answer is 2. It wasn’t the answer I was looking for but I like the way you’re thinking”

Johnny then says, “I’ve got one for you.” The teacher agrees. Johnny says, “ if you’ve got three women sitting on the fence, one is licking a lollipop, one is sucking a lollipop and one is biting the lollipop, which one is married?” The teacher thinks for a second and replied “the one licking the lollipop.”

Johnny says, “nope the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you’re thinking!”

 

[Ranger16]

Gotta admit, I didn't see that one coming.