Little Johnny

[khryslerkid]

Teacher draws a picture on the blackboard of a fence with three crows on it and asks the class "If you took a gun and shot one crow off the fence, how many would be left?"

Little Johnny raises his hand and says "none teacher".

Teacher says " that's not right Johnny, why did you answer none?"

Johnny says "once the gun goes off, they would all fly away!".

Teacher says "Three take away one equals two. You take one away and there will be two left but I like the way you think".

Johnny says " I have one for you teacher!

If there are three wemon sitting on a park bench eating ice cream, one is licking hers, one is sucking hers and one is biting hers, which one is married?"

Teacher replies "I guess the one sucking hers".

"Wrong teacher, it's the one wearing a wedding ring but I like the way you think!"

 

[MarPar]

 

[Traintech55]

Figures you would like this one, so do I.

 

[Ranger16]

Little Johnny went trick or treating dressed like a pirate. He rang the doorbell and when the lady of the house saw him she asked "where are your buccaneers?". Johnny answered "Under my buk'n hat".

 

[oldbee]

LOL- every class right after lunch in boot camp when everyone was getting sleepy, you had to listen to Little Johnny to wake you back up.

 

[Car Nut]

 

[kiwigtx]

 

[kiwigtx]

 

[kiwigtx]

 

[GetX'd]

Little Johnny is always a classic...... hahaha

 

[khryslerkid]

Little Johnny is always a classic...... hahaha

I've been a "Little Johnny" all of my life!

When I was around ten, supposedly I had put the neighbors cat in their mailbox. My neighbor said you should have seen the look on the mail man's face the next morning when he opened the box!

She has never let me forget this and always says "here comes little Johnny who put the cat in my mailbox".

 

[MarPar]

Good ones Rog @kiwigtx

 

[khryslerkid]

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

 

[kiwigtx]

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

excellent!!!

 

[DeltaV]

Nowadays, there seems to be an apple supply of teachers ready and willing to oblige little Johnny.

 

[khryslerkid]

The teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multisyllabic words, class. Does anyone have an example of a multisyllabic word?"

Little Johnny waves his hand, "Me, teacher! Oh, me, me!"

The teacher smiles and says, "Alright, Johnny, what is your multisyllabic word?"

Little Johnny says, "Mas-tur-bate."

The teacher is taken aback, but she manages to smile and says, "Wow, Johnny, that's a mouthful."

Little Johnny says, "No, ma'am, you're thinking of a blow job. I'm talking about jerking off."

 

[oldbee]

LMAO!!!!!! Johnny was always polite.

 

[khryslerkid]

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.” “Of course it is.” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

 

[PP1RT]

LOL- every class right after lunch in boot camp when everyone was getting sleepy, you had to listen to Little Johnny to wake you back up.

Boot camp at Ft Dix we had a drill sergeant that would tell little johnny jokes at the end of the day. It gave us something to look forward to!!

 

[Ranger16]

Yup, basic & AIT is where I heard all the "little Johnny" jokes.

The teacher asked her class for words that rhymed with cats. Little Johnny was frantically waiving his hand, but she was too afraid to call on him for she knew better. She picked little Suzy and she said "bats". Little bobby said "mats". This went on until she ran out of children and little Johhny was still waving. She finally called on little Johnny and cringed as he gave his answer, "rats" he said with a big smile. The teacher exhaled and let out a sigh of relief..................................................just as Johnny said "yup, big ****'in rats".