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Oldie but a goodie...

MarPar

If it weighs, it pays
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A guy walks into the bedroom carrying a sheep in his arms and says, "Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."

The wife, laying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says, "If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."

The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous b!##h, you'd realize I was talking to the sheep." :rolling::rolling:
 
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