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Miss Moose Knuckle 1971?
You may be right. Dictionary.com says moose knuckle is the male equivalent of camel toe but, on occasion, moose knuckle will refer to an especially pronounced and noticeable camel toe. I would say that's probably appropriate in this case but my vote for Miss Moose Knuckle 1971 would go to Olivia Newton-John per this photo from 1971:

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Moose Knuckles is also a Canadian sportswear company.
 
Sounds like a saltwater flood victim.
That was my first thought. I know these companies don't normally even take a chance on this type of problem. I saw several train cars that rolled on their side full of new cars out back of our plant. They were just hanging in place with no visible damage. They were all scrapped, no questions asked. They were removed and crushed, run over with a bulldozer by an outside contractor, I watched it myself.
 
How does this work out? Prop chop?
Before synchronized guns with interrupters to prevent firing at the blades, early attempts put metal shields onto the propeller to deflect bullets. Unfortunately, there were some instances where the bullets bounced back and hit the pilot.
 
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