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The Man Rules

Car Nut

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The Man Rules

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear 'the rules'
From the female side

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!



1. Men are NOT mind readers.



1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down..
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.



1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.



1. Crying is blackmail.



1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!



1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.



1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.




1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.




1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.



1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one



1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.



1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.



1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.



1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.



1. If it itches, it will be scratched..
We do that.



1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.



1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.



1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.



1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports.



1. You have enough clothes.



1. You have too many shoes.



1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape !




Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.



But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
 
That is some funny stuff!!!!
 
Those are always good to circulate. The great thing is; we are "learning machines". I've learned that using the "button pushing phrases" on her, that she has used on me over the years, is a very effective tool.

Such as:

"Why are you being that way?"

"Don't be so curt and terse!" (I refer to them as The Twins, makes her even madder...)

"I'm just trying to have a conversation..."

And one of my favorites... "SERIOUSLY?"

The last weapon in my arsenal is mumbling. I've learned I draw out a response and change my original comment to better fit the situation and usually end up winning!

Because lets face it, as I have been reminded several times, "Marriage is not a competition." My response; " Really??Then why are you competing?"

Hahahahahaahaha!
 
Funny stuff!
 
that's some funny **** there !
 
Just read these rules to my wife. Her reply was are you trying to camp out the next few night's?
 
Funny Stuff! I've been looking for a reason to go camping. :icon_blackeye:
 
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