THE WAR OF 1812 AT WAL-MART

[cr8crshr]

Yesterday, I wore a Vietnam Veteran cap to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to "Wally World" to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I digress, enough of my psychological fixations.

While standing in line to check out, a younger guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?”
"No," I replied.

"Then why are you wearing that cap?”
"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812....” I thought it was a snappy retort.

"The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?”
God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity.
"1946", I answered, as straight-faced as possible.

He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1946?”
"It was a Black Op Mission. No one is supposed to know about it.” This was beginning to become fun!

"Dude! Really?" He exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?”

I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission.”

"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?”
"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage.”
The moron nodded knowingly.

"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still classified 'Top Secret' and I shouldn't have said anything.”

"Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look. . "Like, what's gonna’ happen if I do?”
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family, don't you?
We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?”

The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door.

The lady behind me started laughing so hard I thought she was about to have a heart attack. I just grinned at her. After checking out and going to the parking lot, I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman.

Upon catching sight of me, he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.

And these people VOTE!

What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back, wearing my Homeland Security cap.

Then the next day I will go to the driver's license bureau wearing my Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty the place.

Whoever said retirement is boring? You just need to wear the right kind of cap!
See you guys at Wal-Mart!!cr8crshr/Bill

 

[toolmanmike]

Yesterday, I wore a Vietnam Veteran cap to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to "Wally World" to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I digress, enough of my psychological fixations.

While standing in line to check out, a younger guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?”
"No," I replied.

"Then why are you wearing that cap?”
"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812....” I thought it was a snappy retort.

"The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?”
God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity.
"1946", I answered, as straight-faced as possible.

He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1946?”
"It was a Black Op Mission. No one is supposed to know about it.” This was beginning to become fun!

"Dude! Really?" He exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?”

I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission.”

"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?”
"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage.”
The moron nodded knowingly.

"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still classified 'Top Secret' and I shouldn't have said anything.”

"Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look. . "Like, what's gonna’ happen if I do?”
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family, don't you?
We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?”

The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door.

The lady behind me started laughing so hard I thought she was about to have a heart attack. I just grinned at her. After checking out and going to the parking lot, I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman.

Upon catching sight of me, he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.

And these people VOTE!

What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back, wearing my Homeland Security cap.

Then the next day I will go to the driver's license bureau wearing my Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty the place.

Whoever said retirement is boring? You just need to wear the right kind of cap!
See you guys at Wal-Mart!!cr8crshr/Bill

 

[Jerry Hall]

Yesterday, I wore a Vietnam Veteran cap to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to "Wally World" to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I digress, enough of my psychological fixations.

While standing in line to check out, a younger guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?”
"No," I replied.

"Then why are you wearing that cap?”
"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812....” I thought it was a snappy retort.

"The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?”
God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity.
"1946", I answered, as straight-faced as possible.

He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1946?”
"It was a Black Op Mission. No one is supposed to know about it.” This was beginning to become fun!

"Dude! Really?" He exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?”

I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission.”

"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?”
"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage.”
The moron nodded knowingly.

"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still classified 'Top Secret' and I shouldn't have said anything.”

"Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look. . "Like, what's gonna’ happen if I do?”
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family, don't you?
We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?”

The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door.

The lady behind me started laughing so hard I thought she was about to have a heart attack. I just grinned at her. After checking out and going to the parking lot, I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman.

Upon catching sight of me, he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.

And these people VOTE!

What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back, wearing my Homeland Security cap.

Then the next day I will go to the driver's license bureau wearing my Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty the place.

Whoever said retirement is boring? You just need to wear the right kind of cap!
See you guys at Wal-Mart!!cr8crshr/Bill

My buddy just got banned from Walmart for 30 days, by the store manager. A conflict over not getting his change at the self checkout.

 

[BAFRAID]

So awesome!!!!

 

[Dibbons]

Reminds me of the time I apprehended an illegal alien in El Paso, Texas who was wearing a California Highway Patrol Cap. Coincidently, I was a CHP officer in South Los Angeles before being hired by the U.S. Border Patrol.

 

[BeepBeepRR]

My old company initials were LCE and that was the company logo. The letters were slanted each letter a little lower that the other. Anyhow, My boss sent me out to a job to get an assessment of the existing electrical installation. So I pull up to the front office and make myself known and was told to go and do whatever I needed to do. This place was a window and door manufacturer. I go through each metal building with a clipboard and camera to document what equipment is in what building. There were maybe 15 to 25 Spanish people in total throughout the buildings. I make it to the last building and turn around an go back through each building just to recheck that I have everything correct.. WOW ghost town... I was thinking maybe its lunch.. Nope it was 10:30ish. Just weird that it was busy 5 minutes prior to me returning. Anyhow, I got to thinking that they might have thought my shirt said ICE.. Also had a Kroger store Meat dept head come out and bitch at me. I was like why are you being like that.. He said I ran off all his workers... I was like its not my fault they cant read.

 

[Dibbons]

I boarded a farm labor bus one morning and asked everyone for citizenship or immigration documents. One of the passengers just looked down as I approached him and he said "Soy Mojado". Translated as "I'm a wetback". I couldn't believe he called himself that. Anyway, I gave him a free ride back to Mexico (lol).

 

[gkent]

Some day, when you've kicked out all the illegals and a grape costs a week's salary, think back to these days - when all they wanted was a better life.

 

[DeltaV]

By then we'll have annexed both Mexico and Canada for a United North America.

 

[toolmanmike]

Some day, when you've kicked out all the illegals and a grape costs a week's salary, think back to these days - when all they wanted was a better life.

I have to agree. We have a pork packing plant in town. The Hispanics (and many other folks) work there. They work their tails off doing a job that even the local black population won't do. I love to go to the store and pick up pork chops for the grill, butt's for the smoker and bacon for my BLT's for a dollar or so a pound. Generally we are a Wal Mart society and have created slave labor to make it happen.

 

[Roger63]

I like going to Walmart during the 2 weeks prior to Christmas. Walking slowly through the isles the wrong way. Always taking time to make sure I wish everyone I run into a very annoying merry Christmas. My daughter went with me once 10 years ago. She had so much fun she is teaching my grandkids how to do it.

 

[gkent]

By then we'll have annexed both Mexico and Canada for a United North America

Sorry if I digress BUT ...

Good luck with that! Most Canadians would rather slit their own throat than become American. Its getting to the point where even your southern warm weather isn't attractive any more with all the **** you have going on down there. You need to get a handle on the people you have before you consider taking on any more! And the way you guys are dealing with this whole Covid thing ... it'll be years before tourism is anything like it was. Your leader can do whatever he wants about opening "your" borders but he can't make people come.

 

[Slap Stick]

Some day, when you've kicked out all the illegals and a grape costs a week's salary, think back to these days - when all they wanted was a better life.

Then you house and support them.
In fact, I think I will stay at your house from now on. After all, I'm looking for a better life.

 

[Jerry Hall]

Sorry if I digress BUT ...

Good luck with that! Most Canadians would rather slit their own throat than become American. Its getting to the point where even your southern warm weather isn't attractive any more with all the **** you have going on down there. You need to get a handle on the people you have before you consider taking on any more! And the way you guys are dealing with this whole Covid thing ... it'll be years before tourism is anything like it was. Your leader can do whatever he wants about opening "your" borders but he can't make people come.

I know several Canadians with dual citizenship. They come back to America for decent healthcare. I don't know how it's works right now with the border closed.

 

[cr8crshr]

Come on now!!! You guys are starting to Hijack my post. Get the FOOK back on point will ya??? cr8crshr/Bill

 

[MarPar]

Yesterday, I wore a Vietnam Veteran cap to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to "Wally World" to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I digress, enough of my psychological fixations.

While standing in line to check out, a younger guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?”
"No," I replied.

"Then why are you wearing that cap?”
"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812....” I thought it was a snappy retort.

"The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?”
God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity.
"1946", I answered, as straight-faced as possible.

He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1946?”
"It was a Black Op Mission. No one is supposed to know about it.” This was beginning to become fun!

"Dude! Really?" He exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?”

I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission.”

"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?”
"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage.”
The moron nodded knowingly.

"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still classified 'Top Secret' and I shouldn't have said anything.”

"Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look. . "Like, what's gonna’ happen if I do?”
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family, don't you?
We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?”

The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door.

The lady behind me started laughing so hard I thought she was about to have a heart attack. I just grinned at her. After checking out and going to the parking lot, I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman.

Upon catching sight of me, he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.

And these people VOTE!

What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back, wearing my Homeland Security cap.

Then the next day I will go to the driver's license bureau wearing my Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty the place.

Whoever said retirement is boring? You just need to wear the right kind of cap!
See you guys at Wal-Mart!!cr8crshr/Bill

FOOKING priceless!!!

 

[69a100]

Come on now!!! You guys are starting to Hijack my post. Get the FOOK back on point will ya??? cr8crshr/Bill

It's sad commentary when a Mod has to add fuel to the fire for something that's in the funnies section! He should know better then that!

 

[Slap Stick]

I get worried for our country after visiting Wally's.
I am reminded there are people like that all over...and they reproduce...rapidly.

 

[Bb70charger500]

I hate going to Walmart!
The stupidity is real!