2 Part Question/Who wears the pants in the relationship

[steve from staten island]

My wife seldom calls me when I'm not home unless its important. I call her more often to make sure she is feeling all right and does not need anything. As far as just talking we do that when were at home. In the early years when the kids were young my wife wore her sisters hand me downs and before she'd buy something for herself she would spend it on something the kids needed. She put all of us before herself. She was never a push over or took a back seat to me and i didn't to her. We both worked to a common goal and we achieved it. She is not into cars yet she does not stop me from fooling around with them.
The result of all this is i don't do much for myself as i do for her first. She never asked for much years back so now i get her whatever makes her happy. She is very fussy with the house and wants it a certain way. Its not a big or fancy house but i do again i do what makes her happy. The end result is our children grew up to understand what mutual respect was all about. My daughter grew up to understand that she could accomplish anything and be anything she wanted and she did just that. No one should dominate another in a marriage. Today many think marriages have to be 50/50. That may be true but at times they can be 90/10 or whatever. Ask me how i know

 

[Habib]

My wife seldom calls me when I'm not home unless its important. I call her more often to make sure she is feeling all right and does not need anything. As far as just talking we do that when were at home. In the early years when the kids were young my wife wore her sisters hand me downs and before she'd buy something for herself she would spend it on something the kids needed. She put all of us before herself. She was never a push over or took a back seat to me and i didn't to her. We both worked to a common goal and we achieved it. She is not into cars yet she does not stop me from fooling around with them.
The result of all this is i don't do much for myself as i do for her first. She never asked for much years back so now i get her whatever makes her happy. She is very fussy with the house and wants it a certain way. Its not a big or fancy house but i do again i do what makes her happy. The end result is our children grew up to understand what mutual respect was all about. My daughter grew up to understand that she could accomplish anything and be anything she wanted and she did just that. No one should dominate another in a marriage. Today many think marriages have to be 50/50. That may be true but at times they can be 90/10 or whatever. Ask me how i know

Sounds like you got a great wife there Steve when a man finds the rite women nothing is more divine im sure you are very grateful

 

[rumblefish360]

A bit late for the question...

I (The King) rule the house.

The wife, the Queen runs the house.

The Queen never bothers the King for anything unless there is a problem that needs the Kings input.

The King has full faith in the Queen to do what needs to be done.
She has car blanch. And it is never abused.

IF the King has to get his *** up and off the throne for anything, 99% of the time it is due to the Queen being disrespected in some way.

Head end up rolling. Police end up involved. Arrests can be made. But in the end, the Queen becomes HIGHLY RESPECTED by the previous offender who doesn't make that mistake ever again.

The wife will call on a rare occasion to ether remind me of Kingly duties or seek help. The latter is rare. Twice in 26 years IIRC.
Reminding the King is a "As needed basis issue" only.

This description is one we laughed at when I first came up with it and she agreed with it. Toasted our wine glasses to it and laughed some more.
It is agreed it isn't who is boss superior but how the ship is run. Equal respect is given. No fuss is made.

It is a lot like a biz. The owner may have the final word but would be a foolish owner by not listening to the manager who runs the shop 18 hours a day knowing the biz in and out.

Yesterday was my anniversary. Married since '89.
While there's a few things I'd do different in my life, she is not one of them.
No way! No how! How many wife's help you assemble engines and install transmissions or finish up a brake job for you when your throwing up your guts in the can? And then have everything else set up and finished for you?

This castle is a fine running machine thanks to the Queen.

 

[Bruzilla]

I was an AW in the Navy, which was a group that at the time had the highest divorce rate in the Navy, and the Navy had the highest divorce rate in the military, the military had the highest divorce rate in America, and America had the highest divorce rate in the world, so I was right at the peak of the bad relationship mountain. What I saw was husbands or wives who were henpecked were usually henpecked for a good reason.

If someone's calling someone multiple times a day, it's usually because they have to. If a spouse is constantly checking up on their significant other, it's most often because said other has given the spouse a reason to constantly check up on them. We rarely ever get the full story as to what the source of the distrust is, but I can say every time I've heard someone complain about a nagging spouse who nags "for no good reason", eventually I'll hear the old "well, there was this time that I..." confession at some point.

 

[Bladecutter]

No Honey-Dues.....no problems......i play with machinery, not house.......only Woman i cow to is long long passed away....Bettie Frances Bridgewater Stevens....my Mother, who was ripped from this life by a rapist in 1969, 5 months after i soloed on my 16th.....Coroner said He had never autopsied a Victim Who had fought as hard....to the end.....what pulled me away from aviation and into the big CIA experiment in San Francisco.....even non-conformists are conditioned

Got back to Birds in 1992 in LA basin...sanded and polished a LOT of airworthy props while it was still legal...FAR's changed about 2002, banning natural finishes on propellers.

 

[64BEL]

Well lets see here..... been together 35 years... I bought our home before she even saw it. Bought other property, homes, and an apt building, didn't ask just got the job done. I rarely get a call. Go check on out of state investments yearly w/o issue. My laundry is done, she wants to go to dinner we go. She wants a BIG party in Vegas to celebrate our 35 years later this year. She's got it! Draw your own conclusion................

From our brief visit together last August, it seemed to me that you two are a nice, mellow couple who have the married thing down, Chris.

 

[67GTX440]

I want to hear from the guys who who thought they were in charge and then found out otherwise by way of their wife's divorce attorney. Some wives don't call because they don't give a **** about what their husband does and are taking the opportunity when he gone to sleep with one of his buddies, his brother, the UPS man, etc.

Marriage is a partnership and anyone who has to boast that "they rule the roost" protests too much as Shakespeare would say. If your wife is not a serious intellectual, financial and strategic partner in your relationship, why not just hire a hooker, housekeeper and babysitter when needed. If she can't fulfill the decision making roles, what is going to happen to her and your kids when you are gone?

I seriously doubt that anyone who claims to be in charge is sharing this link with their spouse. That might be the true test of the status of the relationship at home.

Just my two cents worth, but I have been happily married for 37 years. My wife calls me when she needs my input and I call her when I need hers. This is not often, because we talk about these things when we are home together.

This is about the dumbest poll I have ever seen posted on this site. When I read it I picture a gorilla pounding it's chest, right before it pulls its finger from its ***, smells it, and falls over backwards. LOL

 

[Canyon707]

I am the lucky guy. She says she is. 50 years married and still in love. She always told me that guys have the best toys. loves cars. She is not to much into going to the races with me but 100% supports it. She thinks its good for me to have a guy day.

 

[MarPar]

not married, but live together for over a year and together for more than 2.

I get texts from her all day, but not to henpeck or check up on me. usually it is to cheer me up or make me laugh as a stress relief. (I own my own small biz)

she's a car girl. loves to help me work on the MoPars and loves to go for rides in them. as a matter of fact, when I fire up the GTX, she gets this big olde ****-eatin grin on her face and giggles like a school girl. can't beat that!

oh, and she knows how to cook. really damn well!! lol

 

[Bladecutter]

OK.....now i feel bad....i apologize to anybody thinking i was putting Marriage down......i'm not, i'm just being a smart ***, just my life worked into being single.....A Woman that would get under a car w/ me and have the Heart to roll around in the dust and break fingernails...and just get init.....always been a Hope Smiles....Stay Streamlined

 

[MarPar]

OK.....now i feel bad....i apologize to anybody thinking i was putting Marriage down......i'm not, i'm just being a smart ***, just my life worked into being single.....A Woman that would get under a car w/ me and have the Heart to roll around in the dust and break fingernails...and just get init.....always been a Hope Smiles....Stay Streamlined

Keep up hope brother!!! Hope is a wonderful thing!!

 

[Gpuller]

I get texts from her all day...

Sexting is cool, but you gotta watch out who might see the pics. LOL

 

[MarPar]

Sexting is cool, but you gotta watch out who might see the pics. LOL

lol ya, no chit!