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When You’re Over Sixty...

cr8crshr

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:hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2::hello2:

I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business. This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kind’a cute. You gotta phone number?"

I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"

She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".

I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."

Cost me 6 stitches...but, when you’re over sixty................who cares?

**********

Cowboy:
"Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."

Lady Cashier:
"Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"

Cowboy:
"Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....."

When you’re over sixty................who cares?

***********

I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”

I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”

Cost me a fat lip, but... When you’re over sixty................who cares?

***********

I was telling a woman in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.

"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"

I said, "Yesterday."

Cost me a kick in the nuts, but... When you’re over sixty................who cares?

***********

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

Cost me a bloody nose, but... When you’re over sixty................who cares?

***********

I went to the pub last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.

I said, "Good legs."

The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"

I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Cost me 6 more stitches, but... When you’re over sixty................who cares?
 
Great!
 
I'm nearly 65 and none of that has happened to me....yet. :D
 
Your not trying hard enough! lol
Oh yeah I have lol. I've just been able to run/move faster than them but I'm slowing down pretty quick :grin:

I am over 60, want to see my stiches?
I have a few myself but have been banged around more. Was just lucky enough to not get into too many sewing sessions.
 
I got a PLUM CRAZY -- when I'm over 60 --- I am on my way to 120 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See ya' in the rear view.......

- - - Updated - - -

Hey -- here's a hint for you guys over 60 ------ take 1/2 a Viagra -- it's not quite enough to give you a woody, but at least you don't piss on your shoes.....

Hey -- what do older women have between their breasts that younger women don't have???????????
Answer -- a belly button!!!!!!!!!! Warning -- do not picture this joke............

Hey -- one more hint for you guys over 60 ------ eat a lot of baked beans ---- a good fart can be almost as good as sex -- and it's not a 30-year old memory!!!!!
 
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