RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE :
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays....
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas .....
3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back....
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So, I suggested the kitchen....
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops....
6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So, I bought her an electric chair....
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."....
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off....
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"...
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce....
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'....
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her....
13. The last fight was my fault though.My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"....
These were the good old days when humor didn't have to
start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words....
"God Bless" with a big smile on his face. : )
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays....
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas .....
3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back....
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So, I suggested the kitchen....
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops....
6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So, I bought her an electric chair....
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."....
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off....
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"...
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce....
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'....
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her....
13. The last fight was my fault though.My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"....
These were the good old days when humor didn't have to
start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words....
"God Bless" with a big smile on his face. : )
