Doesn't take much to make me happy.....or best of the one liners.

[Cranky]

Told my new friend that the littlest things make me happy so she took off her top......

 

[khryslerkid]

Told my new friend that the littlest things make me happy so she took off her top......

 

[khryslerkid]

She asked me what I had on that smelled so good? I said a hard on but I didn't think you could smell it.

 

[RemCharger]

Yesterday my father inlaw was told he hasn't changed a bit!
He said, you can smell my underwear from there??

 

[khryslerkid]

Old blind man walks into the fish market. Tips his hat and says "Morning Ladies!"

 

[69a100]

Told my new friend that the littlest things make me happy so she took off her top......

Is she a member or Prez of the "itty bitty titty committee"? LOL

 

[Dave6T4]

I went to my doctor for a check up. He said he needed a urine sample, a fecal sample, and a sperm sample, so I left him my underwear.

 

[iowaguy]

Had a little too much to drink last weekend. Went to bed with Shania Twain, woke up with Mark Twain.

 

[Cranky]

Had a little too much to drink last weekend. Went to bed with Shania Twain, woke up with Mark Twain.

I heard Iowa was kinda like that....

 

[Hey-O]

My IQ test results came back. They were negative. I thought, thank God!!

 

[Cheapsunglasses]

Is Buttcheeks one word, or should I spread them apart?

 

[kiwigtx]

Its better to have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

 

[1 Wild R/T]

What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?

A polar bear.


I never knew what happiness was until I got married

And then it was too late.


What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

Gifted.


Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners?

So brunettes can remember them.


Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

 

[Cheapsunglasses]

I once lived a stones throw away from a family that kept dying from mysterious injuries.

 

[Ron H]

Old buddy said "I'll bend over to help anyone; but if I feel any penetration that's it".
Same guy (sadly departed) discussing death said "Well, nobody gets out alive."

 

[66 Sat]

I was up in the attic with the wife on the weekend.
Filthy, dirty, full of spiders.
She's good with the kids though.

 

[peabodyracin]

Ignorance is bliss and I'm a happy guy.

 

[Auggie56]

 

[Auggie56]

 

[33 IMP]

I showed my girlfriend a prescription from my doctor for daily sex. She says it's dyslexic.