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Are You Old? Know The Signs

Richard Cranium

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Dec 11, 2024

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As one generation gives way to the next, you may find yourself looking in the mirror and wondering, "Hey, am I old now?"
Here are 15 signs that you are, in fact, old:

  1. You saw this article scrolling Facebook: Dead giveaway.
  2. You have something in your wallet called "cash": Okay, boomer.
  3. You take a minute to plan your approach before picking something up off the floor: Can't be too hasty.
  4. You whisper secrets so Alexa doesn't hear you: You know they're listening!
  5. You experience the sudden urge to put on a Steely Dan CD: Plus, you own CDs.
  6. You have car glasses, reading glasses, work glasses, TV glasses, and regular glasses: None of which you can locate.
  7. Your orthopedist named his boat after you: Subtle, but a sure sign.
  8. You just checked the clock to see when you can take ibuprofen again: Nope, it's only been 13 minutes.
  9. You tape little pieces of paper over your computer's camera so the hackers can't see you: Smart.
  10. You think Babylon Bee headlines are real news: A classic symptom of oldness.
  11. You sign all of your texts 'Love, Dad': And you think LOL means 'Lots of Love.'
  12. Reeeeeee!!: Oh, that's just your tinnitus flaring up again.
  13. You're on an Alaskan cruise: They're like a siren song to the old.
  14. You were born in the 1930s: Pretty straightforward.
  15. You got elected to Congress: Oof.
How many boxes did you check there, old-timer?
 
Dec 11, 2024

Article Image





As one generation gives way to the next, you may find yourself looking in the mirror and wondering, "Hey, am I old now?"
Here are 15 signs that you are, in fact, old:

  1. You saw this article scrolling Facebook: Dead giveaway.
  2. You have something in your wallet called "cash": Okay, boomer.
  3. You take a minute to plan your approach before picking something up off the floor: Can't be too hasty.
  4. You whisper secrets so Alexa doesn't hear you: You know they're listening!
  5. You experience the sudden urge to put on a Steely Dan CD: Plus, you own CDs.
  6. You have car glasses, reading glasses, work glasses, TV glasses, and regular glasses: None of which you can locate.
  7. Your orthopedist named his boat after you: Subtle, but a sure sign.
  8. You just checked the clock to see when you can take ibuprofen again: Nope, it's only been 13 minutes.
  9. You tape little pieces of paper over your computer's camera so the hackers can't see you: Smart.
  10. You think Babylon Bee headlines are real news: A classic symptom of oldness.
  11. You sign all of your texts 'Love, Dad': And you think LOL means 'Lots of Love.'
  12. Reeeeeee!!: Oh, that's just your tinnitus flaring up again.
  13. You're on an Alaskan cruise: They're like a siren song to the old.
  14. You were born in the 1930s: Pretty straightforward.
  15. You got elected to Congress: Oof.
How many boxes did you check there, old-timer?
Too many.

Love, Dad
 
When you complain about the cost of everything compared to when you were a kid. Like our parents and grandparents did when we were kids.
 
2 and 3 are the only ones I correlate with!
 
Sitting around with your friends talking about your ailments and what meds you're taking.

(I remember my parents doing this)
We save that for car shows, now. Instead of talking about engines, other cars, etc.
 
3 and 8, some of the others, but most definitely 3 and 8.
 
Can't say I subscribe to any of those, actually. Doesn't matter - I'm certified old anyways. :)
 
I couldn't find my reading glasses to read this.
 
2, 6, and 12. I also have work my way from a seated to standing position with the hunch and groan position.
 
Uh-oh. Still have some cassette tapes.
 
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