For the humble FBBO members: Tell your embarrassing stories !

[BDF6]

This is rather embarrassing.

 

[Kern Dog]

Flat tire on a road trip ?

 

[BDF6]

No, going to fry these before putting on the Nittos.
No one will see them once the smoke starts.

 

[Kern Dog]

Pictures, man.....

 

[BDF6]

Forthcoming!
(Probably tomorrow)

 

[Kern Dog]

In 1984, I was working at a Chevy dealer as a general odd-job guy in the service department. Among my jobs were driving customer cars back and forth. One day a '78 Corvette 4 speed came in. I drove it back to the storage lot and shut it off. It bucked and stalled and since I had it in gear, the front end hit another car, damaging the bumper. It turns out that it was in for a "dieseling/run on" problem.
Same place months before, I backed a Cavalier out of a building and caught the open drivers door on the edge of the building.
Yeah, I was fired from there.

 

[kiwigtx]

Going back about 10 years or so, my boss asked me to pick up some parts around the corner from the workshop. Since my van was being used by someone else, he gave me the keys to his lexus. Cool I thought as I prepared for take-off.
I must have spent about 5 minutes looking for a parking brake release handle. Couldn't find it, so I said bollocks....we're off now.

Got back to the shop and told the boss his car was more sluggish than I thought it would be. He asked if I had released the parking brake.
I told him it didn't have one.

Apparently it was another pedal on the floor which you push to engage & push to release. WHo the F*** designs this crap?

Anyhoo....the smell of cooked rear shoes wafted through the shop for a little while. Must have driven like that for about 5 miles.....I was never allowed to drive that car again.

 

[Dennis H]

I was with Biden in the 70’s when he was arrested in South Dakota trying to visit Mandela.

 

[Kern Dog]

?????

 

[Dennis H]

?????

You doubting me Maybe it was South Africa.

 

[Sahara]

Early ‘90’s I had a job for an oilfield service company. In the off season when I wasn’t painting for them I was a yard monkey.
Springtime and a rig has to come out of the bush before the roads are too wet. The ditches are already filling with water. My job is to take a large pump and pump the ditches out so that the road doesn’t wash out.
By myself I load a large water pump, and off I go. I arrive at the site to find a bunch of bored rig hands with nothing to do but watch me. I set the pump, play out my hoses, and fire up. Nothing happens, the pump won’t prime. By this time a small crowd of smart *** rig pigs are standing, watching in amusement. There’s an air bleed plug on top of the pump housing. I carefully back it off. Nothing. A bit more. Suddenly the plug blows off, and an inch and a half column of filthy, ice water hits me square in the face, knocking my glasses and the bleed plug into the ditch full of water, and shooting a geyser about twenty feet in the air. Soaked, cold, and humiliated I shut the pump down, wade into the ditch full of thigh deep ice water, and search for the plug and my glasses. The rig pigs are ecstatic.

 

[Kern Dog]

You doubting me Maybe it was South Africa.

I was just curious if it was a joke or the real thing.

 

[Duckmanreno]

I have accidently called my current wife by the name of my first wife....
Mary is so cool though. She knew by my expression that I was really sorry!
Hey, both names started with the letter M.

I just call my wife dear so I don't have to worry about that.

 

[BDF6]

Seventh grade.
Biology class.
Sex education time.
Dad taught.
Asked ME questions.
Are you happy NOW?!

 

[kiwigtx]

You doubting me Maybe it was South Africa.

 

[Budnicks]

This one time at band camp

sorry I can't help it

I was running my 23 Altered at Sacramento Raceway
early 90's IIRC, had a Blown Fuel Injected BBW in it
had to fill the oil thru a hole in the front coming off the valley cover
(PITA to do too)
Valve covers were already fastened down & no holes for any oil fill,
just evac holes, that go down into the top rails, to a rear puke tank...
I needed to add about 5 quarts, I forgot to add, when the VC's were off
"stupid rookie mistake", I was distracted by something I can't remember what...

I guess I didn't screw the fill cap in/on tight enough ?????
I assumed, then the lauch good, good 60', good 330', good 660'
going down track about 180+ at about nearing the 1000' mark all of a sudden
a huge green cloud came back right at me,
covering my, helmet, viser & chest with 70wt Nitro Oil, just above my windscreen level....

I was instantly blinded, thought I was gonna' run out of track very soon...
I pulled the parachute, grabbed a shitload of handbrake/fuel shut off
& came to a stop & it seemed like forever to stop....
Released my harness & bailed out of the car, I thought fire was coming next...
I'm glad I didn't deploy my fire system & thank God it wasn't on fire...
When I got my helmet off, my gloves & my hands were covered in oil too
really hard to grip anything or get off the helmet, with Torco 70 wt. all over...

My buddy & his girlfriend, with the tow rig was coming down the track to get me,
laughing as they approached at the sight of me, covered in oil,
from the chest up...
To my amazement I was only about 100' ft past the finish line
covered in oil, but safe & embarrasses...
I got that car stopped fast as hell...

IT Pissed everyone off behind me,
that lane was fucked now
almost all 12 qt's (like 10 of it) of oil was sprayed
all over the track/left/tower lane & me, from like 900ft on...

It was like a vacuum, the oil was drawn out of it...
I thought the engine was gone or rings or something...
I did a leak-down test & everything was in tolerances...
It was just a bonehead move on my part,
forgetting to tighten the filler cap (I assume) & it was still sitting right there up front
wedged under the intake, by the valley cover...

I was the green monster for a couple of seasons,
by my buddy Dan & his girlfriend Marsha

 

[HawkRod]

Around 1982, I was out in my 73 Road Runner partying with my friends. Of course, we were too sophisticated to drink out of cans - we had to have glass bottles and by now had about half a case of beer in the trunk.

A car had been following us and had flashed its lights at me a couple of times; it passed us when we reached a 4 lane, circular road that went around the shopping mall. My a-hole buddy says he gave us the finger. Well, being the self respecting studly teenager I was, I floored it to let that driver know who was boss. This was early spring, and I got one wheel in the grass (and mud) of the medial strip, lost control and took out a small tree as I skidded sideways and stalled in the grass. My side window was completed blocked by mud and dirt - I had to open the window and push the sod off the car so I could see.

We managed to get the car started and drove to an all night car wash where we washed off hundreds of pounds of mud and grass. Of course, lots of beer bottles had broken in the trunk so it stank to high heaven. It took weeks for the smell to go away, and I was on pins and needles that some parent would smell it if they went into the trunk.

A few weeks later, my parents were having a get together and a friend of my parents came over and quietly asked me if I was OK from the accident. He said he was the one in the car and was trying to wave hello. When we spun out, he happened to see a cop in the mall parking lot, so he stopped and asked for directions to stall the cop so we could get away. My parents never did find out and he never said a thing to them!

By the way, the tree I took out was about a 2 or 3 inch diameter tree. It only put a minor scrape in the rocker - not even a dent!

 

[Kern Dog]

I have several sort of embarrassing stories associated with driving.
In 1985, I went to a known street racing site to hang out and enjoy the action. I had a 73 Camaro with a stock 350 so I was in no position to race anyone.
I was 19. I was drinking a bit.
At some point, people thought a Cop was coming so we all scattered. This was a 2 lane levee road so you could only go 2 directions. Me and a buddy left and as we were approaching a turn, Tony said "Going too fast.."
"I got it, bud..."
I did not have it. I turned left and slid off the road and into a ditch. A guy with a Jeep pulled me out with a fat tow strap. The front end was AFU, alignment was horribly off but I was 20 miles from home. I drove it home and fixed the car over time.
Months later, I was out with friends, about 6 or 7 of us packed into a Chevy LUV with a camper shell.
We were drinking.
The driver tried to make a turn and skidded up to and over a median, popping 2 of the tires. He only had one spare.
I hiked up the road to hitch a ride home to get my car and go get another spare.
THE car that stopped had 2 guys in it. The passenger just happened to be the passenger in the Jeep that pulled me out of the ditch in my Camaro.
I'll bet that guy thought I was bad luck and would die before I reached 20 years of age.

 

[Sahara]

OK, my last one, I promise. And besides,I was just a bystander in this one.
Late 1970’s my high school buddies and I would drive around looking for old cars. We go to the next town north of here, about an hour drive. Now this is the freakin arctic, not a lot of traffic or help up here. It can be hours between vehicles on the highway. We are in a chev half ton.
Anyway, we drive around the small town and on our way out of town we get a flat. We change it with our only spare. On the gravel highway my buddy, the driver,keeps commenting that the truck doesn’t feel right since we changed the tire. Something is wrong. No power. This goes on for about twenty miles or so. Finally we stop to take a look and a quick pee. The three of us pile out of the truck and notice that the back rims are glowing yellow hot, like a dim light bulb. Just as it clues into us that buddy had left the parking brake on, BANG! A tire blows from the heat. ****! BANG! The other tire blows. No spare, blew both back tires. We walked probably ten miles before a car came along and gave us a ride. New back tires, brakes, and I think it ate the bearings, as well.
Another time, one of these same buddies stole the truck from his worksite so that we could go to the same small town. This was late at night, but it’s light here 24 hours in the summer. There was a dirt side road that we decided to explore, and we go have a few beers. Upon starting the truck to leave, it won’t go. We’re stuck. Puzzling, because the mud isn’t deep at all, but we figure it’s a dual wheel truck, they must get stuck easier.
Now we’re badly screwed here, my buddy has to get the truck back before work starts, it’s about midnight, and we’re 18 miles from town. We walk all 18 miles back, get another, legal truck, and go back to pull this one out of the mud. We get back there, buddy jumps in, starts the engine, releases the parking brake, and drives out. We weren’t stuck, the parking brake was on. Now it’s about 05:00AM. We get the work truck back and nobody is the wiser.

 

[GetX'd]

OK, my last one, I promise. And besides,I was just a bystander in this one.
Late 1970’s my high school buddies and I would drive around looking for old cars. We go to the next town north of here, about an hour drive. Now this is the freakin arctic, not a lot of traffic or help up here. It can be hours between vehicles on the highway. We are in a chev half ton.
Anyway, we drive around the small town and on our way out of town we get a flat. We change it with our only spare. On the gravel highway my buddy, the driver,keeps commenting that the truck doesn’t feel right since we changed the tire. Something is wrong. No power. This goes on for about twenty miles or so. Finally we stop to take a look and a quick pee. The three of us pile out of the truck and notice that the back rims are glowing yellow hot, like a dim light bulb. Just as it clues into us that buddy had left the parking brake on, BANG! A tire blows from the heat. ****! BANG! The other tire blows. No spare, blew both back tires. We walked probably ten miles before a car came along and gave us a ride. New back tires, brakes, and I think it ate the bearings, as well.
Another time, one of these same buddies stole the truck from his worksite so that we could go to the same small town. This was late at night, but it’s light here 24 hours in the summer. There was a dirt side road that we decided to explore, and we go have a few beers. Upon starting the truck to leave, it won’t go. We’re stuck. Puzzling, because the mud isn’t deep at all, but we figure it’s a dual wheel truck, they must get stuck easier.
Now we’re badly screwed here, my buddy has to get the truck back before work starts, it’s about midnight, and we’re 18 miles from town. We walk all 18 miles back, get another, legal truck, and go back to pull this one out of the mud. We get back there, buddy jumps in, starts the engine, releases the parking brake, and drives out. We weren’t stuck, the parking brake was on. Now it’s about 05:00AM. We get the work truck back and nobody is the wiser.

Note to self: Always release parking brake

 

[68gtxman]

Went to the liquor store twice today because I forgot my wallet the first time.