Friends that you had to let go.

[MarPar]

The man that inspired this thread just called, asking for a favor.

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I haven't spoken to him in a couple of months and quit responding to texts. We used to at least share silly stuff back and forth through text but I quit responding.
Out of the friggin blue, he calls to ask if I would meet up with some guy 3 hours away that has a tailgate for a mid 70s Dodge truck. Apparently they are hard to find. This allowed me the perfect opportunity to let this guy know why I don't call him anymore.
I wasn't mean or punitive but I did tell him that I didn't like the monologues, I listened to his every story while patiently waiting for him to ask or at least listen and pretend to care but when it didn't happen, I lost interest in maintaining contact with him....that I even tolerated an 80/20 split for awhile but I am done.
Then, I hung up as he was apologizing.

 

[Kern Dog]

I saw BOB at a car show over the weekend.
BOB was also the type of guy that rarely ever asked about what was going on with me, seemed to show no interest in what I had to say about myself or my family. He would blab on about himself and experiences he had over his long years.
The last contact I had with BOB was in May. He tried to get me to help him change the spark plugs in his Dodge truck. I told him at best, I'd go to HIS place when I got the time. See, this guy is a master of being a waste of time because he would always claim he needed help but whet he needed was for someone else to do EVERYTHING while he stood leaning against the counter smoking his pipe. Story after story, **** I've heard three times already and even once already that day alone.
He waddles up to me while I was talking to another guy and without any small talk, not even asking How're you doing? he jumps right in to say the dealer wanted $1200 to change the plugs so he found a mobile mechanic that did it for $200. I barely acknowledged him and don't plan to anytime soon.

 

[Cranky]

I saw BOB at a car show over the weekend.
BOB was also the type of guy that rarely ever asked about what was going on with me, seemed to show no interest in what I had to say about myself or my family. He would blab on about himself and experiences he had over his long years.
The last contact I had with BOB was in May. He tried to get me to help him change the spark plugs in his Dodge truck. I told him at best, I'd go to HIS place when I got the time. See, this guy is a master of being a waste of time because he would always claim he needed help but whet he needed was for someone else to do EVERYTHING while he stood leaning against the counter smoking his pipe. Story after story, **** I've heard three times already and even once already that day alone.
He waddles up to me while I was talking to another guy and without any small talk, not even asking How're you doing? he jumps right in to say the dealer wanted $1200 to change the plugs so he found a mobile mechanic that did it for $200. I barely acknowledged him and don't plan to anytime soon.

Bob sounds like Max.....same kind of thing only he didn't ask me to do much stuff for him. He's a man that's never wrong and apologizes for nothing because it's everyone else that needs to.

On another note, my sister is one that I'm dealing with lately. She can talk about whatever she wants with me but I can't and when I do, she throws barbs at me. Crap that no one should ever throw. In our last barrage of emails (she writes really loooong ones and I'm to the point), she asked for forgiveness and reconciliation and I waited a week before replying. Just didn't feel like it until I decided to man up and send one. Short and sweet....the reply was....'forgiveness, sure thing but doubt that there will be reconciliation and if you think there can't be forgiveness without reconciliation, Google it.'

 

[j-c-c-62]

Ouch!

 

[ckessel]

We've got family members and friends who we've forgiven. But we don't forget either.

 

[Kern Dog]

People that are rude and mean sometimes are oblivious to polite suggestions.

 

[j-c-c-62]

People that are rude and mean sometimes are oblivious to polite suggestions.

That is kind of stating the obvious.
The real question IMO is why are they oblivious.
They frankly don't care, they have made an unintentional mistake, or they are not sharp enough to understand how their behavior affects others, or some combination of the above. The list can be long why they don't care.
I will add, nobody should expect another to read one's mind, meaning if you feel you have been slighted, speak up, and why polite suggestions have to be part of solution, as it gives the person the chance to change their ways, or maybe explain the basis of a potential simple misunderstanding.
Their response and any future behavior improvement or lack of will be very telling. If the latter, time to move on.
Bottom line, none of us are perfect, stating the obvious.

 

[Budnicks]

I completely get it. When we started collecting my mother's mail, every day she would get a pile of junk mail from various animal rescue places all over the country and when we started looking into her checkbook, we discovered that she was giving money to many of them to the tune of thousands of dollars a year. What I have found with any of these "charitable" organizations that when you give to one, they come after you several times a year, plus you get put on what I call a sucker's list. Once you give to one, three more come after you and it keeps multiplying from there. My wife spent countless hours over a several weeks calling these places up to say that she was deceased and to take her of their lists. Some even asked my wife if she wanted to become a donor!

Exactly they prey on the generous & feeble/elderly, bleeding hearts BS...

sad truly sad

My dad was like that too, I stopped it all
(except for he still does T2T & St. Jude, both honorable charities, with minimal contributions)
convinced him he doesn't have enough to give away that much, write off or not
he finally seen the light, that stuff took some time too...

MY oldest sister is a huge issue, she thinks the world revolves around her/& only her
dad changed his living trust, she only gets 10%, the next oldest is a greedy leach
she's a former Calif. politician, who pissed away all her own,
trying to keep up with the Jones's...
Dad pays for a fuel/gas credit card for her (like $500 a month),
he also pays for her propane on her 20 acre ranch too,
to the tune of about $1,000 a month...
She really pisses me off sometimes, & she makes good money,
she really doesn't or shouldn't need dad's limited retirement funds,
she doesn't want to pay out of hers
she just doesn't invest or save any, for a rainy day...
Thinks my/our dad will bail her out always... (he has helped her a lot, but less now)
I've talked to him about it, he thinks he's doing good,
but he's just feeding the leach... (Family & daughters )

The part I hate is he doesn't really have much to waste, they don't care
he's a retired union school-bus driver, never had much & a shitty pension,
& social security/measly amount...
He also inherited some from my granddad/his dad, & my great aunt,
who were savvy investors...
And they know he has me & I'll take care of everything & him,
except some of his finances...
I do pay all his bills, I know what he has & what he can afford...
He's still really sharp with investing, he has his own deal there...
I know she/they (the oldest & 2nd oldest) will be a problem too,
I'm the executor of the/his will & living trust...
I can cut her/them off if need be too, I hope it doesn't ever come to that...

Oldest sister, She's been the black sheep for quite a while,
married & divorced 3 times, to all losers, she was a loser magnet
& the guy she's with now...
I'm surprised he has stuck around, he's a totally polar opposite...
He has/had a great job (like 40 years same place) until he got injured bad/disabled,
he was a diesel mechanic/large equipment tech, very good one too
in Portland area, he's down to earth, extremely nice guy...
She's pretty much been like that (pisses everyone off with greed) money grubbing "sibling"
since she moved to Portland area, I'm not sure why she went that way...

We, I or dad rarely hear from her/them (hell both older sisters) ever
if we do & it's all about $$, that's just sad...
Her (eldest's) kids are the exact same way too, too bad they get nothing...
She can share hers with them, they are just like her,
don't care about anyone but themselves, or money/gifts, sad truly sad...

I love my sisters (had 5 now 4, 2 step brothers), but they are a PITA sometimes,
all self centered, now since none hardly ever contact me or my dad,
even on holidays or birthdays, except for if they want something,
dad's a softy, I'm not...
I see through that crap, I tell them so too, they don't like it...
You can pick your friends & you're stuck with family
sad it has to be that's the way it is, sometimes, greed is the worst part...

I was really close to all my sisters until, about Nov. 2008, maybe a lil' prior to that too
the 2 adopted girls, ones dead (died at 39 drugs/alcohol) the other is a 4 time loser,
former Army Intel./Lawyer, on to the next dude that will support them/her habits/lifestyle...
It's all down hill ever since, they got pissed, when I had him come & move in with me
bought a house down lower elevation in 2005, then sold his cabin,
told him to invest it, live off it...
I relocated him & sold my place/s in Rancho Murieta (Duplexes), gave up my lifestyle,
to get him off the upper mountain, he was going to die otherwise, snow & the likes
(alcohol issues, he did almost die from) & we/my sisters just don't see eye to eye,
sad truly, but they are of no help at all either...

Entitlement/greed is a family wrecker, for damn sure, just as much as it is politics...

I'll stop there...