Friends that you had to let go.

[MarPar]

The man that inspired this thread just called, asking for a favor.

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I haven't spoken to him in a couple of months and quit responding to texts. We used to at least share silly stuff back and forth through text but I quit responding.
Out of the friggin blue, he calls to ask if I would meet up with some guy 3 hours away that has a tailgate for a mid 70s Dodge truck. Apparently they are hard to find. This allowed me the perfect opportunity to let this guy know why I don't call him anymore.
I wasn't mean or punitive but I did tell him that I didn't like the monologues, I listened to his every story while patiently waiting for him to ask or at least listen and pretend to care but when it didn't happen, I lost interest in maintaining contact with him....that I even tolerated an 80/20 split for awhile but I am done.
Then, I hung up as he was apologizing.

 

[Kern Dog]

I saw BOB at a car show over the weekend.
BOB was also the type of guy that rarely ever asked about what was going on with me, seemed to show no interest in what I had to say about myself or my family. He would blab on about himself and experiences he had over his long years.
The last contact I had with BOB was in May. He tried to get me to help him change the spark plugs in his Dodge truck. I told him at best, I'd go to HIS place when I got the time. See, this guy is a master of being a waste of time because he would always claim he needed help but whet he needed was for someone else to do EVERYTHING while he stood leaning against the counter smoking his pipe. Story after story, **** I've heard three times already and even once already that day alone.
He waddles up to me while I was talking to another guy and without any small talk, not even asking How're you doing? he jumps right in to say the dealer wanted $1200 to change the plugs so he found a mobile mechanic that did it for $200. I barely acknowledged him and don't plan to anytime soon.

 

[Cranky]

I saw BOB at a car show over the weekend.
BOB was also the type of guy that rarely ever asked about what was going on with me, seemed to show no interest in what I had to say about myself or my family. He would blab on about himself and experiences he had over his long years.
The last contact I had with BOB was in May. He tried to get me to help him change the spark plugs in his Dodge truck. I told him at best, I'd go to HIS place when I got the time. See, this guy is a master of being a waste of time because he would always claim he needed help but whet he needed was for someone else to do EVERYTHING while he stood leaning against the counter smoking his pipe. Story after story, **** I've heard three times already and even once already that day alone.
He waddles up to me while I was talking to another guy and without any small talk, not even asking How're you doing? he jumps right in to say the dealer wanted $1200 to change the plugs so he found a mobile mechanic that did it for $200. I barely acknowledged him and don't plan to anytime soon.

Bob sounds like Max.....same kind of thing only he didn't ask me to do much stuff for him. He's a man that's never wrong and apologizes for nothing because it's everyone else that needs to.

On another note, my sister is one that I'm dealing with lately. She can talk about whatever she wants with me but I can't and when I do, she throws barbs at me. Crap that no one should ever throw. In our last barrage of emails (she writes really loooong ones and I'm to the point), she asked for forgiveness and reconciliation and I waited a week before replying. Just didn't feel like it until I decided to man up and send one. Short and sweet....the reply was....'forgiveness, sure thing but doubt that there will be reconciliation and if you think there can't be forgiveness without reconciliation, Google it.'

 

[j-c-c-62]

Ouch!

 

[ckessel]

We've got family members and friends who we've forgiven. But we don't forget either.

 

[Kern Dog]

People that are rude and mean sometimes are oblivious to polite suggestions.

 

[j-c-c-62]

People that are rude and mean sometimes are oblivious to polite suggestions.

That is kind of stating the obvious.
The real question IMO is why are they oblivious.
They frankly don't care, they have made an unintentional mistake, or they are not sharp enough to understand how their behavior affects others, or some combination of the above. The list can be long why they don't care.
I will add, nobody should expect another to read one's mind, meaning if you feel you have been slighted, speak up, and why polite suggestions have to be part of solution, as it gives the person the chance to change their ways, or maybe explain the basis of a potential simple misunderstanding.
Their response and any future behavior improvement or lack of will be very telling. If the latter, time to move on.
Bottom line, none of us are perfect, stating the obvious.

 

[Budnicks]

I completely get it. When we started collecting my mother's mail, every day she would get a pile of junk mail from various animal rescue places all over the country and when we started looking into her checkbook, we discovered that she was giving money to many of them to the tune of thousands of dollars a year. What I have found with any of these "charitable" organizations that when you give to one, they come after you several times a year, plus you get put on what I call a sucker's list. Once you give to one, three more come after you and it keeps multiplying from there. My wife spent countless hours over a several weeks calling these places up to say that she was deceased and to take her of their lists. Some even asked my wife if she wanted to become a donor!

Exactly they prey on the generous & feeble...

sad truly sad

my dad was like that too, I stopped it all

MY oldest sister is a huge issue, she thinks the world revolves around her
dad changed his living trust, she only gets 10%, the next oldest is a greedy leach
she's a former politician, who pissed away all her own...
Dad pays for a credit card for her, he pays for her propane on her 20 acre ranch too...
I've talked to him about it, he thinks he's doing good, he's just feeding the leach
The part I hate is he doesn't really have much to waste, they don't care
I know she will be a problem too, I'm the executor of the/his will & living trust
I can cut her off if need be too, I hope it doesn't come to that...

Oldest, She's been the black sheep for quite a while, married & divorced 3 times
to all losers & the guy she's with now I'm surprised he has stuck around,
he's a totally polar opposite...
Had a great job until he got injured bad/disabled,
he was a diesel mechanic/large equipment tech, very good one too
in Portland area, he's down to earth, nice guy...
She's pretty much been like that money grubbing "sibling"
since she moved to Portland area...

We, I or dad rarely hear from her ever
if we do & it's all about $$, that's just sad...
Her kids are the exact same way too, too bad they get nothing...
She can share hers with them, they are just like her,
don't care about anyone but themselves, sad truly sad...

I love my sisters, but they are a PITA sometimes, all self centered
hardly ever contact me or my dad, even on holidays or birthdays
except for if they want something, dad's a softy, I'm not
I see through that crap, I tell them so too, they don't like it...
You can pick your friends & you're stuck with family
sad it has to be that's the way it is, sometimes, greed is the worst part...

I was really close to all my sisters until, about 2008,
the 2 adopted girls ones dead (died at 39) the other is a 4 time loser,
on to the next dude that will support them...
It's all down hill ever since, they got pissed I had him come & move in with me
he was going to die otherwise (alcohol issues, he did almost die from)
& we/my sisters just don't se eye to eye, sad truly...
Entitlement/greed is a family wrecker, for damn sure, just as much as it is politics...

I'll stop there...