I'm tired of all these calls

[dadsbee]

I'm still waiting for Revenue Canada to come and arrest me for failure to pay taxes....

 

[slepr1]

"Housekeeping, housekeeping"

 

[Basket case]

and I have several warrants out for my arrest from Social Security......

 

[Bb70charger500]

I answered once . Answered dude where are you this body is starting to stink we need that lime ....... Hello? John! if they say something be like **** !Mike, trace this call got to tie up loose ends

Or my helper start making weird sex noises into phone like he accidentally bumped accept call .
As he goes one he gets crazier with what's going on
He would start with, yeah oh yeah baby .. stuff like that then he would say grab that batt stick it up my arss then yeah hit me harder . Then get really nasty.
The funny part these people stay on the line for awhile

Or he will turn it around asking if they want to buy life insurance

 

[kiwigtx]

I'm still waiting for Revenue Canada to come and arrest me for failure to pay taxes....

We get regular calls (almost daily) saying that it is important that we contact our local telephone company to arrange payment, or our internet service will be terminated. Been going on for a few months now....still have internet, and I pay our bills by direct debit.
The number shows as being Australian, but it is probably bounced all around the world before getting to us. Never a voice, just a pre-recorded message.

 

[68gtxman]

Just yesterday, the IRS a issued a warrant for my arrest and my social security number was cancelled.

 

[Ranger16]

I wish one of those Indian IRS agents would call me.

 

[Basket case]

the ones I get about the IRS issuing an arrest warrant are recordings.

 

[Ranger16]

Well ****, that wouldn't be any fun.

 

[PeteBell68]

We get the HVAC companies asking to clean all our ducts I say we don't have ducks just chickens .

 

[Basket case]

"Yes please...I need to talk to the person responsible for the electric bill" We don't have electricity....minute pause..."no electric..."what do you do for power?" this varies depending on my mood....have said windmill,generator, personal favorite is I run an extension cord to the old lady's house next door...."That's illegal, I'll call the police!" you want their number? Usually they then ask "for person responsible for natural gas bill" I say the only natural gas in this house comes outta my ***. One guy, actually spoke clear English started laughing so hard I thought he peed himself. He said "I know your just screwing with me but that really made my day"

 

[Pops1967GTX]

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[mobileparts]

I keep getting calls from a company wanting to clean my chimney... (My house doesn't have a chimney...)
So, I ask them if they have a beautiful woman on staff that would like to "clean my pipe ???"
That gets them to hang up !!!!

 

[Ranger16]

I got one from the SSA the other day telling me that my account was being closed. Press 1 to resolve this issue.
I pressed 1 and heard an Indian accent (big surprise) say "This is social security, how can i help you"?
My response was "you can kiss my *** and suck my ****". Last thing I heard before I hung up was "Mother******" (in an Indian accent). Laughed so hard I damned near pissed my pants. I'm chuckling now just typing this.

 

[Basket case]

yeah these tellis have gotten quite the potty mouth lately!

 

[Imperial One]

these guys have a bunch of fun videos of answering messages,

 

[Pops1967GTX]

​

 

[Dave6T4]

I use the compressed air emergency boat horn on them.

 

[Basket case]

I need to find one of those.....

 

[YY1]