Ironbuilt
Well-Known Member
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
Ironbuilts' Jokes
- Thread starter Ironbuilt
- Start date
Ironbuilt
Well-Known Member
What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years, your job will still suck.
After five years, your job will still suck.
Ironbuilt
Well-Known Member
Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.
Ironbuilt
Well-Known Member
Why did God give men penises?
So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.
So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Ironbuilt
Well-Known Member
What’s the difference between **** and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. **** makes your hole weak.
Oral sex makes your day. **** makes your hole weak.
Ironbuilt
Well-Known Member
How is life like a penis?
Your girlfriend makes it hard.
Your girlfriend makes it hard.
Ironbuilt
Well-Known Member
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
A cherry float.
Ironbuilt
Well-Known Member
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin’ off.
Beef strokin’ off.
Ironbuilt
Well-Known Member
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
A trip without kids.
Ironbuilt
Well-Known Member
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Ironbuilt
Well-Known Member
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Ironbuilt
Well-Known Member
Woman: Do you love me?
Man: Yes, dear.
Woman: Would you die for me?
Man: No... mine is an undying love.
Man: Yes, dear.
Woman: Would you die for me?
Man: No... mine is an undying love.
Ironbuilt
Well-Known Member
A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband -- he thinks he's a refrigerator!''
''I wouldn't worry too much about it,'' the doctor replies. 'Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.''
''But you don't understand,'' the woman insists. ''He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.''
''I wouldn't worry too much about it,'' the doctor replies. 'Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.''
''But you don't understand,'' the woman insists. ''He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.''
BB BELLA
Well-Known Member
how can you distinguish an oral or rectal thermometer?
the taste!
the taste!
BB BELLA
Well-Known Member
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, the minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cottonwool, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
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