Little Johnny strikes again

[dan juhasz]

Chuck Schumer was visiting a Washington DC. primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked Mr. Schumer if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'.

So Mr. Schumer asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy'

A little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.'

'Incorrect,' said Schumer. 'That would be an accident.'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everybody inside, that would be a tragedy.'

‘I'm afraid not’, explained Schumer, 'that's what we would refer to as a great loss'.

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Schumer searched the room.

'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?

Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand and said: 'If a plane carrying you and Mrs. Pelosi and The Obamas and Mrs. Clinton was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic' exclaimed Schumer, 'and can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'

'Well', said Johnny, 'it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a freakin accident either!'

 

[oldbee]

LMAO

 

[65RoadRacer]

Not to hijack your post, but it reminded me of a Little Johnny joke my mother told me when I was much younger. I had never heard my mother talk like this but the joke, somehow, still cracks me up. I might be the only one that laughs... but my mom told it to me when I was a teenager ~1975 or so.

The teacher was going through an alphabet exercise with the class, and had local department of education staff visiting to show how well the class is responding to her teaching methods. She had the children come up with a word that begins with each letter and to use it in a sentence. She began with A and Little Johnny raised his hand as soon as she started. The teacher thought, "No... he will say 'Asshole', I can't call on him," and she chose someone else. As she went through the alphabet, Little Johnny continued to raise his hand, but she knew better; B, C, D.... she was sure he was going to come up with a dirty word so she continued to call on others.

Finally, she reached 'R' and again Little Johnny was the first to get his eager little hand in the air. She pondered calling on him, and she couldn't come up with anything dirty, so she let finally gave in. "Yes, Little Johnny, what is your word for the letter 'R'," she nervously asked him.

"Rat," said Little Johnny.

The teacher stood back a little and looked about the room. "Rat? Rat. Well that's very good, Little Johnny. Rat." She was so relieved. "Now can you use that in a sentence for us?"

"I sure can," Little Johnny said. "Last weekend, my dad saw a big, hairy-*** rat in the basement so he shot that ****** right between the eyes with his 45 and mom nearly **** her pants."

The teacher fainted.

RIP, mom... dropping the F bomb on your 14 year old kid. Classic.

 

[its-a-mario]