gooser
Well-Known Member
maybe boeing gets its parts from china
Meteorologists Call For Rain Showers This Weekend And A Slight Chance Of Getting Crushed By A Falling Boeing Airliner Part
- Thread starter Richard Cranium
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Boeing Proudly Announces It Has Fixed Malfunctioning Whistleblower
Mar 13, 2024
ARLINGTON, VA — In response to mounting public criticism of its quality standards, aerospace corporation Boeing proudly announced it has fixed its malfunctioning whistleblower.
The longtime industry leader in commercial aircraft manufacturing had been in hot water following a string of highly publicized malfunctions and accidents involving its planes, leaving the company desperate to find a solution to its problems.
"That should take care of everything," a Boeing spokesman said. "After extensive investigation into the recent engineering and design quality issues, we determined that many of these problems could be traced back to this whistleblower. We are proud to announce that we have, in fact, fixed the whistleblower. Permanently."
Following the decisive action taken to resolve its whistleblower issue, Boeing expressed confidence that it will be smooth sailing moving forward. "We don't foresee any more problems," the spokesman said. "Everyone here at Boeing feels much safer now."
When asked how fixing the whistleblower would solve ongoing issues with the design and assembly of the aircraft, the spokesman offered the following response: "There aren't any more problems. Got it? If you disagree, you can take it up with our newest board member, H.C."
At publishing time, the spokesman denied rumors that the company's original plan to fix the whistleblower involved offering him a free flight in an exit row on one of its aircraft.
Mar 13, 2024
ARLINGTON, VA — In response to mounting public criticism of its quality standards, aerospace corporation Boeing proudly announced it has fixed its malfunctioning whistleblower.
The longtime industry leader in commercial aircraft manufacturing had been in hot water following a string of highly publicized malfunctions and accidents involving its planes, leaving the company desperate to find a solution to its problems.
"That should take care of everything," a Boeing spokesman said. "After extensive investigation into the recent engineering and design quality issues, we determined that many of these problems could be traced back to this whistleblower. We are proud to announce that we have, in fact, fixed the whistleblower. Permanently."
Following the decisive action taken to resolve its whistleblower issue, Boeing expressed confidence that it will be smooth sailing moving forward. "We don't foresee any more problems," the spokesman said. "Everyone here at Boeing feels much safer now."
When asked how fixing the whistleblower would solve ongoing issues with the design and assembly of the aircraft, the spokesman offered the following response: "There aren't any more problems. Got it? If you disagree, you can take it up with our newest board member, H.C."
At publishing time, the spokesman denied rumors that the company's original plan to fix the whistleblower involved offering him a free flight in an exit row on one of its aircraft.
Terrorists Decide Against Hijacking Plane After Realizing It's A Boeing
Mar 13, 2024
U.S. — An attack by a cell belonging to a violent extremist group was averted last week, as terrorists decided against hijacking a plane after finding out it was made by Boeing.
The hijacking, which was allegedly planned to be carried out over the weekend, was called off at the last minute after the group of terrorists behind the plot discovered the flight they were targeting was a Boeing 737, which meant everyone on board — including the terrorists — would be in serious danger.
"We're not going anywhere near that deathtrap," said terrorist Abu Musab Alwani, who masterminded the planned attack. "We are very zealous for our faith and deeply committed to our cause of ridding our holy lands of crusading infidels, but have you seen the news lately? Parts of these planes are falling off in mid-air. These Boeing aircraft are simply not safe for hijacking."
Though officials with the Department of Homeland Security refused to make any official statements about the canceled terrorist attack, one insider confirmed the report on the condition of anonymity. "Yes, it's true," the source said. "They had spent months meticulously planning out every detail of the hijacking, but they weren't sure what make and model of aircraft it would be. Once they realized it was a Boeing plane, they chickened out. Way too high-risk."
When asked why they became resistant to hijack a Boeing plane, the terrorists said the decision was simple. "It's too unpredictable," Alwani said. "When we're going to hijack a plane and potentially kill ourselves and everyone on board, we want it to be our doing, not due to some horrible malfunction."
At publishing time, Alwani said the cell was still very much open to hijacking planes made by other manufacturers as long as the doors, wings, and wheels would stay on.
Mar 13, 2024
U.S. — An attack by a cell belonging to a violent extremist group was averted last week, as terrorists decided against hijacking a plane after finding out it was made by Boeing.
The hijacking, which was allegedly planned to be carried out over the weekend, was called off at the last minute after the group of terrorists behind the plot discovered the flight they were targeting was a Boeing 737, which meant everyone on board — including the terrorists — would be in serious danger.
"We're not going anywhere near that deathtrap," said terrorist Abu Musab Alwani, who masterminded the planned attack. "We are very zealous for our faith and deeply committed to our cause of ridding our holy lands of crusading infidels, but have you seen the news lately? Parts of these planes are falling off in mid-air. These Boeing aircraft are simply not safe for hijacking."
Though officials with the Department of Homeland Security refused to make any official statements about the canceled terrorist attack, one insider confirmed the report on the condition of anonymity. "Yes, it's true," the source said. "They had spent months meticulously planning out every detail of the hijacking, but they weren't sure what make and model of aircraft it would be. Once they realized it was a Boeing plane, they chickened out. Way too high-risk."
When asked why they became resistant to hijack a Boeing plane, the terrorists said the decision was simple. "It's too unpredictable," Alwani said. "When we're going to hijack a plane and potentially kill ourselves and everyone on board, we want it to be our doing, not due to some horrible malfunction."
At publishing time, Alwani said the cell was still very much open to hijacking planes made by other manufacturers as long as the doors, wings, and wheels would stay on.
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Boeing stock market prices for March:
hdwrench
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ya know, i’m kinda getting used to this rain stuff . no i don’t like it , not really a fan but it’s gonna take some time getting used to this falling airplane debris thing ! the thought of a landing gear from a 777777 crashing thru the roof into my living room is just not sitting well ! my roof is only a couple years old….
maxwedgechar
Well-Known Member
I went online to Boeing's website. They have 5,000 737s on order!!!!!!!!!!!! How do you build that many planes to satisfy your customers? Like GM in the Seventies? My brother worked at a place where he got Diesel fuel free. He had a Diesel Cutlass. He bought the FSM. I looked at the Turbo Hydro diagnosis section. Half the issues were because Bob or George or Harry Efed up assembling your transmission. Maybe the problems they're having at Boeing are on Monday Morning/Friday Afternoon planes?
Click the picture.
Southwest Airlines Boeing 737 in Emergency Landing After Losing Engine Cover
Southwest Airlines Boeing 737 in Emergency Landing After Losing Engine Cover
A Southwest Airlines Boeing 737 was forced to make an emergency landing Sunday after an engine cowling blew off during take-off from Denver.
www.breitbart.com
maxwedgechar
Well-Known Member
You can't blame engine covers coming off on Boeing! It's like the mechanic working on your car and the hood coming off on the way home!
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Well, it depends on who was the last one to lay hands on I suppose - if they're coming apart right off the assembly
line, that's a different matter - or if the design itself is flawed.
As an aside - if you survive airplane debris plunking down on your property, do you get to keep it?
Wonder what a chuck of landing gear would go for on eBay...
8 Forms Of Travel Safer Than Getting In A Boeing
Apr 9, 2024
With all the frightening headlines being made by faulty Boeing aircraft these days, many people are looking for alternative methods of transportation. If you have an upcoming trip, you may want to consider a few different options for your safety.
Following is list of suggestions for safer forms of travel than getting on board a Boeing:
Apr 9, 2024
With all the frightening headlines being made by faulty Boeing aircraft these days, many people are looking for alternative methods of transportation. If you have an upcoming trip, you may want to consider a few different options for your safety.
Following is list of suggestions for safer forms of travel than getting on board a Boeing:
- Grandpa's backyard trebuchet: Likely to be the most invigorating ride of your life. Just make sure you're wearing a helmet.
- New York City subway: It's guaranteed you'll be assaulted. Still safer than a Boeing.
- The Hindenburg: As long as you keep any open flames away from the envelope, you should be fine.
- Tying hundreds of balloons to a lawn chair: This option leaves your destination at the mercy of the prevailing winds, but the lawn chair is more comfortable than an airplane seat.
- Letting your Kansas farmhouse get picked up by a tornado: You may not be looking to vacation in the land of Oz, but at least you'll get there safely.
- Strapping yourself to a grizzly bear: Your life may be in danger, but at least you'll still be on the ground.
- Jewish tunnels: Nothing bad will happen to you in tunnels dug by God's chosen people.
- Having your wife drive you: Almost as dangerous as flying in a Boeing. But not quite. Just barely.
Boeing Sadly Announces Whistleblower Shot Self In Back While Falling Off Skyscraper Directly Into Wood Chipper While Wearing Cement Shoes
May 2, 2024
ARLINGTON, VA — In a press conference held this morning, Boeing sadly announced that a whistleblower had shot himself in the back while falling off a skyscraper directly into a wood chipper while wearing cement shoes.
Though the shocking incident is the second such death of a Boeing whistleblower in as many months, the company saw no correlation between the two terrible tragedies that were in no way the results of any type of foul play and were clearly instances of suicide.
"We received awful news this morning," said a Boeing spokesperson at the press conference. "It has been brought to our attention that the individual who came forward as a whistleblower regarding our company using defective and dangerous products has died. He apparently took his own life by shooting himself in the back as he jumped from a tall building and landed straight in a perfectly positioned wood chipper, all after going to the effort of fitting himself with a pair of cement shoes. It's sad that he was so despondent that he felt the need to end his life in such a needlessly complicated way. In completely unrelated news, the investigation into the safety standards of our design and manufacturing processes has been put on indefinite hold due to the lack of any witness testimony. Thank you."
At publishing time, Boeing had distributed a company-wide memo to all employees to warn them about the tragic effects of suicide and to keep their yappers shut if they knew what was good for them.
May 2, 2024
ARLINGTON, VA — In a press conference held this morning, Boeing sadly announced that a whistleblower had shot himself in the back while falling off a skyscraper directly into a wood chipper while wearing cement shoes.
Though the shocking incident is the second such death of a Boeing whistleblower in as many months, the company saw no correlation between the two terrible tragedies that were in no way the results of any type of foul play and were clearly instances of suicide.
"We received awful news this morning," said a Boeing spokesperson at the press conference. "It has been brought to our attention that the individual who came forward as a whistleblower regarding our company using defective and dangerous products has died. He apparently took his own life by shooting himself in the back as he jumped from a tall building and landed straight in a perfectly positioned wood chipper, all after going to the effort of fitting himself with a pair of cement shoes. It's sad that he was so despondent that he felt the need to end his life in such a needlessly complicated way. In completely unrelated news, the investigation into the safety standards of our design and manufacturing processes has been put on indefinite hold due to the lack of any witness testimony. Thank you."
At publishing time, Boeing had distributed a company-wide memo to all employees to warn them about the tragic effects of suicide and to keep their yappers shut if they knew what was good for them.
Another whistleblower DEAD! Two down.........
Counterfeit Chinese Titanium Discovered In Some Boeing Jets, Per FAA
Counterfeit Chinese Titanium Discovered In Some Boeing Jets, Per FAA | The Gateway Pundit | by Anthony Scott
On Friday, the Financial Times reported that Boeing acknowledged some parts of their jets contain counterfeit titanium from China.
www.thegatewaypundit.com
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