My baby got hurt....

[Mike67]

My eldest daughter that is in AFJROTC Cadet Leadership Camp shipped out Monday for her 2nd year much to her displeasure... Initially...
We got a call today that she was hurt, evidently yesterday they were on their 2 mile run and she rolled her ankle in a hole. She sucked it up and didn't say anything & completed the run and the rest of the day.
They start PT at 430 every morning and she was able to suck it up and no one noticed... Afterwards they started their run & was trying to make up time as she was lagging near the rear, ( shes a natural runner and is always in the top 5) when a friend saw her crying and reported her to the CTO who made her go to the medic.
They iced it and put a brace on and tried to see if she could make it and finally determined she could not continue despite her protest. I went downtown to pick her up and as soon as she saw me I could see her tearing up, not wanting her to break down in front of her Lt. Col, & Sgts I tried to say something funny not related to her injury to get her mind off of it.
I have never seen her so diappointed and heartbroken which killed me. She did not want to talk at all, which hurt me terribly. She came around this evening and vented to me, but my words of comfort were of little value at this point...She has come to the realization that she will never make "Endevour" (4th yr leadership cadet).
The daddy in me wants to coddle her and baby her, then there is the part that wants to explain that some things are just not meant to be regardless of effort.
We had a long talk before she left and her lack of enthusiasm for this year was due to all of the yelling and screaming the CTOs do, I told her it was 5 days and to go take something positive from it all that she could apply to her new role/rank at school next year...she agreed and bought in and was actually having a good experience.... I hope I can keep her motivation up as she already stated now she does not want to go the next 2 yrs because she will not make the highest rank....
Any words of wisdom???? By the way she is ok just has a bad sprain, has to keep weight off for the next 3 days...

 

[WileERobby]

You should be proud as a peacock for raising such a wonderful daughter ! Her will and determination are admirable. Not many reach the pinnacle of their goals, but when you put you heart and soul to be the best you can, no one could ever ask for a better example of character.

 

[1967coronet440]

Mike, you’re a great man and father, that’s obvious. You don’t need Any words of wisdom you’re doing the right thing, just don’t let her give up. That’s one thing I teach my boys to never give up no matter what.

 

[Dennis H]

Lucky Cadet. Has a real parent!

 

[super-bee_ski]

My eldest daughter that is in AFJROTC Cadet Leadership Camp shipped out Monday for her 2nd year much to her displeasure... Initially...
We got a call today that she was hurt, evidently yesterday they were on their 2 mile run and she rolled her ankle in a hole. She sucked it up and didn't say anything & completed the run and the rest of the day.
They start PT at 430 every morning and she was able to suck it up and no one noticed... Afterwards they started their run & was trying to make up time as she was lagging near the rear, ( shes a natural runner and is always in the top 5) when a friend saw her crying and reported her to the CTO who made her go to the medic.
They iced it and put a brace on and tried to see if she could make it and finally determined she could not continue despite her protest. I went downtown to pick her up and as soon as she saw me I could see her tearing up, not wanting her to break down in front of her Lt. Col, & Sgts I tried to say something funny not related to her injury to get her mind off of it.
I have never seen her so disapounted and heartbroken which killed me. She did not want to talk at all, which hurt me terribly. She came around this evening and vented to me, but my words of comfort were of little value at this point...She has come to the realization that she will never make "Endevour" (4th yr leadership cadet).
The daddy in .a wants to coddle her and baby her, then there is the part that wants to explain that some things are just not meant to be regardless of effort.
We had a long talk before she left and her lack of enthusiasm for this year was due to all of the yelling and screaming the CTOs do, I told her it was 5 days and to go take something positive from it all that she could apply to her new role/rank at school next year...she agreed and bought in and was actually having a good experience.... I hope I can keep her motivation up as she already stated now she does not want to go the next 2 yrs because she will not make the highest rank....
Any words of wisdom???? By the way she is ok just has a bad sprain, has to keep weight off for the next 3 days...

She is in the BEST HANDS POSSIBLE
She most likely has a "WARRIOR ATTITUDE" so, I personally think the ball is in her court.
Sounds to me like she is a achiever.

 

[5.7 hemi]

Have her get back on the perverbial horse. If she doesn’t, she always think “could I have done it”! Better to try and fail, than not try at all.

 

[Mike67]

Thanks Robby, I always ( or at least I think I have), tried to instill an ethic of effort, competion is fine and you can rationalize someone being stronger bigger faster, but you will never be able to rationalize a half hearted effort. I wanted her to know that regardless where she finished in anything, & that if she could look at herself in the mirror ,me in the eye and feel good saying she did her best and gave maiximum effort I would always be very proud.
Effort is everything....I think some of that has stuck...

 

[TrackPack]

I don't think you have anything to worry about. Sounds like she has a lot of heart.

 

[Mike67]

It's weird having 2 girls, Meghann now 16, has always been my tomboy, hunts, fishes, liked to do things around the shop ( not as much as she used too).
We have always horsed around going back to when we were taking Taekwondo. We would wrestle, spar, I would walk by and holler throat punch acting of course... She always took it as playing around but I had an agenda which was to make sure she was always prepared. That she knew how to get out of a choke hold, how to use people clothes against them, how to strike and how to be confident....so those were the tatics I would use in the past to get her over whatever was bothering her... They don't work anymore....I have a heartbroken young lady that I can't get to laugh her way past it...Its killing me !!!
I appreciate all of the kind words from everyone, makes me feel I'm on the right track.
Thanks again!

 

[JB400]

Rank means nothing as long as you got spirit.

 

[moparedtn]

Man, I can't begin to express how much the world needs more parents like you. I am impressed, to say the least.
As far as this particular challenge goes, when in a similar situation with young folks whether mine or not, I always fall back on probably the most important lesson I took away from my own father:
Life is going to knock you on your *** sometimes. That WILL happen, happens to the best of us.
The key is to get back up one more time than you go down.
Refuse to stay down; it's not an option.
Really is that simple.

 

[Ghostrider 67]

When counseling female and male soldiers under my leadership I always fell back on one thing. Do you want to have come all this way and then give up? Look back on your journey to come to this moment, are you going to throw all of that effort away because your ______ insert whatever, mad, sore, tired etc. This_______ will pass in a few minutes, hours and if you quit now you will forever look back and kick yourself for stopping. Succeeding in life means looking forward to the next challenge, not looking backward at your failures...

In addition, I always checked myself, with my children to be sure they were doing something because they wanted it, and not because I DID.

 

[Ghostrider 67]

Oh, and i'm glad her ankle is going to be okay. Mine hurts me every damn day and is a constant reminder of stuff I would rather forget.

 

[RT K_line]

It hurts us when our children are hurting, physically or emotionally. Give her some time to reflect and heal then talk to her. Let her know that we don’t always achieve the goals we set for ourselves as we expect too. But if you keep striving to be the best you will succeed. You can’t give up because of a setback. You usually end up regretting it. I think she will come around in time because of the example you have set for her thus far. I’m glad she wasn’t injured to badly too.

 

[Gone]

My brother, you need no words of wisdom. From what I can tell, the way your daughter comports herself is evidence enough that she is getting the right kind of parenting.

 

[Cranky]

Man, sounds like you have a good handle on this already and have a wife that lets you be a big part in your girl's lives. My youngest will be 30 in a couple of months and hasn't accomplished all the much and her mom is her best buddy. That's all I'm going to say about that but count your blessings because it sure sounds like there's plenty there!

 

[hanks73340]

. Great dad and great daughter. She will do right in your eyes. You raised her well.

 

[Johnpat]

I was told once the person that can be hardest
on you is yourself.
She sounds like a great young lady & I'm sure
she'll work it out.

 

[conv67bdere]

I know from conversations with you , Mike, that you're one heck of a person and dad too ! Don't think you need much "coaching" as you seem to have things already under control . . .

I know with me if you tell me I can't do something that I'm that much more adamant to push myself to prove you wrong . . . The biggest drive can only come from inside . . . And she's already shown that drive by trying to continue when she knew she was hurt . . .

Best of luck with her - that's one awesome daughter that you've raised there . . .

 

[NJRR]

My son and my daughter were both Varsity swimmers in high school. We had a championship team and most of the other swimmers were club swimmers also, but my kids weren't. They were both among the slower swimmers on the team. In the beginning, they were both very discouraged by the disparity between their times and the rest of their teammates and expressed a desire to quit saying they will never be the best or anywhere close, so why bother. The wife and I tried to explain to them that 1) the biggest challenge was to keep improving and be the best you can be and 2) when you have a team, not everyone can be the best and someone has to be near the bottom, but everyone matters on a team. Fast forward to their Junior and Senior years, they both swam in championship meets and scored points for their team !!! The lessons they learned from being on the team and being challenged have served them both well to this day.

Moral of the story is you don't have to be the best to be a valuable part of a team. It's great to strive for but not a reason to quit. Your daughter has a lot of gumption and I'm sure she will come out of the disappointment and push forward. Just be there to support her. I know how proud of her you are, for very good reason.