Old Age is Fun

[cr8crshr]

• 
  
  I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
  
  Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
  
  I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
  
  I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
  
  Old age is coming at a really bad time.
  
  When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
  
  The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
  
  I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.
  
  If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
  
  Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
  
  Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
  
  Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
  
  At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
  
  Actually, I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. And I don’t have acne. Life is great.
  
  I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names. Now, I’m wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?
  
  cr8crshr/Tuck

 

[oldbee]

LMAO, just great, just f------- great!

 

[khryslerkid]

 

[HEMI-ITIS]

LMOFL!!!
I peed like a 40 year old,,,,,this morning

 

[khryslerkid]

LMOFL!!!
I peed like a 40 year old,,,,,this morning

Lol, I Pooped Today!

 

[FJ6AAR]

Why did you red x this pushrod? I’d like to know.

 

[Sonny Black]

Why did you red x this pushrod? I’d like to know.

Sonny also would like to know!...????

best part.....
Actually, I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. And I don’t have acne. Life is great.

 

[JB400]

Why did you red x this pushrod? I’d like to know.

Peter Pan????

 

[coronet68mx]

Why did you red x this pushrod? I’d like to know.

Fat fingers and he didn't realize what he do because of old age I guess

 

[khryslerkid]

Why did you red x this pushrod? I’d like to know.

FFS Fat Finger Syndrome

 

[Brandy]

I often remember stuff i was supposed to do, days later, and then wonder if they still need to be done.

 

[bearman]

that's why we have text message so we don't forget. the other problem is remembering to charge it.

 

[Dibbons]

Those really hit home.

 

[Bill Monk]

Why did you red x this pushrod? I’d like to know.

He does that a lot

 

[Brandy]

With TBI AND over 60 I am screwed....lol.

 

[66383]

Very appropriate!!

 

[khryslerkid]

Three elderly gents sitting on a park bench. A young blonde lady walks by and the first gent says "I'd like to hug her!" The second gent says " I'd like to hug her and kiss her!" Then the third gent says "I'd like to hug her, kiss her and.....what was that other thing we use to do?"

 

[PeteBell68]

Thanks for the laughs needed those today .

 

[MarPar]

Sonny also would like to know!...????

best part.....
Actually, I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. And I don’t have acne. Life is great.

 

[69a100]

that's why we have text message so we don't forget. the other problem is remembering to charge it.

That's not a problem if you don't have one!