What does a Mechanic Say?

[Slap Stick]

If we can't fix it, you don't pay!

Not a paying customer for ages.

 

[Pops1967GTX]

 

[Andew Sury]

Couple of things I have come up with over my 32 years in mechaniking.
Really? That sucks
Things usually work pretty well up until the point they don't
When Unicef gets into the auto repair business, things will be different.
Horn don't work? Use your finger.
Those warning lights are for you, not for me.
And to my techs. If it was easy, they wouldn't need us.

Andy my wifes personal favorite.
Tires only go flat on the bottom.

 

[Pops1967GTX]

 

[BB BELLA]

"I took the plates off for a reason" "No your not driving this pos off my property"

the plumbing joke as I know it "**** runs down hill, paydays friday,don't bite your fingernails"

customer drove his boat for another hour after losing 1500 rpm "did you think you were running in thicker water"

 

[Cranky]

customer drove his boat for another hour after losing 1500 rpm "did you think you were running in thicker water"

LOL Gotta steal that one!

 

[Cranky]

being deaf I know my horn still works just fine by all the fingers that get pointed at me after laying on it for more than a few seconds

 

[BB BELLA]

I have an oldest son who's not mechanically inclined and has partial hearing loss, I have a hard time giving him **** for driving a car that needs work,he can't hear problems developing.

when my daughter and wife asked me when I'm getting rid of my old truck and getting a car. I tell them "when they make a porsche that can pull you A holes out of the ditch!

 

[Cranky]

I have an oldest son who's not mechanically inclined and has partial hearing loss, I have a hard time giving him **** for driving a car that needs work,he can't hear problems developing.

when my daughter and wife asked me when I'm getting rid of my old truck and getting a car. I tell them "when they make a porsche that can pull you A holes out of the ditch!

Usually people who lose one sense, the others become more sensitive. I knew a girl that was completely deaf and someone was sitting in her car and was revving the engine. The girl was out of the car and wasn't facing it as she was communicating with another but she felt the vibration, turned and tried to hit the one revving the engine and yelled 'stop it' lol She could talk but not real well. If you made some find of a noise behind her, she would know.

 

[barbee6043]

This Tx. county has 1 light.

It has 1 garage, run by 2 retired guys that work just for fun, they say.

Need a mechanic ? .. they say, If not working on a tractor, it costs you $70/hr.

Cheap fun

 

[slepr1]

"it's a ******* Dodge"

"why these dodge people make things so complicated?"

"Dodge costs more to fix"

 

[Kern Dog]

"it's a ******* Dodge"

"why these dodge people make things so complicated?"

The guy I used to see for exhaust work has said this before. I agree though. The A-body chassis is a pisser for exhaust work.

 

[Pops1967GTX]

 

[HEMI-ITIS]

Crack KILLS!

 

[khryslerkid]

 

[Ranger16]

 

[Duckmanreno]

Man are you F$&@#. I have never seen one of those.

A forklift mechanic looking at a hydraulic pump on a Datsun lift truck.

 

[Pops1967GTX]

 

[khryslerkid]

 

[HEMI-ITIS]

CAR TROUBLE,
Christine is

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, “What's the story?”
He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor.”
She asks, “How often do I have to do that?