Your one liners here......

[Sahara]

I’ve used this before here, but “If she had half a brain she’d at least have half a brain.”

 

[Beekeeper]

Harder than a minister’s prick at a double wedding

 

[Sahara]

This is so politically incorrect I’ll probably burn in hell, and only Canadians will probably get it, but I’ve actually used this one:

“Happier then a Newfie Priest in a bus load of orphans.”

I’m sorry, I can’t help myself.

 

[440Coronet500]

It's colder than a well diggers ***! 440'

 

[kiwigtx]

Sweating like a pedophile driving past a Primary School.

(In need of a beer) - My throat's so dry, I'm farting dust.

 

[dadsbee]

Never date a woman that is cross eyed, she might be seeing someone on the side !

 

[HawkRod]

I can fix broke - I can't fix stupid!

 

[440Coronet500]

More useless than tits on a bull! 440'

 

[Beekeeper]

Hotter than a two peckered billy goat!

 

[Beekeeper]

Handier than a pocket on a shirt

 

[FitzyB5]

That girls got a figure like the San Andreas freeway. No curves.
That boy is like a bit and brace. He bores me.
Foghorn Leghorn.

 

[ruffcut]

I use this all the time" If I can't fit it, it aint broke"

 

[1967coronet]

Family tree looks like a phone pole.

Need two of him to make a decent half wit.

 

[64BEL]

Why don't you let that cut under your nose heal.

 

[Red63440]

Its as useless as a screen door on a submarine.....

 

[hawkeye]

Rodney Dangerfield: My wife is such a bad cook, we pray after we eat.

 

[Chargered]

I'm older than dirt..............or I'm fine as frog's hair.

 

[chargervert]

That tires only flat on the bottom!

 

[F4R/T]

Hotter than a whore house on buck night
That’s useless as tits on a bull
He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on it

 

[eldubb440]

that sucks with sandpaper