I worked for law firms for almost 20 years and have heard most of 'em before. My personal favorite ...
A truck driver had been totally reamed in court during his divorce and developed a serious attitude towards lawyers. During his normal workday delivering downtown near the courthouse, he took every opportunity to run down every lawyer he saw.
One day while making his deliveries he saw a guy in a dark suit on the sidewalk off in the distance. As he always did, he kind of meandered the wheel toward him, fully intending to run him down. As he got closer though, he realized that it wasn't a lawyer -- it was a priest carrying a gas can. Instead of running him down with the truck, he pulled over and offered the priest a ride.
As they continued down the street toward the gas station, the truck driver noticed a guy in a suit on the sidewalk talking on his cell phone carrying a briefcase. "Ah haaaa, another one!" he thought to himself, and started letting the truck edge over toward the sidewalk while forgetting all about his passenger. Just at the last moment he remembered the holy man sitting next to him and sharply cut the wheel to the left.
Much to his dismay, he heard a loud thunk and felt the all-too-familiar bump.
"Oh my God! Father, I just hit that lawyer!" and he started to pull over.
The priest calmly looked at him and said "No, you didn't hit him. But I got him with the door."
