Your one liners here......

[alfaitalia]

I was wondering this morning "why does a snowball look bigger and bigger the nearer it gets to you?"
-
-
-Then it hit me.

 

[alfaitalia]

National diarrhea awareness week starts next Monday. Runs until Friday.

 

[alfaitalia]

My girlfriend left me because I was rubbish at leap-frog. I don’t think I’ll ever get over her now.

 

[alfaitalia]

For sale 1 x DeLorean, it's silver and the mileage is low as it has only been used from time to time.

 

[RAPID]

If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room

 

[Charles Cook]

Officer I’m not as think as you fucked up I am.

 

[HawkRod]

That car runs like a scared ape!

 

[Xp29h]

In school, I failed math so many times I can’t even count!

 

[moparwacko]

He's so poor he doesn't have a pot to piss in, or a window to throw it out of.

Use your head for something besides a hat rack.

Her *** is so big, when she walks it looks like 2 pigs fighting in a feed sack.

 

[Hey-O]

My neighbors wife is so big, her *** has Its own zip code.

 

[r4sedan]

My Mom used to say: **** or get off the pot.

 

[Richard Cranium]

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

 

[Charged440]

You know what they say about big hands and big feet,
big gloves and big shoes.

 

[Sahara]

If Barry Manilow is middle of the road, why doesn’t somebody run him over?

 

[Timmayy]

That woman is so loose, she goes down like the Titanic and spreads like butter.

 

[Timmayy]

Your Mama's so dumb, I said "Look at the dead bird" and she looked up.

 

[Timmayy]

That guy is so dumb, he can't count to 21 unless he's naked, and even then he only gets to 20 and a half.

 

[Sahara]

You know what they say about big hands and big feet,
big gloves and big shoes.

I’ve had size 12 or thirteen since I was a kid. Years ago at my family reunion somebody was kidding me about my feet. “You know what they say about guys with big feet..” I began, and my straight laced family stared at me in horror. “They say “man, that guys got big feet””.

 

[Charged440]

I’ve had size 12 or thirteen since I was a kid. Years ago at my family reunion somebody was kidding me about my feet. “You know what they say about guys with big feet..” I began, and my straight laced family stared at me in horror. “They say “man, that guys got big feet””.

More or less what happened to me once, they all look at you like you're going to drop a bomb but instead you finish it clean

 

[FitzyB5]

The weather man couldn’t forecast a fart in a **** house.