Do you dread family gatherings?

[mmissile]

Not much family left. I'm not an in-laws and kids kinda person. I don't hate them, just don't enjoy most gatherings.

 

[Kern Dog]

I try to host the family here for birthdays, Summer bar b ques and Christmas.
I must have been going through a darker period in 2017 when I first started this topic because I do enjoy the get-togethers nowadays.

 

[dadsbee]

We get older and it starts meaning more!

That said I tired quickly some 35/40 years ago, expected to be both at my parents and Wife's parents on Christmas day. Hell they were only 6 hours apart and us 1.5 hours from the first one, but my old '77 Ramcharger locked up in 4 HI got us there. LOL I don't miss that at all! Wife's parents are still with us, but her Dad is in Florida all Winter and her Mom I threw out of the house in '89... so life is good! LOL

 

[Richard Cranium]

please do not bring up politics at the table, it can ruin your Appetite..

View attachment 1949233


Edited by not so Phantom of Moderators..... trying to keep politics out of this thread. Thanks.

Post the unedited picture in the appropriate forum. Please.

 

[cosgig]

Our holiday routine has changed in the past couple years. My MIL passed away 2 years ago, and we always spent Christmas Eve at her house. The kids loved it, and the food and company was good. Christmas is spent at my Moms house, and I cook a prime rib, football and left/right/center was always played after dinner. This year and from now on will be a tough one on the holidays with Nellas passing away. My Mom is not doing well with that, and my wife is still completely devastated. Nella loved Christmas, now with her gone, I just don’t know how we’re going to get through the holidays. I’m going to put ketchup on my Turkey this year in memory of her, she hated gravy, but loved ketchup, even on her Turkey. We’re just going to do our best to get through this year.

 

[Mackman]

With our parents gone, my wife has assumed the role of patriarch of the family. She has two sisters and two brothers, and we are close with the nieces and nephews. We’ll have 21 here for Thanksgiving, and tho it’s very crowded in our small house, we all look forward to it. Same numbers on Christmas Eve.

 

[Triplegreen500]

We lost Dad in '16. Moms 88 now and still ornery as ever, she'll probably see 108! She's in FL , I'm in MD. She's got a bf who's a mooch. Lazy mf. Comes to the kitchen in the morning and sits his *** at the table...and waits. For his coffee. For his bagel/muffin. For his meds. For his juice. I get on the mountain bike for a few miles when he mouths off to her, just so I don't drag him into the middle of the road and beat him to death.

It's just me and her. I'm an only child. Got lots of extended fam on her side (her late brothers kids) also in FL, but mom and I are kinda outside their close orbit. I'm close with a couple cousins, but there's 6 cousins and about 98 cousin-kids (grand cousins?) who also have a metric **** ton of kids....and we really aren't that close. Not animosity, just...distance, and differences (career, politics, etc).

I don't have kids. Michelle has 2. Son, married and in NC. Daughter, getting ready to graduate college in TX. Her folks are long gone. One of her brothers just (like, Friday) passed; she has another brother and a sister but similarly...just distant. Not a dislike, just..logistics.

Michelle and I visit my mom annually for "a" holiday, either turkey day or Christmas. Mom won't travel anymore. We have a good time, and we value the time, but the logistics and the distance (and the asshat boyfriend - who mom knows I don't like at all) all conspire to keep it to an annual visit instead of monthly, or semiannually... but, with the passing of Freddy this week and some job changes on my end (3 months working in Miami), things may change in the coming year. I know I'll be visiting Mom more often while I'm down south.

My family was never huge on holidays. Dad was first gen American/German, and very not big on feelings. Mom liked the idea, but never really went nuts with stuff (food, decorations, etc). It was just.... Thursday, or an extra mass. Michelle's used to be, but again - logistics. And, much as she loves cooking and decorating, it's not really worth it for....me. Kids are distant, parents gone, sibs are distant....and cooking for 2 sucks almost as much as cooking for one.

So, we don't really "dread" holidays...they're just logistically challenging due to distances. Mom and I are 100% on the same page politically, and we don't give a **** if anyone disagrees with us, so that part at least is always fun! Even moms bf is learning to keep his trap shut around me about things...I just remind him whose house he lives in, and he all of a sudden "is ready for bed". Mom gets it, but she's a caretaker personality (former nurse/PT) and it's just her default so I let it slide (and have access to all her accounts to keep an eye on things).

 

[icetech]

I don't do them... i work 65+ hours a week i get one day off.. i do things i need to get done at home then relax...

 

[Richard Cranium]

We’re currently on a 10 day cruise to the Bahamas, coming back on the 23rd, so we celebrated turkey day two Saturdays ago. Worked out better for us because everyone was able to make it and no after-trip stress for my wife. Just docked in St. Maarten.

 

[copper67sat]

We moved 1200 miles away from the "family hub" 38 yrs ago for my job and, for the most part, are the ones who have to travel if we want to be with family at the holidays. We used to love spending time with everyone and miss it, but really hate traveling during the holidays. My mother's family is Sicilian so the get-togethers were large and loud with lots of extended family. That lasted until my grandparents and their generation passed and then each of the family groups started doing their own thing.

We never traveled home at Thanksgiving so we started our own Friendsgiving - mostly friends from the Mopar club. Everyone used to come to our house for turkey on Thursday then we'd caravan up to Daytona Beach for the Turkey Rod Run at the speedway. That group splintered as folks moved away so we started heading to Daytona and day earlier and meeting up with a much smaller group there.

With no children of our own, Christmas is a whole different thing. It feels weird when it's just the wife and I and the dog. Hardly feels like a holiday. We had a friend group that would get together and that helped, but the "glue" in that group passed in 2019 and we've all gone our separate ways since. Family always wants us to come up but air travel is such a hassle that time of year and I can't usually take enough time off work to fly on "off days" away from the holiday. We used to drive but that takes 2 days coming and going. Don't think I could do the marathon straight thru drive anymore and that still left me wiped the next day so it really wasn't better than taking 2 days other than saving the hotel cost. Might start doing that again when I retire and schedule isn’t a issue anymore.

The one thing I never liked about having both our families in the same area was having to split time and drive all over to see everyone. Over the years, they've spread even farther apart which makes me want to do that even less though I do miss the gatherings.

 

[Moms68]

I am also an only child and both my parents passed years ago. My wife has a large family, 4 sisters and 2 brothers. We have 3 sons, and 2 grandsons. Numerous nieces and nephews, and my son’s in-laws. We always host Thanksgiving. This year almost everyone will be here, relatives who live in Switzerland, and a nephew that sails the world 9 months of the year. Probably about 25 people.

It’s a fun group, mostly a younger crowd now and we enjoy it. My wife goes into crazy cleaning mode for a good month prior which gets a bit too much but overall it’s a good time, a little stressful prepping and cooking for a large group.

 

[Black_Sheep]

I did at the time, but now my folks are gone, so is my younger brother. Sis moved to Tennessee and our kids alternate years with their significant others families. The family gatherings I once dreaded have somehow become fond memories…

 

[jimkf]

Mom, dad and my two sisters, as well as all of the aunts and uncles, are gone now and my brother lives on the other side of the continent and can't travel due to health issues so holidays around here are now with the Brady Bunch family my wife and I have assembled. The kids are great and we enjoy the time with them but it isn't the same as the gatherings years ago. The laughs, beers, cigarette smoke and card games meant late nights at our house - we had the largest so we usually hosted.

I'd give anything for one more just like that.

 

[Cranky]

I used to dread ALL gatherings

But as I got older I realized, you have 2 Families: The Family you're born into, and the Family you make.

With a few exceptions, the Family I was born into sucks. I'll leave it at that.

The Family we've made is awesome. And I love them with my whole heart. Our kids, friends, MOPAR buddies, neighbors...This is our tribe. And amazingly, now I don't dread gatherings anymore. It's all positive in this House.

Just my wife and me and her daughter who is disabled. She still gets around pretty good thou....Going to do a roast for Thankgiving.

Our holiday routine has changed in the past couple years. My MIL passed away 2 years ago, and we always spent Christmas Eve at her house. The kids loved it, and the food and company was good. Christmas is spent at my Moms house, and I cook a prime rib, football and left/right/center was always played after dinner. This year and from now on will be a tough one on the holidays with Nellas passing away. My Mom is not doing well with that, and my wife is still completely devastated. Nella loved Christmas, now with her gone, I just don’t know how we’re going to get through the holidays. I’m going to put ketchup on my Turkey this year in memory of her, she hated gravy, but loved ketchup, even on her Turkey. We’re just going to do our best to get through this year.

My wife likes ketchup too and taught me what else is good with it lol

We lost Dad in '16. Moms 88 now and still ornery as ever, she'll probably see 108! She's in FL , I'm in MD. She's got a bf who's a mooch. Lazy mf. Comes to the kitchen in the morning and sits his *** at the table...and waits. For his coffee. For his bagel/muffin. For his meds. For his juice. I get on the mountain bike for a few miles when he mouths off to her, just so I don't drag him into the middle of the road and beat him to death.

It's just me and her. I'm an only child. Got lots of extended fam on her side (her late brothers kids) also in FL, but mom and I are kinda outside their close orbit. I'm close with a couple cousins, but there's 6 cousins and about 98 cousin-kids (grand cousins?) who also have a metric **** ton of kids....and we really aren't that close. Not animosity, just...distance, and differences (career, politics, etc).

I don't have kids. Michelle has 2. Son, married and in NC. Daughter, getting ready to graduate college in TX. Her folks are long gone. One of her brothers just (like, Friday) passed; she has another brother and a sister but similarly...just distant. Not a dislike, just..logistics.

Michelle and I visit my mom annually for "a" holiday, either turkey day or Christmas. Mom won't travel anymore. We have a good time, and we value the time, but the logistics and the distance (and the asshat boyfriend - who mom knows I don't like at all) all conspire to keep it to an annual visit instead of monthly, or semiannually... but, with the passing of Freddy this week and some job changes on my end (3 months working in Miami), things may change in the coming year. I know I'll be visiting Mom more often while I'm down south.

My family was never huge on holidays. Dad was first gen American/German, and very not big on feelings. Mom liked the idea, but never really went nuts with stuff (food, decorations, etc). It was just.... Thursday, or an extra mass. Michelle's used to be, but again - logistics. And, much as she loves cooking and decorating, it's not really worth it for....me. Kids are distant, parents gone, sibs are distant....and cooking for 2 sucks almost as much as cooking for one.

So, we don't really "dread" holidays...they're just logistically challenging due to distances. Mom and I are 100% on the same page politically, and we don't give a **** if anyone disagrees with us, so that part at least is always fun! Even moms bf is learning to keep his trap shut around me about things...I just remind him whose house he lives in, and he all of a sudden "is ready for bed". Mom gets it, but she's a caretaker personality (former nurse/PT) and it's just her default so I let it slide (and have access to all her accounts to keep an eye on things).

Had a brother in law that was a mooch.....but he's part of the family that divorced me in 17. Well, I let him know well before 17 that he wasn't welcome in my home. And I like your style. I put up with a lot of crap with my X but I guess she got tired of my not putting up with it anymore starting around 15. She thinks she hurt me by taking pretty much nothing but the money but the joke's on her.