I am not sure but I find myself being very protective as to how I am with others.
Greetings sir and thanks for posting. I appreciate that.

Yes, the natural reaction would be to have a guarded, self-protective sort of demeanor.
That's logical - we are hard-wired to be that way, really - and I was for quite some time in my own life.
You know what changed that for me, though?
Going to sound overly-dramatic....but dying a few times had a bit of an effect on my outlook.
Not even kidding - and keep in mind, there may have been some physiological changes inside this carcass
with all the medical events, I'll acknowledge - but coming out the other side of dodging death more than
once has rendered me more determined than ever to enjoy other folks whenever possible.
Yes, that sometimes leads to some surly bastahd saying or doing something hateful towards me; some folks
are grumpy as hell by nature, after all.
The old me would have taken such to heart...
Not so much now, though. If someone else wants to be miserable, that's their problem - and if I can do
something to help (and they're receptive, of course), hey I'm all about that.
BUT...
To the relatively tiny number of people still alive that I actually give a damn about their opinions, yeah -
those still hurt when they're negative towards me.
The "I don't give a fluck" is harder to summon when it's concerning someone we care/think a lot of...
and that's perfectly natural too, I suppose.