Your one liners here......

[Charles Cook]

I’m broker than a tooth fairy in a meth house.

 

[Photon440]

(Tom Waits) I ordered a Chicken Catastrophe and Eggs Overwhelming and a tall, cool Janitor-in-a-Drum, and she poured a cup of coffee that was too weak to defend itself.

 

[SattyNoCar]

(After dealing with HR at work regarding a problem) 'Well, THAT was as effective as a fart in a hurricane'

 

[Meep-Meep]

Her *** is so big that when she hauls *** she has to make two trips!

 

[chargervert]

My wife said she want's to have sex in the backseat of the car,she wants me to drive! Classic Rodney!

 

[Budnicks]

You F--ked that **** up...

 

[SSmoothie]

If she had as many pricks sticking out her as she has had in her. She would look like a porcupine.

 

[Budnicks]

a 2 at 9:00pm is a 7 at 2:00am closing, beer goggles work

 

[eldubb440]

a 2 at 9:00pm is a 7 at 2:00am closing, beer goggles work

NO

 

[Budnicks]

I actually think it goes;
a 2 at 10, is a 10 at 2...
I gave her a 7, with an extra hr...

NO

I know how gross

 

[eldubb440]

that's why I don't drink

 

[Kern Dog]

Today was so windy, I saw a chicken lay the same egg 3 times.

 

[kiwigtx]

If she had as many pricks sticking out her as she has had in her. She would look like a porcupine.

That's the good thing about a Porsche ....all the pricks are on the inside.

 

[kiwigtx]

I told my girlfriend I wanted to kiss her where it smells, so I drove her to the Garbage Dump.

 

[kiwigtx]

Hagar the Horrible (cartoon character) -

"Always wash your hands before eating....you get a better grip on your food."

 

[Mopar Hunter]

***, Gas or Grass, nobody rides for free!

I saw this on a bumper sticker on a 70’s van at a car show.

 

[Kern Dog]

She has the perfect face for radio.

 

[chargervert]

There's a bar uptown where,they liquor in the front and poker in the rear!

 

[alfaitalia]

People are often shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician.

 

[alfaitalia]

My dad was old when Pontius Pilate was still an Air Cadet!