Always a good deer camp story!
Well all right then, I don't know if I've told this one before here but here goes:
Some years ago, I was out of town for work and my wife was out here on the ridge on her own -
during hunting season, of course...as in open season.
Pretty normal to hear gunfire up and down the valley that time of year.
I'm about back to the hotel from some late work when I get a call from her - and she's not happy.
At all...
Seems she's heard something up behind the house on the ridge somewhere, so she grabs her
favorite .357Mag (well, it
used to be mine until she took a liking to it, anyways) and heads out,
flashlight and dog in tow AND manipulating the phone, all at the same time.
Of course, it's nighttime and she's in the open....and whoever is up in the forest of trees.
She's telling me what's going on - and about the time I was ready to tell her she's just being
paranoid, I hear her start a freaking
conversation with someone there, real or imagined...
she's barking out her rehearsed "property is posted, we don't allow hunting" at whoever it was.
Well, things apparently got heated real quick....
She's a redhead, things can go that route if she feels she's not being listened to - which apparently,
the unknown other party was not doing to her satisfaction.
I'm listening to all this and thinking "oh ****...."
You know, because I
know what's coming next. Oy.
Next thing I know, she's yelling at them to "get the f- off my property. NOW!"
She says whoever it is now is laughing at her - there's more than one of them and they're giving her
**** in return....
At that point, I'm trying to get her to listen to me, to calm down and get her arse back in the house
and call the cops.
Nope....she's genuinely PISSED now...

Then I hear it - point blank over the phone, I start hearing the unmistakable sound of that pistol going
to work.
A LOT... Oh Lord....
Now I'm hollering in the phone: "Baby, they can see YOU just fine. YOU CAN'T SEE THEM!"
It gets real quiet on the line for a bit...
She finally comes back on and says they whooped and hollered and she could hear them running back over
the fence line to the neighbors' property, so I guess she was satisfied with that.
Good Lord. What if she had HIT anyone? What if they had SHOT BACK?
She finally tells me she's back in the house....and is reloading, like I taught her. God help me...

Story's not over there, though...
A week or two later, I'm back in town and doing some work in a local industrial park, in one customers' factory.
I get thirsty and head over to their break area to hit up a soda machine and there's miscellaneous employees
standing around in small groups, yakking about this and that....when I overhear a rather animated conversation
between three fellas.
The one guy is telling his friends about a recent hunting day and as the conversation goes, I realize he's talking
about being out towards my place.
Yep, you guessed it....turns out, it was one of the guys my wife took pot shots at that night.

The guys are snickering and laughing it up, saying how funny it all was that they were messing with my wife
and how she wasn't
really trying to shoot them, just scare them and how as hunters, apparently they have
every right to go wherever they like to hunt.
As I'm listening to this, I sort of meander over to the group (I know a couple of them a little) and I'm grinning
too, like I'm in on the joke so I can sort of join them.
But when Mr. Storyteller says something like "that crazy b- wasn't REALLY trying to shoot us..." well, that was
enough for me.
I drop my grin, give him my best Eastwood squint and growl real quiet-like "damn right she was trying to kill you."
ALL the grins dropped in that group at that point...
Mr. Storyteller says "uh Ed, how do you know who I'm talking about?"
I said, still in Eastwood mode "that crazy b- is my wife - and she told you to get off our property."
Break time was over at that point.
Funny thing about that night, several years ago....
We haven't had any issues with trespassing from anyone since.
Go figure.
