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For the humble FBBO members: Tell your embarrassing stories !

66 Sat said:
1990! Haha. If it was 1960 I could understand, but that's not the point. It's the regaling of it now, with no consideration of anyone else. It's flat out racist. How many members here are black and wouldn't appreciate your story? If you ask for some technical advice on here do you check the profiles of the responders first and ignore anyone who isn't white?
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You are confused. THings may be different in Australia so take that into consideration.
HERE in the USA, some black people are easily offended by stereotypes. It is a stereotype that Black people like watermelons. Do I really have to explain this to you? Are you really this dense?
It would be like asking an Irish guy where the nearest bar is.
Step back. Start your own thread and show people how WOKE and enlightened you are.
There is no racism or malice in here. YOU are trying to bring it.
 
66 Sat said:
1990! Haha. If it was 1960 I could understand, but that's not the point. It's the regaling of it now, with no consideration of anyone else. It's flat out racist. How many members here are black and wouldn't appreciate your story? If you ask for some technical advice on here do you check the profiles of the responders first and ignore anyone who isn't white?
Click to expand...
Please lighten up on Kern dog, and let's have fun with the topic. We have all have had or done things that we are not proud of or are embarrassed by. When I posted my reply to Kern dog, I thought he might be upset with that. This is a multi national, multi race, forum. Everything said is sometimes not like it sounds.
 
beanhead said:
Farting on a date.....that's embarrassing. Done it.:(
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I was on a date with a really pretty woman and it was going quite well.....but toward the end of dinner, my stomach was protesting the meal. I had to cut the date short.
Sister set the date up for me and said later that the woman was insulted that I ducked out early. How do you explain that you are afraid of what your *** might have done ??
 
I live on the outskirts of town. Well, my wife and I had a celebration on the back porch for our 28th anniversary last year. Very near the same time, one of our yorkies was injured in the front yard. Upon viewing all of the video cameras, and finding our poor dog, Mopar was his name, was attacked and killed by a coyote, our adult children were shocked to see that we celebrated our anniversary very near the same time. Needless to say, the video was erased and my children are now scarred forever.. not only by the actions of their parents, but also by that damned coyote!! I have learned to review all outside videos before displaying them to the public at large. Although, I have to admit.....NO RAGERTS!! hahahaha... and no, I will not be posting any screenshots.
Thank you for the great question.
 
Kern Dog said:
I was on a date with a really pretty woman and it was going quite well.....but toward the end of dinner, my stomach was protesting the meal. I had to cut the date short.
Sister set the date up for me and said later that the woman was insulted that I ducked out early. How do you explain that you are afraid of what your *** might have done ??
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:lol:
 
I don't remember that scene! This is very much how my situation could have played out!
 
beanhead said:
Farting on a date.....that's embarrassing. Done it.:(
Click to expand...
Without going into too much detail....I have also done that.
With a gf previous to my wife ...she was giving me a goodbye BJ in the back of her car, as I was flying out home later on.
Without any warning, I had the most violently loud and dry fart imaginable exit me, as she was going down.
Vinyl seats and and that fart made for an incredible sound. I couldn't stop laughing...and needless to say that was the end of the entertainment on that occasion. :D
 
I have told this one before....but it's worth another run....

Back in around 1993, while working in London (England), I had a need for a tetanus booster shot. I had cut myself on the arm at work, and I knew I hadn't had one since childhood. So I call into my Dr on the way to work the next day. The Receptionist told me to go around and see the Nurse.
I get in the room, and the Nurse says to me to get ready, as she was getting the injection sorted out.

When she turned around, I had my shorts and underwear around my ankles, and I was bent over the bed - exposing my *** and tackle.

Horrified, she yelled to me - "Mr L***, we give tetanus in the arm these days. Put your pants back on!"

I chuckled a bit, she not so much. It was a very stony silent transaction to pay for that visit. :D
 
A couple of years earlier I was in another part of London, working at an IBM Training facility. As an electrician, I was quite often performing work in empty classrooms, and occasional general maintenance tasks in the building. One day I was in the lift, going to a small job with a colleague...so we were chatting away as usual.

A woman gets in the lift at the ground level with us, and hears us talking. Must have heard my Kiwi accent.

She turns to me and asks "Where abouts are you from?"

I replied "The basement."

Silence. :)
 
When I was with the first wife a couple of years before we were married, we were at Mom and Dad's getting ready to have dinner. Mom said to me..."You have scratches on your knee......Look, both knees are scratched..."
(This was from banging my girlfriend doggy style.)
The girlfriend started to blush and look away. I was grinning. "How did that happen...?"
Mom suddenly clued in to what was going on.
We never spoke of that again.
 
I used to be on call for problem alligators 24 hrs and would need to get up in the middle of the night to run a Law Enforcement call. I had Icy Hot to put on my feet and anti chaffing cream where my pants rubbed. Early one morning I grabbed the wrong one first and ended up back in the shower scrubbing Icy Hot off my crotch.
 
I had a DERP moment a while back. It was 2 days before my oldest kids birthday. The wife brings home a cake and tells me to stick it in the garage fridge. So I did just that. Fast forward to the birthday party. The wife says hey go get the cake out of the freezer. So, I go down to the fridge and pull the cake out and it was moving around like Jello.. I yell up to her and say, hey honey is the cake supposed to jiggle She says no its an icecream cake. Needless to say I had to run up to the Kroger and get another and begged the woman to replicate that cake. In short sometimes you only half hear your woman.. I heard fridge she said freezer.. So the end result was me rushing to the store to get a new one..
 
Two summers ago when I first acquired my buddies Charger, I had done a ton of work to it. Two of my buddies and me decided to head to the cruise night about 45 min. away so we met at my one buddies house. My buddy has a Daytona and the other a lil' red express pickup. We head out down the road and as we are cruising I dropped my water bottle. My buddy in the Daytona is in front of me and the Lil' red is behind. This is a two lane road for each direction so 4 lanes wide, but its only 40 MPH so its in a rural country area. Anyways, I reach down for two seconds to grab my water bottle and when I did I must of leaned to the right on the wheel. When I popped back up, I was heading towards the shoulder on the right side and there was no time for heading back. I popped up on the curb through a driveway cutout and then cruised on the dusty grass until the next driveway exit and popped back on the road. My *** was puckered at this point and all I was praying for is the car was fine. So we pull into the cruise and we all park next to eachother and I had to scrub the cuff marks off the sidewalls of the tire, but that was all it did to the car. My buddy who was in the Daytona said....."Hey I looked in my mirror and saw Bo duke in the grass and was like where the F**k were you goin!?!" We chuckled and my other bud walked up and said just because you bought a Charger doesn't mean you have to jump it and slide through the dirt!. I told them the story and they said this is one of those stories that stays between us hahaha! I bring it up now and then and we laugh about it. Here is a pic of the Daytona and Charger together before the off roading event lmao!

daytona1.jpg
daytona2.jpg
 
I can add to this.Years back I went to get some blood work done,the tech was pretty I thought she was pregnant,so I ask her how far along she was,her reply was I am not PREGNANT.
 
I had my GTX parked outside overnight a few year back, all washed up and ready to just jump in and go the next day. When I went out there were cat prints all over it. I know who did it, it was our cat, so I gather him up, put him on the hood, and give him a spank on the butt. He proceeded to make a hasty exit, but traction on a clean washed hood wasn’t up to his exit strategy, so he employed the claws and scratched the heck out of the hood during his getaway. Who learned a lesson here? This guy, not him!

picture of the perp in question!....

D733F293-3A0B-412E-85F5-9253CF7FDF71.jpeg
 
cosgig said:
I had my GTX parked outside overnight a few year back, all washed up and ready to just jump in and go the next day. When I went out there were cat prints all over it. I know who did it, it was our cat, so I gather him up, put him on the hood, and give him a spank on the butt. He proceeded to make a hasty exit, but traction on a clean washed hood wasn’t up to his exit strategy, so he employed the claws and scratched the heck out of the hood during his getaway. Who learned a lesson here? This guy, not him!

picture of the perp in question!....
ya looks like a trouble maker.

View attachment 913547
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Kern dogs post #7. Calling current wife by ex-wife name. I did the same thing but only ONCE !
 
kiwigtx said:
Without going into too much detail....I have also done that.
With a gf previous to my wife ...she was giving me a goodbye BJ in the back of her car, as I was flying out home later on.
Without any warning, I had the most violently loud and dry fart imaginable exit me, as she was going down.
Vinyl seats and and that fart made for an incredible sound. I couldn't stop laughing...and needless to say that was the end of the entertainment on that occasion. :D
Click to expand...
You should have said, "That's not what you think it was".
 
I was working on a Guitar Center store 8 years ago. The rear entry door was locked due to a previous guy running from the cops and used our construction site as a path to enter and exit while running from the police. I'm telling you this to setup the next portion of the story. I had to go up a 40 foot ladder to work on the roof top ac around the back side of the building. I was up there doing my job installing the ac disconnect and suddenly was struck with gurgle gut. So in order for me to be able to get to the bathroom, I would have had to go down the ladder and walk around the building which the guitar center was located right in the center of the shopping plaza. So its a long way back to the restroom. I got desperate and looked around at the near by high rise buildings and was thinking there is no way I can make it back down and around to the bathroom. I saw all the buildings around me and knew I couldn't drop drawers on the rooftop without being seen by the high rise buildings.

Then I had a thought.. These damn AC units are huge and have big doors.. I opened the door and it shielded me from the sight of the highrises.. I could no longer wait. I dropped drawers and did what I had to do right there on the roof.. Which was quite embarrassing to have to do but I had no choice. So while i was looking around thinking I was going to have to remove my T-Shirt and use that to cleanup... I noticed a bag inside the AC unit.. It had nuts and bolts in it.. I was like Hell Yea... Turns out it was burlap and as rough as 40 grit sand paper. But It was either that or my t-shirt. This was not a fun day to say the least. Thank god nobody saw me.
 
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