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Mar 19, 2024
ANAHEIM, CA — Residents breathed a collective sigh of relief today as news broke that the city would finally be getting that 473rd vape shop it had so desperately needed.
Concern had grown in recent months that the 472 previously existing vape shops would not be sufficient to serve the needs of the community, leading citizens to celebrate the welcome addition of the 473rd vape shop.
"Thank God!" one resident said when he was told of the 473rd vape shop's imminent opening. "We were on the brink of societal collapse over here looking like some third-world country with only 472 vape shops. My family and I were sitting around the dinner table last night talking about how far the world has fallen, and how we may need to surrender to despair, but thankfully there is now hope for our city with this 473rd vape shop. It fills a huge, gaping void in the town."
A spokesperson for the Chamber of Commerce said there was full agreement during a special emergency session to unanimously approve the establishment of the 473rd vape shop. "It had to be done," she said. "Without the opening of this vape shop, the city would enter into a death spiral from which it would never recover. There is clearly enough demand for a 473rd vape shop and enough customers to keep them all in business, so we're confident these shops aren't a front for anything else."
At publishing time, the 473rd vape shop had announced it would only be open Tuesday through Thursday, between the hours of 11 AM and 2 PM.
ANAHEIM, CA — Residents breathed a collective sigh of relief today as news broke that the city would finally be getting that 473rd vape shop it had so desperately needed.
Concern had grown in recent months that the 472 previously existing vape shops would not be sufficient to serve the needs of the community, leading citizens to celebrate the welcome addition of the 473rd vape shop.
"Thank God!" one resident said when he was told of the 473rd vape shop's imminent opening. "We were on the brink of societal collapse over here looking like some third-world country with only 472 vape shops. My family and I were sitting around the dinner table last night talking about how far the world has fallen, and how we may need to surrender to despair, but thankfully there is now hope for our city with this 473rd vape shop. It fills a huge, gaping void in the town."
A spokesperson for the Chamber of Commerce said there was full agreement during a special emergency session to unanimously approve the establishment of the 473rd vape shop. "It had to be done," she said. "Without the opening of this vape shop, the city would enter into a death spiral from which it would never recover. There is clearly enough demand for a 473rd vape shop and enough customers to keep them all in business, so we're confident these shops aren't a front for anything else."
At publishing time, the 473rd vape shop had announced it would only be open Tuesday through Thursday, between the hours of 11 AM and 2 PM.
