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City Finally Gets 473rd Vape Shop It So Desperately Needed

Richard Cranium

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Mar 19, 2024

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ANAHEIM, CA — Residents breathed a collective sigh of relief today as news broke that the city would finally be getting that 473rd vape shop it had so desperately needed.
Concern had grown in recent months that the 472 previously existing vape shops would not be sufficient to serve the needs of the community, leading citizens to celebrate the welcome addition of the 473rd vape shop.

"Thank God!" one resident said when he was told of the 473rd vape shop's imminent opening. "We were on the brink of societal collapse over here looking like some third-world country with only 472 vape shops. My family and I were sitting around the dinner table last night talking about how far the world has fallen, and how we may need to surrender to despair, but thankfully there is now hope for our city with this 473rd vape shop. It fills a huge, gaping void in the town."

A spokesperson for the Chamber of Commerce said there was full agreement during a special emergency session to unanimously approve the establishment of the 473rd vape shop. "It had to be done," she said. "Without the opening of this vape shop, the city would enter into a death spiral from which it would never recover. There is clearly enough demand for a 473rd vape shop and enough customers to keep them all in business, so we're confident these shops aren't a front for anything else."

At publishing time, the 473rd vape shop had announced it would only be open Tuesday through Thursday, between the hours of 11 AM and 2 PM.
 
Mar 19, 2024

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ANAHEIM, CA — Residents breathed a collective sigh of relief today as news broke that the city would finally be getting that 473rd vape shop it had so desperately needed.
Concern had grown in recent months that the 472 previously existing vape shops would not be sufficient to serve the needs of the community, leading citizens to celebrate the welcome addition of the 473rd vape shop.

"Thank God!" one resident said when he was told of the 473rd vape shop's imminent opening. "We were on the brink of societal collapse over here looking like some third-world country with only 472 vape shops. My family and I were sitting around the dinner table last night talking about how far the world has fallen, and how we may need to surrender to despair, but thankfully there is now hope for our city with this 473rd vape shop. It fills a huge, gaping void in the town."

A spokesperson for the Chamber of Commerce said there was full agreement during a special emergency session to unanimously approve the establishment of the 473rd vape shop. "It had to be done," she said. "Without the opening of this vape shop, the city would enter into a death spiral from which it would never recover. There is clearly enough demand for a 473rd vape shop and enough customers to keep them all in business, so we're confident these shops aren't a front for anything else."

At publishing time, the 473rd vape shop had announced it would only be open Tuesday through Thursday, between the hours of 11 AM and 2 PM.
Looks like an article from the Babylon Bee.
 
If the rest of them weren’t actually slot parlors it might not be needed.
 
Thank God... Things were getting pretty desperate... Thankfully here in the Central Valley we are blessed with plenty of Vape shops as well as medical marijuana dispensary's... Life is better when your stoned beyond conscience...
 
What a messed up place, so glad we moved away.

I do miss Spring and Fall Fling though.
 
Thank God... Things were getting pretty desperate... Thankfully here in the Central Valley we are blessed with plenty of Vape shops as well as medical marijuana dispensary's... Life is better when your stoned beyond conscience...
Same here in the sinking ship state of Illinois. Vape shops and marijuana shops are among the few industries that are going strong. Add to that list a few casinos, most everything else is boarding up their buildings and moving to Texas, Florida or South Carolina.
 
Same here in the sinking ship state of Illinois. Vape shops and marijuana shops are among the few industries that are going strong. Add to that list a few casinos, most everything else is boarding up their buildings and moving to Texas, Florida or South Carolina.
Yup.. Why have a job & support your family when you can collect government assistance and get stoned... If the government assistance isn't enough you can always rob & steal from the normies... Afterall there are no legal consequences... And if the normies happen to catch you, you can always sue them.... Mental distress is real...
 
I forgot to mention tattoo parlors. That is yet another healthy industry in Illinois. Get stoned, get a tat, if you have any of your assistance check still left, head off to the casino! Like living in paradise.
 
I forgot to mention tattoo parlors. That is yet another healthy industry in Illinois. Get stoned, get a tat, if you have any of your assistance check still left, head off to the casino! Like living in paradise.
Yup, got a tattoo shop about a half mile away... Mostly a hangout spot for the junkies... Three fentanyl deaths on their entryway so far this year... Always a few zombies hanging around...
 
Calm down fellas.
It's satirical.
Take a deep breathe and relax :lol:

Edit: "breath" not "breathe"
 
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I bet we have more here in Florida! Gas stations and fast food restaurants are being converted like no tomorrow! LOL!
 
Yeah, satire is funny, and I'm sure we all know it was meant as satire.... But this stuff just ain't funny...
 
Trouble is, it's not Very satirical. Satire too close to the truth is difficult to discern.
.

Yeah, satire is funny, and I'm sure we all know it was meant as satire.... But this stuff just ain't funny...

I understand. No harm intended.

Hopefully you at least got my attempt at humor with "take a deep breathe and relax". :poke:

Edit: "breath" not "breathe"
 
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They have a long way to go to overtake
Nail Salons in strip malls. :rofl:
 
I understand. No harm intended.

Hopefully you at least got my attempt at humor with "take a deep breathe and relax". :poke:
Oh, yeah.. I try to laugh at most stuff.. Some folks are wayyy to serious.. I don't mean to come off as not laughing but damn, this stuff has really gotten outta control... Keep them stoned and stupid...
 
Most likely the tax revenue from the Vape shop generates more funds. Along the line of pot shops etc. Push out the existing businesses with higher tax/permit fees and bring in the deep pockets.
 
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