Words and phrases that make me laugh.

[moparwacko]

Old Lineman had hundreds of them
"Use your head for something besides a hat rack"
" on the totem pole of life you're whale ****, and that's at the bottom of the ocean "
" opinions are like ********, everyone's got one and nobody wants anything to do with the next guys"
"He's a porkchopper" referring to upper management.
"Flatter than piss on a rock"
" he's so wound up he's like a beagle in a box full of bunnies"
"Flatlanders"
"Your family tree's been pruned too many times "
"He works slower than a hit n miss"

 

[kiwigtx]

Getting out of bed early - "Up at sparrow fart"

@MarPar

 

[Mackman]

“When I nod my head you hit it”
“Tighter than the hubs of hell”

 

[MarPar]

Getting out of bed early - "Up at sparrow fart"

@MarPar

View attachment 1167116

 

[themechanic]

Don't let your dingle-dangle dangle in the dirt. Pick up your dingle-dangle, tie it to your shirt.

Old Army cadence.

 

[themechanic]

Funny when someone thinks calling you Nimrod is a put down since Nimrod is attributed with being Noah's grandson and a mighty hunter and warrior who later built the great city of Ninevah.

 

[themechanic]

That's about as funny as a screen door on a submarine.

Or a 747 with a kick stand.

 

[themechanic]

Getting out of bed early - "Up at sparrow fart"

@MarPar

View attachment 1167116

Off with the fairies.

 

[themechanic]

She thinks her **** doesn't stink.

 

[QOTHL]

She thinks her **** doesn't stink.

And she thinks it's made of marble and it floats.

 

[QOTHL]

Getting out of bed early - "Up at sparrow fart"

Dutch oven.

 

[QOTHL]

 

[QOTHL]

"Use your head for something besides a hat rack"

 

[Kern Dog]

“When I nod my head you hit it”
“Tighter than the hubs of hell”

Wow. I haven’t heard either of those before.

 

[Kern Dog]

Don't let your dingle-dangle dangle in the dirt. Pick up your dingle-dangle, tie it to your shirt.

Old Army cadence.

How about Dilly-Dally?
Kerfuffle?

 

[QOTHL]

Kerfuffle?

Fishtoinkle.

Cow pie

 

[QOTHL]

 

[themechanic]

My friend used to have a saying for stupid people. It was, "You don't have the brains God gave a rubber duck."

 

[DeltaV]

About as funny as a flood in a fizzy factory

Colder than than the hinges hell

(I heard that from a Canadian)​

 

[kiwigtx]

Dry as a Witch's tit.

My throat's so dry, I'm farting dust.