What does a Mechanic Say?

[Slap Stick]

I was told once my car was out of warranty. Leave it and they will look at it right away.
When I showed them the extended warranty they were suddenly too busy to look at it.

 

[Cranky]

Park it over on the side....the scrap truck will get it in the morning.

 

[Pops1967GTX]

​

 

[Tbone416]

if you knew what was wrong with it why did you bring it to me
On a side note they were all running good right before they broke

 

[Pops1967GTX]

​

 

[hawkeye]

If the guy that designed this had it shoved up his ***, we'd both be tickled.

 

[Daves69]

View attachment 745948​

Lol, Been there! Way back I actually could sit on the inner well of my '77 Ramcharger to work on it. Now I can hardly see them on my Ram!

 

[Lefty71]

Now I can hardly see them on my Ram!

You did a nice job fixen up that Ramcharger. It was lookin pretty rough in the first pic, almost like a Chevy lol. JK

 

[Daves69]

You did a nice job fixen up that Ramcharger……..

As the saying goes, "If it's impossible it just takes longer"!

 

[68Moparmaniac]

So If Lumberjacks Say "Timber and Golfer say " Four" And a Welders says "Watch Your Eyes".....

View attachment 717573​

Will that be cash or credit...

 

[Ironbuilt]

"In God we trust, all others pay cash".

 

[68 Sport Satellite]

A good buddy of mine is a master mechanic for the last 25 years and has a twisted sense of humor. He likes to mess with people. This is a true story he told me that was witnessed by another friend at the car shop my buddy works at:

Customer comes in with a car issue on a high end German car.
Right away he portrays an anxious attitude but with a very obvious cheap bastard type of mentality. He says he doesn’t know what’s wrong and would like my friend to do a diagnosis there on the spot. My buddy tells him, “sir, would you like the 2 minute free diagnosis or the $50 diagnosis where you leave the car with me for a few hours?” The customer replies, “oh! The free diagnosis please!” So my mechanic friend tells one of the helper mechanics, “mike, go get me my bag.” The helper goes in the shop office and brings out a small hand sized pouch and hands it to the master mechanic. He pops the hood of the customer’s car and places a red shop towel over the top of the engine. He then opens the bag and empties onto the shop towel a handful of old dried up chicken bones. In an amusing and quizzical voice my mechanic buddy says to the customer, “the bones tell me that you need a new head gasket.” “Really??”, replies the customer?

(Facepalm)

Some people are such gullible idiots and cheap bastards to boot.

 

[khryslerkid]

Try explaining to your customer that just because you changed their oil last week it has nothing to do with their tail light bulb not working now. Or just go ahead and change it.

I had an elderly woman once that stated the red light on her dash kept coming on. So I checked everything and it all checked out ok. The next day she stopped by and said it came on again. I went through everything again and couldn't even make it come on. The following day she stops by again, still doing it.

Being a mechanic sometimes means you have to be able to decipher what a novice is really saying. I had a thought and asked her "When the light comes on, what do you do next?" She replied "Well I have to start it again". Now we're getting somewhere!

I stopped by her house early the next morning and checked her choke. Gave it a small adjustment and all is well. No more "Red Light".

 

[MoparLeo]

"We can fix it, no matter how much it costs "

 

[Fran Blacker]

Mechanic to me when I was an 18 year old :Blacker you took the good out of that transmission.......Again!

A 64 Olds with a Slim Jim trans, notoriously lousy trans.

 

[khryslerkid]

Remember the AAMCO commercials ragging on the mechanics. I always liked the monkeys with the baseball bats!

 

[Duckmanreno]

Try explaining to your customer that just because you changed their oil last week it has nothing to do with their tail light bulb not working now. Or just go ahead and change it.

I had an elderly woman once that stated the red light on her dash kept coming on. So I checked everything and it all checked out ok. The next day she stopped by and said it came on again. I went through everything again and couldn't even make it come on. The following day she stops by again, still doing it.

Being a mechanic sometimes means you have to be able to decipher what a novice is really saying. I had a thought and asked her "When the light comes on, what do you do next?" She replied "Well I have to start it again". Now we're getting somewhere!

I stopped by her house early the next morning and checked her choke. Gave it a small adjustment and all is well. No more "Red Light".

I tell my mechanic who is also a hunting buddy of mine. You replaced a bad water pump and now the trunk latch is not working!

 

[Pops1967GTX]

​

 

[Pops1967GTX]

​

 

[mopar Tim]

No you Cannot borrow my tools!!!