Sob Story-Am I Stingy?

[Dibbons]

The neighborhood kid that helps out here around the house/yard/vehicle once in awhile (painting, raking leaves, helping me bleed the brakes) came by late this afternoon asking for an advance of the next two hours labor he may put in later this week. A big sob story how some other "employer" promised to pay him today but failed to do so, and how now he didn't have enough to eat.

Well, he asked for an advance like this a few months ago, which took me by surprise at a weak moment and I agreed to spot him enough for his normal daily wage which was 2 hours @ $5.00 US dollars/hour = $10.00 bucks (not Mexican pesos). But I made it very, very clear this would be a one-time arrangement and I would never expect him to ask for an advance ever again, and neither would I be lending out any more wages beforehand. He finally showed up a few days after the "loan" when he worked two hours for "free" in order to pay me back.

My response to his renewed request today was an emphatic "no", reminding him what was explained the first time he requested an advance (never again), and explaining to him as well that it was not my personal problem to compensate him for the dishonesty of another "employer". If he was telling the truth today, I'm sorry for his misfortune, but that's life. Based on past personal negative experiences, I could foresee in the future this type of request becoming more & more the norm if I did not stop it in its tracks today.

I don't ever remember myself asking for an advance from any of my own employers. I do remember pawning my guitar once between paychecks in order to help pay the rent.

 

[Pikser]

I also would not have given him any money. However I may have given him a sandwich.

 

[Dibbons]

I thought about giving him a taco, but not until after he already left.

 

[QOTHL]

I've experienced many sob stories at gas stations asking for gas money.
I need to get home
I need to be with my kid in the hospital
I broke up with my boyfriend...two min. later a guy with a truck and trailer pulled up on the other side with his sob story.

A cop at one station saw this going on and told me never give someone doing this a dime. Then he went and had a nice talk with them.
I've had people pull in to my driveway and ask. That was years ago, fell for the "I'll come back and work it off" and never saw the guy again. If that happens again, I'm going to have a completely different response.

 

[Jesse6869]

I gave change 1 time to a young kid maybe 15 about 15 years ago. After i handed him about .75 cents the kid said that’s it i walked away and that was the last time I handed out anything again. NOT MY PROBLEM

 

[Dibbons]

The last time I filled someone's tank for them at a gas station I remember they were very thankful and took my address to reimburse me. Still waiting ...

 

[Sahara]

I wouldn’t have given him anything after the first time. If he figures out that you’re a softie he will be there constantly. You should give me the taco, though.

 

[1 Wild R/T]

I wouldn’t have given him anything after the first time. If he figures out that you’re a softie he will be there constantly. You should give me the taco, though.

Yesterday was Taco Tuesday... This is Weiner Wednesday...

 

[Sahara]

To roughly paraphrase Crocodile Dundee: That’s not a wiener, THIS is a Weiner!

 

[slimt]

You did good for a one time deal. But thats when the personal bank closes .

 

[diesel_lv]

Hmmmm, so the 1st time, the "kid" asks for a 2 hr advance and then follows through and works those 2 hrs? But you say from personal experience that's not the case. Did he or didn't he repay his debt? How old is this neighborhood "kid"? If he lives in the neighborhood, I'm sure You know his story is either true or false. No, you're not stingy, you're an ***.

 

[Gort]

How old is this "kid"? Christ...5 an hour is less than minimum wage...Less than half of minimum around here...
Unless that "kid" is like ten years old I wouldn't expect anything other than the absolute lowest of performances from him...Willing to work for that kind of pay...

If he IS ten then you just feed him if he tells you he's hungry...

 

[gkent]

Seriously, you're worried about ten lousy bucks ?!?! Ya ever heard of "paying it forward" you cheap prick ?!?! I'd be sleeping with one eye open from now on if I were you !!

 

[Triplegreen500]

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime.

You did the right thing. It's not the ten bucks...its the concept. You get paid...when you do the work. You explained it to him the first time; he ignored you and tried it again. You stood your ground. Nothing at all wrong with that.

Posts like #11, 12, and 13 are the reason we have no work ethic anymore.

 

[diesel_lv]

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime.

You did the right thing. It's not the ten bucks...its the concept. You get paid...when you do the work. You explained it to him the first time; he ignored you and tried it again. You stood your ground. Nothing at all wrong with that.

Posts like #11, 12, and 13 are the reason we have no work ethic anymore.

Worked my paper route from 12-14, bussed tabled n washed dishes 14-16, gas station 16-17, joined Army at 17 and did 23 yrs and 80% disability, 18 yrs as a cop n medically retired. My kids went to college and so did their husbands, paid off all loans n then they bought houses. Let me know when your perceived work ethic matches.

 

[Moms68]

I don’t know about your situation but if the kid has been reliable and a hard worker then he might be asking you as a last resort. You never know the entire back story, so if you’ve had a good history with him, I’d have handed him 20 bucks and said you’re a good kid and a hard worker, take this as a gift but never ask me for another loan.

 

[moparedtn]

The easy answer to the question is: depends.
On a lot of things.
Strangers are far different than known folks - or friends - or relatives or whatever.
There's degrees even to that, though.
You can go through life and be a hardass every single time, just so you have "the rule" -
and hey, if that makes you feel all banty rooster about it, that's great. For you...

Me, I know why we're on the planet to begin with.
Prime directive: we're here to help each other.

Of course, that doesn't mean most of the time or all of the time or even under the same
conditions - if you're observant and of good heart, you'll usually be able to tell how valid
the story is when presented to you, I believe.

So no, there's no hard and fast rule with me. Initial skepticism and resistance, sure - but
I've witnessed some amazing things in my life regarding this subject, so I flatly refuse to
say "never".

 

[Triplegreen500]

take this as a gift but never ask me for another loan.

The OP already did that. The kid came back anyway. To me...that would be a dealbreaker.

A smart kid would have asked "hey man, I need some money...what can I do for you right now, to earn $20?"

But I guess in today's welfare/entitlement state...people don't think that way anymore.

 

[Dibbons]

That's right, I had plenty for him to do around here today, but he did not offer to work.

 

[diesel_lv]

That's right, I had plenty for him to do around here today, but he did not offer to work.

Again, how old is he? I'm sure his education in Mexico and age gives him the same reasoning skills as your 60+ yrs. I'm sure you could have suggested that to him.