1971RR
Well-Known Member
Now my wife has started my truck for me every morning when we go to the gym. She takes my gym bag, puts it in my truck and fires it up and heads for the gym. I'm usually right behind her. She was raised on a standard. She knows how to drive my truck. But this morning, things happened a little differently.
How to crash a Dodge Ram Turbo Diesel and ruin your garage and classic car and generator all at the same time. Things I learned today:
1. When you work out at 4 in the morning, you should try to make sure you are fully awake before you attempt to operate heavy machinery.
2. When you start a standard Dodge Ram Turbo Cumings Diesel, you should take a seat fully inside the vehicle. Do not attempt to start the vehicle from the outside half in/half out position. This is apparently dangerous.
3. When starting said “Demon Truck”, one should be certain that the gear is in “Neutral”. Yes, neutral.
4. A Dodge Ram Turbo Cumings Diesel has 400ftlb of torque at idle.
5. When started, while still in gear, with no driver occupying the driver’s seat, a Dodge Ram Turbo Cumings Diesel will pop a wheelie even though the parking brake is still engaged.
6. When said “Demon Truck” pops that wheelie, the so called “operator” will be tossed around like a rag doll, possibly landing under the truck. Luckily, this girl was only tossed out the door.
7. A Dodge Ram Turbo Cumings Diesel will continue to jump and lurch and drive forward even when there is no occupant in the driver’s seat.
8. A Dodge Ram Turbo Cumings Diesel is apparently a BAD *** vehicle. It will drive through a hurricaine reinforced garage door, a little Tykes wagon, a 1971 classic RoadRunner, a set of metal shelves, and a 10,000W generator welder, as well as buckle the back wall of a garage.
9. When attempting to shut off said “Demon Truck”, one must try to get the brake or the clutch or the key or the **** stick or something in their grasp in order to stop said destruction.
10. This trick is very difficult to do while you are being pummeled by the frame of the door and the truck is still jumping and lurching and making forward progress and a trail of destruction all at the same time.
11. Likewise, you can’t re-enter the vehicle to shut it off, when you hip is jammed up against the driver’s seat which is advancing the automating seat adjustment forward and now only some small child or skinny bi___ could fit behind the wheel.
12. When you finally get the “Demon Truck” stopped….just collapse in the driveway and start crying.
13. Try to look as injured as possible so your husband does not kill you.
14. Husbands, when said carnage is in progress, feel free to continue to fix your coffee. Go ahead and pour the sugar, the cream, and put the lid on it. Feel free to wait until you hear that the carnage is fully over before you step out to assess the situation.
15. So, what do you do after you wreck the truck, the garage door, the classic car, the shelves, the generator, and the walls of the garage? You go to the gym and work out. Yep.
16. Nothing to see here folks..just go on about your day.
17. Morning exercise is a stress reliever, but this was a very tall order to fill and I am still stressed out. Now that my adrenaline is somewhat dissipated, I think I have a bad case of whiplash.
18. My normally high-strung husband who freaks out when his creamer is one shelf lower than usual in the pantry…he’s all calm, cool, collected, and reassuring. How is that possible?
19. Thanks for not killing me on the spot. I love you baby and I am REALLY REALLY SORRY!
20. Lastly, a Dodge Ram Turbo Killer, I mean Turbo Diesel, is a tuff truck. Only a few scratches in the paint.
21. Feel free to share this story with any children you may be teaching how to drive a stick.
22. The look on Bob (our insurance adjuster) Dillman’s face this morning priceless. Cost to fix all this carnage? I don’t want to know.
And yes, I heard the crash and continued to make my coffee. It didnt sound that bad. But I gotta say, this is pretty impressive. The parking brake was on in the truck, the garage door is reinforced hurricane door, the Roadrunner was in park, the welder/generator weighs 450 lb and is sitting on a wooded skid and two back wall studs were cracked. All that at idle...:rolling:
How to crash a Dodge Ram Turbo Diesel and ruin your garage and classic car and generator all at the same time. Things I learned today:
1. When you work out at 4 in the morning, you should try to make sure you are fully awake before you attempt to operate heavy machinery.
2. When you start a standard Dodge Ram Turbo Cumings Diesel, you should take a seat fully inside the vehicle. Do not attempt to start the vehicle from the outside half in/half out position. This is apparently dangerous.
3. When starting said “Demon Truck”, one should be certain that the gear is in “Neutral”. Yes, neutral.
4. A Dodge Ram Turbo Cumings Diesel has 400ftlb of torque at idle.
5. When started, while still in gear, with no driver occupying the driver’s seat, a Dodge Ram Turbo Cumings Diesel will pop a wheelie even though the parking brake is still engaged.
6. When said “Demon Truck” pops that wheelie, the so called “operator” will be tossed around like a rag doll, possibly landing under the truck. Luckily, this girl was only tossed out the door.
7. A Dodge Ram Turbo Cumings Diesel will continue to jump and lurch and drive forward even when there is no occupant in the driver’s seat.
8. A Dodge Ram Turbo Cumings Diesel is apparently a BAD *** vehicle. It will drive through a hurricaine reinforced garage door, a little Tykes wagon, a 1971 classic RoadRunner, a set of metal shelves, and a 10,000W generator welder, as well as buckle the back wall of a garage.
9. When attempting to shut off said “Demon Truck”, one must try to get the brake or the clutch or the key or the **** stick or something in their grasp in order to stop said destruction.
10. This trick is very difficult to do while you are being pummeled by the frame of the door and the truck is still jumping and lurching and making forward progress and a trail of destruction all at the same time.
11. Likewise, you can’t re-enter the vehicle to shut it off, when you hip is jammed up against the driver’s seat which is advancing the automating seat adjustment forward and now only some small child or skinny bi___ could fit behind the wheel.
12. When you finally get the “Demon Truck” stopped….just collapse in the driveway and start crying.
13. Try to look as injured as possible so your husband does not kill you.
14. Husbands, when said carnage is in progress, feel free to continue to fix your coffee. Go ahead and pour the sugar, the cream, and put the lid on it. Feel free to wait until you hear that the carnage is fully over before you step out to assess the situation.
15. So, what do you do after you wreck the truck, the garage door, the classic car, the shelves, the generator, and the walls of the garage? You go to the gym and work out. Yep.
16. Nothing to see here folks..just go on about your day.
17. Morning exercise is a stress reliever, but this was a very tall order to fill and I am still stressed out. Now that my adrenaline is somewhat dissipated, I think I have a bad case of whiplash.
18. My normally high-strung husband who freaks out when his creamer is one shelf lower than usual in the pantry…he’s all calm, cool, collected, and reassuring. How is that possible?
19. Thanks for not killing me on the spot. I love you baby and I am REALLY REALLY SORRY!
20. Lastly, a Dodge Ram Turbo Killer, I mean Turbo Diesel, is a tuff truck. Only a few scratches in the paint.
21. Feel free to share this story with any children you may be teaching how to drive a stick.
22. The look on Bob (our insurance adjuster) Dillman’s face this morning priceless. Cost to fix all this carnage? I don’t want to know.
And yes, I heard the crash and continued to make my coffee. It didnt sound that bad. But I gotta say, this is pretty impressive. The parking brake was on in the truck, the garage door is reinforced hurricane door, the Roadrunner was in park, the welder/generator weighs 450 lb and is sitting on a wooded skid and two back wall studs were cracked. All that at idle...:rolling:
