Rules for men. Let's discuss.

[Kern Dog]

I saw this on FABO and thought it was worthy of discussion here.

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THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!

STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!

OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!

JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.

IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..

PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING.

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What are your thoughts?

 

[eldubb440]

when I've been sleeping over 12 hours, leave me alone....... I'm obviously exhausted (I just got up )

 

[Rebellion]

The silent treatment is NOT a punishment.

 

[Just Send It]

1) Look me in the eye when you shake my hand

2) Be respectful of my time

3) If I'm training you on something, don't make me keep repeating myself. Write it down. Make crib notes. Put it in your phone. Tattoo it on your forehead. I dont care...See #2

 

[Kern Dog]

How about this?
Keep me in the "loop". I don't like waiting for something with NO idea if you're holding up your end or ignoring me.

 

[Rebellion]

If I have to make a right turn in 3 miles, believe it or not, it isn't imperative that I make a lane change NOW!

 

[Rebellion]

Do I remember your Aunt Susan? Of course, dear. She drove a 1970 Coronet with a 318.

 

[khryslerkid]

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

Why can't they place it up when they're done? Who made this rule anyway ?

 

[ckessel]

I plead the 5th.

 

[Kern Dog]

Why can't they place it up when they're done? Who made this rule anyway ?

If you have dogs, you'll want to keep the seat down.
I prefer to leave mine down for the sake of accidently dropping something into the bowl...Car magazines or something I can't easily replace!

 

[eldubb440]

please don't be stupid, in words and/or actions

 

[YY1]

Not just the seat, the LID.

More even distribution of the work.

 

[Budnicks]

I grew up with 5 sisters
I raised 4 girls
I can relate to almost all of them

women dated or one I lived with, some (most) are true too #1
or teenage girls, drama queens for no good reasons

I assume that the org. post, it's a man talking about women,

'a must read' (below)
& you still won't understand them, unless you're

 

[GTXDAN]

If you have dogs, you'll want to keep the seat down.
I prefer to leave mine down for the sake of accidently dropping something into the bowl...Car magazines or something I can't easily replace!

Or glasses. Been there done that

 

[Demonic]

I leave the seat up every other time. True 50% equality.

 

[Photon440]

 

[4vnut]

Quote, "What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice." Unquote

 

[Cranky]

And if you think we both need to go to see the shrink together that's fine but just don't make it out like I'm the one that needs to make all the changes in our marriage or relationship. I'll kick out the next one that does that to me and will not wait for you to leave. In fact there will be no more seeing the shrink in my lifetime so don't even freaking ask.

 

[Kern Dog]

I’ve read before…..
Men meet women and don’t ever want them to change.
Women meet men and set about to change them.

Boy did I get lucky…Mary is the coolest woman that I have ever met. She doesn’t nag, doesn’t bitch and doesn’t try to change me.
Great lady! We celebrate our 21st anniversary in about 2 weeks!

 

[Dennis H]

Linda rarely hears me if asked a question. Reason? In her head she is thinking(while I’m asking) what is this asshole REALLY asking.