State Achieves Goal Of Having Every Road Under Construction At The Same Time

[Richard Cranium]

Jun 26, 2023

JEFFERSON CITY, MO — A celebration broke out in Missouri's capital today after word came in that the state had successfully placed every single freeway, road, and bridge under construction all at the same time.

"It's an amazing feat," said one state legislator. "And right in time for the July 4th holiday, too! This really puts us in the record books and makes our citizens' lives harder than ever before. It's great to be a small part of such an impressive achievement."

State leaders had been strategizing with local county and city governments for months to put the plan together. As construction began on the last street in the state that had remained open to traffic, members of the state legislature and the Missouri Department of Transportation held a groundbreaking ceremony. "We stand here today making history," said civil engineer Sean Kellar. "There are officially no roads left in Missouri that are not under heavy construction. For all the kids out there — this is living proof that you can accomplish anything!"

Residents of the state did not share the same level of excitement. "It takes me forever to go anywhere!" said an exasperated Kobe Hardin. "I had to go fill up at the gas station down the street, but it took me three hours to get there because of all the road closures. I can't live like this anymore!"

At publishing time, construction was expected to remain ongoing on every road in the state as long as the world exists.

 

[1STMP]

RC....
This site would be lost without your
sense of humor. Thanks to you
for keeping things light during
troubled times. We ALL need
a good laugh now and then.
Hats' off.

 

[Pedalpusher]

People in West Virginia have to be feeling the same scenario on I-64. Recently went to Norfolk visit son, about three miles in…. from KY, they introduce you to the state with a launch pad!! From there it’s the steady glow of orange barrel’s to Greenbrier.

 

[1STMP]

People in West Virginia have to be feeling the same scenario on I-64. Recently went to Norfolk visit son, about three miles in…. from KY, they introduce you to the state with a launch pad!! From there it’s the steady glow of orange barrel’s to Greenbrier.

This stuff is happening in just about
every single state.
Infrastructure for EV's.
The progress will seem slow as drivers
on our nation's roads tend to be the
impatient sort. It's difficult to give up
what has been considered the status
quo for nearly a hundred years. I don't
condone the transition. it's being forced upon us.
Me being of the baby boom generation
will never own what the government
deems as necessary for my survival.
This opinion is in no way political.
My memories of youth. Gleaming
hot rods (for those that dared go
beyond the norms of white shirts
and neckties), the '58 chevys, the
highly coveted dunce coupes. the
'57 Birds. Americans take much
pride in the ability to voice what
ever their personal choice may be.
Damn, if that doesn't sound like
freedom.

 

[chargervert]

It seems like it takes them,years sometimes even decades to finish road construction projects around here!

 

[69a100]

 

[6PK2GOBEE]

Here in New York State we call it “politicians legislating their own prosperity”…

 

[YY1]

There are two routes I can take between my home and work.
The next closest is almost 20 miles out of the way.

BOTH primary routes have construction last week and this week.

3 months ago, the same thing happened about half way to work with the same circumstances.

it's like no one even looks to see what other construction is going on before permitting something else nearby.

 

[patrick66]

Try driving the Interstates in and around Oklahoma City these days. It never ends. Ever.

The German Autobahns were never like this. They build those to last forever. I have heard the pavement is nearly two feet thick, where ours is maybe half that, and requires frequent rework. By design, I'm sure.

 

[Rebelrouser]

Well, I guess take your pick, road construction or potholes. They have been rebuilding all the bridge's around here, so lots of detours, but I would rather put up with a detour for a couple months than have a bridge collapse. Most of those bridges were built in the 30's and 40's on our country roads. Thing is they did not do proper maintenance for many years, finally they decided to spend some money.

 

[Xp29h]

Looks like Maine!

 

[Hey-O]

Residents of the state did not share the same level of excitement. "It takes me forever to go anywhere!" said an exasperated Kobe Hardin. "I had to go fill up at the gas station down the street, but it took me three hours to get there because of all the road closures. I can't live like this anymore!"

At publishing time, construction was expected to remain ongoing on every road in the state as long as the world exists.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As a resident of this great forward thinking state, I take offence to this fabricated BS!!!!!!!! I know for a fact, that two or three roads have not been touched, OK, one for sure. I live dead center of two bridges that cross highway 70 and both are being gutted as we speak and won't be done till next summer. In all reality, the state has 4.7 billion to spend on roads and bridges. They're talking about adding a lane from one end of highway 70 to the other through the state. I'll be dead before they finish that.... My wife and her girlfriends went out for dinner one day last week, on the other side of the highway. I can almost see it from my house, took them 15 minutes to get there from my house, 6:00 at night. There is some truth to it!!

 

[dart4forte]

Sounds like Phoenix